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Firstly, I'm really sorry about asking things that may have already been asked.

I'm new to menstrual cups, this is my first cycle using it. I purchased my LilyCup in size A (the small one) less than a month ago and since I wasn't on my period, I decided to try and figure out how to insert it (and eventually remove it). I had a few tries, but it didn't go really well, so the first time I could really get it in was the first day of my cycle (a few days ago).
From that day on, inserting the menstrual cup hadn't been a problem at all. I don't remember the first and second removal being really painful or anything like that. But the last two were. And I had been struggling with it for about half an hour each time to get it out, still not painless at all.
I should have removed it yesterday again, obviously, but I couldn't get it out (I'm pretty sure that suction is my main issue here), I tried two times again today, but the results were the same.

My first question is: how do I release the suction without hurting myself that much? I've tried pinching the bottom part of the cup, but I think it's too soft to break the suction that way. I've tried reaching the rim (upper part) with my fingers, but it's too high. And I've tried pushing the front part with my thumb: it broke the suction a few times, but I wasn't able to take the cup out because it created the suction again.

My second question is related to vaginismus. I think I have it, though it hasn't been confirmed by anyone. Basically, me and my boyfriend wanted (and we still do) to have sex, we've tried several times, but it hurt me almost to the point my eyes started tearing. And at first we thought it was the normal pain you experience the first time, so he tried getting in, but he couldn't do it. And also, the first few times I've tried inserting the cup, it hurt the same way. And when I have it in, sometimes I have small cramps that are similar to the pain I felt during the attempts with my boyfriend. So the question is: does this whole situation affect my menstrual cup experience? And could it be the reason why removing it hurts so much?

The post is long, but I really am in need of clarifying some things.

Thank you :)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on September 28th, 2016 12:05 am (UTC)
"how do I release the suction without hurting myself that much?"
Practice, practice, practice. You are still on your first cycle and therefore still in the dreaded learning curve. Read the advice under the "removal" tags and keep trying different things until you figure out what works best for you. We're all different. Your Lilycup has a unique shape that does not include anti-suction holes so you will probably have to modify the advice that you find.

Vaginismus: Not to trivialize it but it's a snowball effect. Insertion (for function or pleasure) is unfamiliar and yes, there can be pain involved at first but you fear the pain so you involuntarily clench your PC muscle, so it hurts more, so you clench more, so it hurts more...

Open your mouth, keep your jaw slack and don't forget to breathe.

Next time you're on the toilet, insert your finger and clench your muscles to give it a little squeeze. OK, now that you know how to clench them, practice relaxing them. You'll need to do that for insertion (including for pleasure) and especially for cup removal.
havefunlou on December 4th, 2016 02:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your advices! It's been a few months and it is definitely better now. I've learned how to relax my muscles and I have no issues at all anymore.
gigglygecko on September 28th, 2016 03:05 am (UTC)
Hello, and welcome!

I agree with the previous poster that a lot of it is to do with practice. Personally, I always needed to grab the stem and wriggle the cup down until it's dangling out a little before I can even break the suction. This is always a little uncomfortable, but not particularly painful.

If your vagina clenches so tight he can't even get in, it does sound like vaginismus. Though it sounds like it is not as severe as mine was because I could not even get a cup in when it was at its worst! Two things helped me with vaginismus, one of which was getting used to a menstrual cup! It helped me to realise I can have something inside of that circumference without any pain and it's perfectly safe to have something in there. The other thing that helped me was a tool called the vagi-wave. However, this was my last resort because all the doctors I went to were very condescending, unhelpful and sometimes even made it worse! I'd recommend trying to find a doctor first to confirm it is vaginismus and perhaps give some advice. If you can't find a good doctor, I would highly recommend the vagi-wave.
havefunlou on December 4th, 2016 02:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you for all your advices, knowing you're not the first person on the planet having certain issues is definitely a good thing. Anyways, I've solved both problems, it was all about being relaxed. I don't have any issues at all anymore!
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on September 30th, 2016 09:43 pm (UTC)
As a shortcut, you might try taking Orajel and rubbing it around the entrance area before you insert or remove the cup.

As a long term solution, you may actually want a different cup, or you may want to punch suction release holes near the top of the Lily. Because it has no holes it WILL sucker onto your cervix--that happened to me a few times. Makes it hard to remove. Since you have a high cervix (the Lily wouldn't fit inside if you didn't) I might recommend the Si-Bell if you want a different design with the same level of softness.
havefunlou on December 4th, 2016 02:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I've solved my issues and now I can get the cup in and out mostly with no effort. I'm thinking about getting a new cup though 'cause apparently my cervix becomes too low in the end of my cycle and the Lily cup doesn't fit in there completely in the last two days of bleeding. Any advices?