Either way, after dinner, I opened up the package, scanned the directions, and rolled my eyes at all the things it says that I know from reading this community are untrue. I couldn't keep my hands off the cup itself - it's just a fascinating little object.
So I went in the bathroom, washed it off, went about my business, put it in punchdown fold or something resembling it, and started trying to slide it down.
It went most of the way in, suprisingly - just short of the widest part of the cup, and I'm sure I could have gotten past that with a little finessing. But, as I encountered this resistance, I brought it back out to adjust the fold, and the moment it was all the way out, it unfolded and suctioned onto the outside area of my va-jay-jay, making a very loud and embarassing popping noise when I removed it. With my brother, who has good hearing, just down a very short hallway in his room and probably what the heck I was doing in there, I decided this was a pursuit best delayed for when I take a shower - if nothing else, for the noise-masking shower spray. Amusing as it was, I didn't want people hearing the popping noise of another cup + bajingo make-out session being brought to a foreceful end.
That went better. A few more tries and several more disgusting "squlch" noises, it got in where only the stem was sticking out, which was a new record. Still, it didn't unfold. A few more tries, and I noticed the bottom of the cup seemed pretty round and un-flattenened. Could it be? With some effort I felt around the cup with my finger and concluded that it really was opened up all the way, or at least to a functioning oval shape.
This achievement, along with the realization that thanks to the hollow stem sticking out of me, my personal region looks sort of like a squirt gun, leaves me fairly satisfied. Obviously, it's INCREDIBLY low-down, but I really don't think I can shove it in farther. Stupid low cervix. I can't feel it at all except for the stem poking this way and that - I won't be hasty, but I have a feeling the entire thing is going to come off eventually.
All in all, it's going pretty well. I think I am getting that "harder to pee" complication, though. What are the chances my body will just naturally adjust to that and it won't be an issue at all? I could certainly cope, but it is an inconvenience.
EDIT: I managed to get it out fairly easily (which makes me wonder if I had a sealm but there's no way to know until my period actually comes), and I trimmed a bit off the stem. Putting it back in, I got it to go completely in, no stem sticking out! Unfortunately it migrated back down after a few minutes. Now, the stem is not so much poking the side of my bajingo, but rather stabbing my hymen. Joy. What a time to not have nail files in the house.