The peeing/pooping thing is normal---you shouldn't have to change it. Also the whole it not collecting in the cup is normal too.

1) no. I don't feel it at all. The cup will position itself though. So if you insert it too far in it will eventually make it's way down to behind the pubic bone.

2) I don't know exactly what I can feel, but it's very obvious feeling that it's come out of place. If you've ever used tampons, it feels similar when the tampon is too moist and is sliding out.

3) Yes. The main downfall of insteads is they have no suction action like reusable cups so they will be more prone to leak, not as good of collectors, and when you pee or poop some of the blood may come out.

I don't quite understand why you're so disappointed? When I used insteads I had the same concerns you did, but other than that I thought they were great. In fact, I was overjoyed because I got to sleep more than 8 hours because with tampons I was paranoid of TSS and would wake up. And the first night I was amazed because my vagina wasn't all dried out from tampons.

Well, I was disappointed at first because I thought that meant that it was leaking, which meant I didn't put in right, which meant that probably having sex with them wasn't going to turn out very well. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in a LONG TIME, and I was counting on these working.

I haven't used Instead cups but I think it's generally recommended to empty it right before you have sex; that way the leakage should be at a minimum. Plus you'll be able to enjoy it more instead of worrying that the sex is suddenly going to dislodge a cup full of blood.

i used instead for two years, but now i'm switching to a nondisposable cup, for various reasons. so here's what i can tell you about instead:

when the instead cup is inserted properly, you won't feel it. it'll be hooked under the public bone -- there's not a lot of receptors in that area of your body, so you really shouldn’t feel it. it you can feel it, you've inserted it improperly or it has popped out of place.
i never felt it move behind the public bone, but of it moved i could definitely feel it inside of me (like something 'poking' or 'pressing' against my vaginal wall); often, if it's out of place, you can reposition it without having to take it out... pull it forward a little bit to get a good grip in it, and then just push it farther back.

i never felt the cup pop open -- i don't think there's a 'pop' like with nondisposible cups. it's kinda like inserting a diaphragm, if you've ever used one of those... the rim of the cup just locks under the public bone and contours itself to fit your particular body. you'll know its in the right place if a) you can't feel the cup and b) you can feel your cervix on the other side of the cup, like the website explains.

a big frustration with insteads is that going #2 often pushes the cup out of place as a result of bearing down to move your bowels. this is normal for this product, you didn’t do anything wrong. (it says something about it on the web site, but i don't remember where exactly.) the leakage... that kinda sucks, but it’s normal. some women can just easily push the cup back into place afterwards, but i found that often i had 'repositioning' problems... often i just couldn't get the damn thing back in place properly afterwards... i usually just removed the cup altogether, and inserted a fresh one after i was finished. this worked out better anyways as i wanted to wash my hands after finishing #2, but before i reinserted my fingers into myself.

a good idea with these cups is always to have a moist towelette with you if you're using a public washroom. if you have to reposition, you're likely to get blood on your fingers; you can wipe it off before you leave the stall.

good luck!

I used Instead cups for six months, and I agree with everything above. I think you did put it in right, and that it was working, but pooping messed that up

The lack of suction is the biggest issue, really. Ideally, your pubic bone keeps it in place in all situations. But bowel movements is one of those things that makes it move. Vigorous sex is another, from what I've heard, so maybe lay a towel down just in case before you get intimate.

Hang in there and don't get discouraged. You'll get the hang of it after the first cycle or two.

It sounds like you did everything right and since it didn't leak until you went to the bathroom. Problem with Insteads is that any pushing in that area tends to bring the Instead with it. When I used them, the only work around I could find was to put a finger in my vagina to keep the Instead sliding out while I had a pee or whatever. It does tend to break the seal anyway, but at least you can keep it from flying into the toilet. I wish the Instead had been my solution, but it wasn't. For me the Divacup outperforms any damn thing on the market.