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Hello all!

I am a new cup user, and while I have researched for months, read tons of entries on this forum, watched youtube videos, etc.. I am still having trouble with my cup. A little background: I am 28 years old and have given birth to one child, which was 10 years ago. I have not had a menstrual period since before my son was born, until last month. After going so long without periods, it felt like the first time again. I went straight to using a cup and did not go back to pads or tampons at all.

Although I used my cup throughout my whole cycle last month and am using it again for this one, I am experiencing quite a few issues. My research led me to purchase a large Lunette, and my problems are as follows:

1. If I insert my cup pointing back toward my tailbone rather than up (as I've read is the correct technique), it tends to sit too low and cause discomfort. The stem sticks out, I feel immense pressure on my bladder, and the cup stays crushed/squished by my pubic bone. Only when I insert tilting the cup slightly back at first, *then up*, does it get "sucked" in by my vagina and fully open. After that, I can't feel it at all while it's in. Could my vaginal canal just be shaped differently than most? Any other insertion techniques that I'm missing for this problem?

2. I have never been able to feel my own cervix with my middle finger at any time of the month, so I've always assumed it sits pretty high. I'm wondering now if I'm just missing it somehow when I'm feeling around in there? Is it possible to go "past" the cervix, and if so, any ideas for how to be sure I find it? I'd really like to start getting a feel for where exactly it's at so I know where it's sitting in relationship to my cup.

3. When I go to remove the cup, I always squeeze the base first and then crawl or slide my fingers up the side so I can grip the whole thing. But whenever I grab my cup near the top and start folding it in for removal, I feel a really sharp pressure/pinching pain. This seems to be the easiest method of breaking the seal and removing the cup, but it's very unpleasant almost every time. Could my cervix be sitting inside the cup and getting pinched by it, or is this something else? I'd really like to get the hang of this and not get scared off, but I tend to be very squeamish about this stuff due to past traumas and this pain/difficulty is taking its toll.

Any and all advice you can give is so appreciated! Or if you think I might just need to try a different cup, I'm very open to recommendations for that. Thank you all!
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on August 13th, 2016 07:19 pm (UTC)
If you haven't already, skim/read http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ I think it will answer some of your questions.

Yes, insert your cup toward your tailbone, let it open, and then nudge the base to point your cup toward where ever you think your cervix might be. Then kegel it up and into place.

Don't worry if you can't feel/find your cervix. Keep guessing until you get it right. How will you know it's right? Your cup will fill.

As for removal, yes, you might be squeezing a dangly cervix. Or you might be creating suction. Keep trying different techniques until you can get your cup out more easily.

There's a learning curve to these cups. How to get it in, how to get it out, how to trust it. If you're not sure, then stick close to home until you figure it out. Use more familiar products if you're going out.

As for another cup, don't get another yet. Learn to work the one that you already have. The large Lunette, right? It's a "medium" length with big anti-suction holes and a nice frosted texture. User-friendly. Once you get the hang of it, then decide whether or not you'd like something different either to supplement or replace it. You'll have a better idea of what you'll want in terms dimensions, capacity, shape and other features by then. Or you might decide that the cup you already have is just fine. :o)
frostynectar on August 14th, 2016 06:02 am (UTC)
I did read that entry and have it bookmarked, it was super helpful in answering a lot of my initial questions, thank you!

I guess I was just starting to feel defective because a lot of the advice on here didn't seem to apply to me. For example, if I let my cup open when the rim gets just past my pubic bone, the whole thing stays sitting low and crushed. I have to push my cup all the way into position / kegel it up *before* it opens in order for it to open fully.

Anyway, I think I'm starting to figure that part out but removal seems to be getting increasingly difficult each time I wear it. While bearing down, I'm able to use my thumb, middle and index fingers to grab the entire cup near the rim to fold it into a U-shape, and then start walking it down from side to side, but the seal still takes a long time to break, and I definitely feel like I'm pulling on my cervix. I have enlarged the holes (which were already a decent size), and I always push on the back of my vaginal wall to let air in.

I will just keep trying different techniques to see if I get the hang of it. If not, I may try a softer cup for easier removal, in which case I'll be back here to ask for recommendations. Thank you for your help thus far!
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on August 14th, 2016 12:43 pm (UTC)
"I have to push my cup all the way into position / kegel it up *before* it opens in order for it to open fully."
OK. It doesn't matter how you get there. You're getting to the right place.

Still having removal issues? Hang in there. Figure out what works best for you. Most of all, TAKE YOUR TIME. Don't rush the process.

Softer cup? The large Lunette is a fairly stiff one. I like that it pops easily and seals securely. Would a softer cup be easier to remove? I think that has more to do with experience and technique than the cup itself. If you get another cup, you will probably find that the Lunette is not so hard to handle after all once you get used to using the other one.

We are all different. We are all shaped a little differently. We all have different methods that work better for us than others. And we all have different tastes in length, width, shape, capacity and squishiness. Figure out what you like and don't like about your cup and use that criteria to pick your next one. Don't pick a cup just because someone else likes it. They won't be wearing it.
frostynectar on August 23rd, 2016 06:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I've been continuing to practice for the past week (I've continued using it after the end of my cycle) and it's definitely gotten easier. Removal still takes longer and is more difficult than I'd like, and my hand gets very crampy very quickly with both removal and insertion - I assume again because of the stiffness of the cup and difficulty of holding the fold closed. But otherwise it's feeling much more comfortable and fitting well.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on August 14th, 2016 06:50 pm (UTC)
Not all moms need a large cup unless you also bleed really heavily. It seems like you may possibly do fine with a small cup (though larges seem to be more dangly-cervix-friendly because they can sit around the cervix rather than simply under it). Size is more a function of how much you bleed, not how many kids you've had.

If you decide you need something longer and softer than your Lunette, I'd highly recommend the Si-Bell--it has good capacity, the bell shape is good for a dangly cervix, and the softness is "twisty vag" friendly (I have a very far off to the side cervix due to what I suspect is a large fibroid on the other side so I need to go to the extreme end of the softness scale so I don't get poked by cup parts)
frostynectar on August 23rd, 2016 06:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the suggestion! I got the large lunette because I my pre-child periods were *very* heavy (to the point where I became anemic and would faint regularly) and I assumed it would be the same case now. 11 years later, I've only had two periods so I'm not entirely sure, but they seem to be quite a bit lighter and shorter than they were. That said, the large lunette does get full within 4ish hours on the first couple of days of my cycle so I'm not sure I'll want to go smaller. But I'm definitely interested in trying something softer so I will look into the Si-Bell. :)