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27 September 2007 @ 09:57 am
Back on 6 September, i posted about my problems with my DivaCup.  Ya'll were so helpful and came to my aid and for that, i will always be grateful. 

The Diva Cup, however, will never be my friend.  I am so happy for those of you that a cup works!!  And, i have to admit, a bit jealous. 

I have tried everything.  And i give up.  I sit here, in tears yet again over this ridiculous piece of rubber, or silicone or whatever the hell it is made from! 

I have taken into consideration everything you wonderfully helpful women have told me.  I have explored.  I have done dry run after dry run in the few days i have between bleeds.  I have cut the stem.  I have tried every fold.  I have tired opening it half way in but cannot manage to cram it in any further.  I cannot get it to open if it is inserted all the way.  I cannot deal with the pain and discomfort of it hanging half way out.  It hurts and has prevented me from having  sex life for the past month because i am so damn sore. 

I bought the Diva Cup because i wanted to save money and i hated the idea of throwing yet another bloodly tampon into the already overtaxed garbage system that exists here in our modern world. 

Sadly, it was a waste of my money.  I so do not want to scare away any new users, but please, know your vagina and cervix BEFORE you spend the money, if money is an issue for you the way it is for me. 

Thanks for all your help, everyone.  I'm heading out to the store to get tampons now.  *tear*
tomorrowendytomorrowendy on September 27th, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
i sympathize with you. however, you should not consider this a brutal defeat but merely a mild setback. do not overthink it. put it away and try again next month. take no shame in resorting to tampons because of cup troubles but dont swear off the cup forever. it can get better.

also, i am a virgin and knew next to nothing about my vagina and, somehow, i was able to make it work. i just kept trying and didnt give up. whenever i was fed up with it and sore, i simply went back to pads and tried again the following month. it can work for you. keep hope alive.
...beanrows on September 27th, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
:( I'm sorry that it gave you such a hard time.

Have you considered trying a shorter cup?
Chibitsukichibi on September 27th, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC)
One question - you've tried the cup during your period, right? I couldn't tell if you had or not from your post. It's infinitely easier to get the cup in when you're bleeding (in my opinion). Also, as someone else suggested, have you considered a shorter cup? I believe the Mooncup UK is quite a bit shorter than the Diva. Just something to keep in mind, perhaps... I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, honey. :(
leaksgeek on September 27th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC)
This month the only way i've been able to open my (divacup)is to insert it in the punchdown fold.. I grabbed the base(I cut off the stem)and pull down while flexing up my vaginal muscles for a few seconds and unflex then again. I had to sometimes wiggle the cup or turn it. It's faster than it seems but normally I don't have problems with my DivaCup opening. I have a Mooncup UK and that opens easily all the time.

Maybe look into kegels.
.dreams in digital.feuerrader24 on September 27th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry your Diva hasn't been working for you. Some women have better/worse experiences with different cups, so perhaps menstrual cups are not out of the question, but the Diva brand is.
I had a friend who spent months learning how to use the cup properly. I'm one of the lucky few who got it down within a day and have never had a major problem with it. There is a learning curve to cups, so giving it 20 days is really nothing in the grand scheme of things. Try it next cycle. And then try it again. What do you have to lose?

I believe if you can have sex, you can use a cup. You have something a lot bigger and a lot less flexible in your vagina during sex (PIV, that is), so if your body can handle that, it CAN handle a flexible, silicone cup. Pain is not good, so if you try the cup and it is causing pain, give it a break! Maybe for a day, or a week, or even a month. Don't keep trying to jam it in if it hurts. Wait and try again later.

Also, I suggest Kegels. I use them to get my cup to open and into place. Kegels will help strengthen the muscles in your vagina and might help your cup fit better and not hurt you. Oh, and Kegels during sex can be quite nice, but you didn't hear it from me... =P

Get a mirror and look inside. Learn more about all your parts and how they fit and sit inside of you, because if you have something a bit different down there, it might impede how the cup sits in your body.

Good luck & feel better!
chefgirlchefgirl74 on September 27th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
So far, I feel your pain. This is my first month attempting the cup and I feel very defeated! I just have to remember how horrid I thought tampons were when I started to use those. But at least they weren't suctioning the insides of me out! I think I might look into the MoonCup...I dunno. All I know is that I have to go to the store this evening to buy more disposable products while my Diva sits on the bathroom counter drying out.
Happy Rowanfairgoldberry on September 27th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)

I'm so sorry this has not been a positive experience for you. There's nothing quite so upsetting as feeling defeated by something inanimate.

Perhaps you could give it a few cycles and then come back to it, once you've completely gotten over the soreness and frustration? Sometimes all you need is one really positive experience, but I know that trying to put in the cup when your bits and your nerves are irritated just makes both feel worse.

Take a couple of cycles off the cup, and then come back to it on one of the lighter days of your period. Don't try any more dry runs, because it sounds like those are just frustrating you. One day, when you feel ten feet tall and bulletproof, give it another shot.

Whether you decide to stay with a menstrual cup or not, I hope you don't have any more frustrating product experiences.
Mixed feelings: Mooncup usergemfyre on September 27th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
And if all the above advice doesn't work - there are always reusable pads, which are also a cheaper, healthier, more environmentally friendly alternative to commercial pads and tampons.
Annswedishfish23 on September 28th, 2007 02:47 am (UTC)
Don't forget about sea sponges and organic tampons... every little bit helps :) You'll find whats best for you
LaVieFacilelaviefacile on September 28th, 2007 01:40 am (UTC)
Oh, sister! I'm so sorry you're having problems. I say put it in the back of the cabinet and give yourself permission to forget about it. In the meantime, I second the recommendation to investigate cloth pads. They are so soft and comfy!

Maybe months down the line you'll come across your cup and feel moved to try again.

Here's what finally worked for me (hopefully this is a new idea for you): Lie on the bed in cha-cha-doc pose -- that is, on your back with knees bent and legs spread -- and relax. Then try inserting. That's the only way I can get all the necessary muscles to relax (I'm still new to this; maybe it will get easier). Just remember that the angle of the vagina is different than when you're upright.

Be gentle with yourself. Maybe it's just not time.
chienbleu on September 28th, 2007 01:40 am (UTC)
if it makes you feel any better, you're not alone. i tried the diva and i haaaaated it. i had a terrible time with it--couldn't get it in, and then once i FINALLY crammed it in there, it was nearly impossible for me to remove. panicking and freaking out and the whole bit. i tried for two cycles and just couldn't stand it anymore.

several months later, i found this community and realized that cups really do vary in size, so i decided to try again. i bought a mooncup UK, and i've used it for two cycles now without a single problem! the difference is like night and day, i swear.
raqsraqs on September 28th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
It sounds like you might just need to relax and try again next cycle. When I first got a cup I tried it, said "Shit that hurt!" and threw it in the closet for a month. Next cycle, I tried it again just because I was curious and refused to believe it absolutely wouldn't work for me when it seemed to work for everyone else. There's nothing particularly special about my vagina, after all.

I now have a Mooncup which is MUCH more comfortable than my DivaCup (which I still keep as a backup). I've learned a few things over the last five months or so and one of those things is that dry, it still hurts to try to put the cup it; it's MUCH easier while menstruating; and it changes from time to time, I guess as my body changes.

When you're feeling calmer, next cycle or the one after taht, give it a try again and you may find that it works differently.
creamandcustard on October 2nd, 2007 08:02 am (UTC)
Interesting to read your post....after visiting my friend in Canada and (after her and her sister's glowing recommendations) buying a Divacup I returned home to the UK all excited but had similar "no way!" exeriences to yourself. I also tried cutting the stem so can't return it.

Anyway, I found myself on this fantastic site looking at a picture of a line-up of cups. The Divacup is significantly longer than the Mooncup which I bought last month. So I'm on the first day of my second month with the UK Mooncup. I wouldn't say I'm perfect with it as there was some "spotting" last month - this could be due to me buying the smaller size as a reaction to having the larger size Divacup (I'm 32-no children). Keger exercises here I come!

My menstrual cup does seem to sit a little lower than tampons but most of the time last month I couldn't feel it, but I think I'll probably end up with the stem completely off.

I hope you find a system that works well with your body and your beliefs. If in the future you are financially better off you could maybe try a different cup then. As someone else said, Sea Sponges as natural tampons might work for you.

Good luck!