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17 August 2018 @ 02:48 pm
Okay, here's the deal: I'm 26 and I'm not a virgin so I don't understand why I find it so hard to put the cup in. I've tried folds aplenty but whenever I try to push it in, it either (1) pops open prematurely, or (2) it kinda hits a wall (also an issue when having sex?) inside and it hurts so badly. It might just be the angle of how I'm positioned (kinda squatting but not really) but I just don't understand how the hell is it taking me too long. Or maybe I'm putting it in the wrong hole (lol I'm kidding). But seriously, any tips? Or should I lube it up because perhaps I'm too *dry* down below?

Thank you! This is really embarrassing but I have no one to share this struggles with 😭
 
Nathalianathskywalker on August 17th, 2018 09:40 am (UTC)
There's a common misconception that PIV stretches out the vagina. We associate virginal with tight and non-virginal with worn-out, loose vagina, I guess. Vaginal tightness is not related to whether (or how much) you've had dick or any other phallic object inside you before. You might just have a narrow vaginal canal. I'd try lube. When you do have PIV sex, you're aroused and wetter, so it's easier for the dick to go in but cups just aren't that sexy. Try with lube, be patient, it might take a little bit, even a cycle or two, to get used to the cup. What size cup do you have?

I also noticed that you describe your problem as "hitting a wall." Do you mean literally? If you struggle with inserting objects into the vagina, it could be vaginismus. Have you ever had problems with tampons, pap smears, sex toys, fingers, etc?
cupnoob on August 17th, 2018 12:29 pm (UTC)
Hi Nathalia! Thanks for replying. :) It kinda feels like a wall (at least for me). I've never had issues with transvaginal ultrasounds and pap smears, but when I do have sex, there are times where it just don't feel good and it kinda feels as if there's a certain tightness inside.

I thought that it would be easier since I've gone through medical procedures and had PIV, but it's just not the case. Thank you for the insights! I really appreciate it.
Nathalianathskywalker on August 17th, 2018 01:15 pm (UTC)
I don't have firsthand experience with vaginismus and my suggestion is based solely on your "wall" description. I've talked to people with it a little and they described difficulty with insertion (in this case of a penis) unless in specific positions though those positions probably vary from person to person.

Maybe try other positions to insert the cup. I like to just sit on the toilet and do it but in the beginning I propped up one leg on the sink, squatted, etc. YOu might also want to look into the size of your cup. Maybe there's a smaller one or this one is too firm? Maybe a softer cup would fold up better and make insertion easier. I've only ever used one cup, so I can't give recommendations on good cups.

My cup pops open before it's supposed to too sometimes. I have a pretty high cervix. Usually I just try to push it up a little more but as long as it's deep enough inside me where I don't feel it sitting down, I don't feel the need to place it allll the way up.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on August 17th, 2018 07:38 pm (UTC)
Next time you use the toilet, insert your finger and give it a squeeze with your muscles. That's your PC muscle. And now that you know how to clench it on command, practice relaxing it. You'll need to do that for insertion (whether pleasure or function) and especially for cup removal. Then when time comes for your cup or PIV, then relax it. It helps to keep your jaw slack -- and don't forget to breathe. ;o)

Lube... use a water-based one such as K-Y or a generic. Put a pea-sized dab on YOU, not your cup. For PIV, K-Y tends to get gummy. Experiment with other brands until you find one that you like.