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I've used a softcup for a really long time and thought I would rather have a reusable cup, and making this switch may have been a big mistake on my part. I'm currently on day 3 of not being able to remove this thing, it's vacuum sealed itself to my cervix and apparently I have a long, long vagina because I can get half my hand in my junk and still just barely graze the very tippy end of the cup. Also, I appear to have a very pliable, welcoming cervix, because I'm pretty sure at least half of the cup is full of it, not just the offending liquids it's supposed to hold. I can't break the seal and am not able to see a medical professional because the two GYN professionals in the town I live in who have even heard of this product don't have appointments open until NEXT MONTH. One of these clowns is actually my provider but apparently that doesn't matter? Before I either go to an ER, local BDSM fisting expert, or accept that it's never coming out and I eventually fill my uterus with old blood until it explodes, I thought I'd turn to y'all.

Current list of failed techniques:
Relaxing, Breathing - X
Bearing Down in all recommended positions - X
Keigels - X
Warm Bath - X
Spoons - X
Crochet Hooks - X
Booze and Relaxing Music - X

I would just wait for it to fill up and break it's own seal but it leaks out blood every time I pee so that doesn't seem to be the progress I'd want to be making. Besides, the stem is lodged into my pubic bone. And apparently I have my own gravity, because over the last few days it's only made its way UP, not down. This is NOT a "dry run," (not sure why anyone would try that, honestly) I am not shy around my lady parts, I've used pretty much everything else with fine results.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever written.

UPDATE: It's OUT! My gynecologist finally seemed to get the message and had me come in today so he could extract the offending interloper. Even with those long long clippy/forceps-y things, a speculum and an assistant, it was an effort. His opinion is that it would have been nearly impossible for me to get this out on my own. Here's what happened: In his opinion, the model 2 size was too big. Even though I've had a kid, my parts are pretty small and long (knowing this, I had an instinct to get the smaller size, but didn't listen to my inner voice) so I didn't really have the inner capacity for the top of the ring to fully open in my vagina. It worked its way up to above my pubic bone, where it had more room to expand. Then, it filled like a balloon. In my understanding, it expanded to the full capacity of the wider area above my pubic bone to my cervix. That, in cooperation with a fairly decently suctioned death grip on my aforementioned cervix, was what caused the problem.
Probably, with a REALLY tight grip on the stem and a fair amount of lubrication, I may have had a shot, but doing this on my own with my limited range of reach made it pretty unlikely I'd have succeeded solo.

So here's the lesson (because I did want to learn from it so that one day I can try again): Research the options, specs and features between the different cups and try to match as best as one can based on what we know about our own bodies.

Thanks for being there, folks, it was a comfort in a weird and difficult time.
jourdanicus on June 14th, 2016 01:21 am (UTC)
Do you have a partner/bf/gf or a friend with whom you're quite comfortable who can reach in and break the seal for you? It sounds like you might just have a high cervix and short fingers (relatively). If not, it sounds like you've tried everything, and if you have good insurance you might as well go to the ER or urgent care. I think the risk of toxic shock from cups are very very low because they're medical-grade silicone, but best not to let it stay in there any longer than you absolutely have to! If an ER visit is going to incur you a big fee, maybe you can call your regular gynecologist and explain to them that it's an emergency and if they have any cancellations you need to come in ASAP.

Good luck, friend!
zsazsasmore on June 14th, 2016 01:54 am (UTC)
I am married but I'm not sure he has the stomach for it... He's great at a lot of stuff but he tried to give me a pedicure once (so sweet!) which ended in tears (oh well!) so I'll probably just go convince some medical personnel to give it a go and hope for the best. Hooray for insurance.

It's too bad, I'm not sure once I get this out how to avoid it from happening again. As strange as it may seem I don't want to give up on the idea but obviously this isn't a great outcome I should go running back into without more information on how to prevent it from happening again in the future.
citrinesunset: Fountain pencitrinesunset on June 14th, 2016 12:30 pm (UTC)
As for preventing it from happening again, i know a lot of people have trouble with the Diva because the suction-release holes are quite small. Enlarging them may help. A longer cup may also help, but it's possible the length of this one would be fine if it weren't suctioned so badly.

I could understand if you were hesitant to try the cup again for a while after this, though.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on June 14th, 2016 12:41 pm (UTC)
Yes, enlarging the anti-suction holes will probably help. They are notoriously small on Diva cups.

It sounds like you have already skimmed/read http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/
bklynmom on June 14th, 2016 01:50 am (UTC)
Sounds like you might have already tried this, but try to squat and squeeze and twist the base to release the seal. A little lube or coconut oil on your fingers might help them get in just that little bit further. Good luck!
zsazsasmore on June 14th, 2016 05:14 pm (UTC)
Maaaaaan, I really thought that was going to work...

There's a company to my town that makes natural lubes designed by and for women and their chemistry (they're awesome, check 'em out: http://goodcleanlove.com/) and although I don't normall need their products, the owner had passed me a few samples once and I'd tucked them away in a drawer and didn't think about them for awhile. But, today was the day!

It did help get further, and I really thought I had enough of a handle on it to make some progress, but it seemed to just make engaging with the cup and getting a non-slippery grip almost impossible.

Oh well, at least I know the lube is a really great product.
negas0nic on June 14th, 2016 05:40 am (UTC)
Did the spoon not reach the base? If it did, did you try using the bowl of the spoon?

If you don't wanna bail on the idea of cups altogether after this, you're probably gonna wanna get a longer cup. Diva, Lily, and iCare are all among some of the longer cups I know of. I also have a SUPER high cervix and the iCare is what I use. The iCare is also pretty cheap.

Edited at 2016-06-14 05:47 am (UTC)
zsazsasmore on June 14th, 2016 05:21 pm (UTC)
It did, I think... it was kinda hard to tell because there were what seemed like many layers of false bottoms on the way to the final destination, but I couldn't get a good angle for leverage against the rim, it just sort of stirred everything around. I was, in this action, able to get the stem to point down and out from behind my pubic bone, and I think that will help my efforts, in the end. I tried the crochet needle after that, but it's not quite long enough to have enough handle to control the business end once it's fully inserted. :/

At least I can say I won't think of spooning my morning yogurt or crocheting blankets in the same humdrum way I have grown accustomed to.

In other news, leaking blood while urinating seems to be slowing down, and I don't know if that's just because I'm getting lighter or if it's finally completely sealed and will actually fill up and disengage.

One way or another, today this thing is coming out. I have an appointment scheduled but I'll be working on self-extraction until then.

I really appreciate all your comments, at least on an emotional level it's been so so helpful to have the support.
negas0nic on June 14th, 2016 07:24 pm (UTC)
Yeah, the crochet hook advice threw me when I first heard it lol. I remember wondering how the hell anyone could reach with it and thinking I would probably need to use one of my super long afghan/tunisian crochet hooks if I was ever in that position. On the plus side, if you decide that you want to use this cup again before giving up or forking out cash for another you can use a smaller gauge chrochet hook to enlarge the suction holes! Anything from a 2.5-3.5mm would work, and all you would need to do is heat up the hook with a lighter and pass it through the holes a couple of times.
Almarë: lunarhiannon76 on June 14th, 2016 05:42 am (UTC)
Yikes, I feel your pain-- I have a long vagina and a dangly cervix located somewhere up in Canada, and it can be really hard to break the seal sometimes. I will say that I never used to bother with breaking the seal before I had an IUD, I would just bear down and pull. Anyway, now that I have to be more careful about the seal, I find that grasping the stem, bearing down a lot, wiggling the cup down slightly, then continuing to hold/gently pull the stem (just enough to keep tension on it, not enough to pull it out) with one hand while I work a finger of the other hand up there to hook the lip of the cup and break the seal is the only way I can get it out these days. I personally find that adding any kind of lube just makes things seal more, plus everything's more slippery and harder to get a grip on.

The less comfortable but occasionally necessary method is to squeeze the middle of the cup, which will cause any blood in it to spill out, so best to do over a toilet or bathtub. This never breaks the seal for me, but sometimes it does make it easier to hook the lip of the cup when my usual method fails.

Good luck!
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on June 15th, 2016 10:33 am (UTC)
haha somewhere in canada
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on June 15th, 2016 10:33 am (UTC)
ouch :(
the diva's size 1 and 2 are really similar. if you decide to get another cup, don't go for size 1.
generally any cup will get as close to your cervix as possible. that's how they work, no matter what the manual says. so my impression is that:
-your doc doesn't know much about cups
-you actually need a longer cup with a better stem (maybe luv ur body)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on June 15th, 2016 01:48 pm (UTC)
Yikes! Yes, the suction holes were to blame and you need something a good bit longer, it looks like.

If V-shaped cups are your bag (the Diva is one) try the iCare--it's shaped the same way but it's softer and has a much longer flat tab stem, something like 83mm total length with stem on the large. I actually trimmed a little stem on mine! The Victoria's Love is also something like 90mm with stem but it has a weird design with a drainage valve, which you may not be into. Good luck though!
darklyinclineddarklyinclined on June 15th, 2016 07:57 pm (UTC)
I second the LuvUrBody cup as it's really long and sounds like it will suit quite well! I had a similar problem when I first used cups, although not to this extent, but it sounds like a problem with the cup opening once it's in. To stop it suctioning to your cervix it's best to create an "air canal" of sorts by pressing against your back wall with your finger (or another clean object like a spoon, similar to how you were trying to break the seal) which will fill the cup with air and help it not be so hard to take out and empty!

Also, a shorter cup would not be a good idea as it will ride up to your cervix and then it will be even harder to reach, I had that problem with my Mooncup.

I can relate to the really high cervix as it makes using cups kinda difficult, especially the removal process cause reaching it is so hard, but I do wish you luck on the next cup you choose if you decide to try again and hope that you're okay after the ordeal!
bklynmom on June 18th, 2016 07:06 pm (UTC)
I just read your update, great that it's out!!! But, somethings odd about the explanation. All cups have to sit above the pubic bone. And there really isn't any space a cup would be in that's not part of your vagina. So it it covered your cervix, opened fully and was above the pubic bone then your vagina isn't too small. It's more about geometry. Maybe the open space is more above your cervix than below? That can happen and I could imagine a cup would tilt to cover the cervix and fit into the available space. I'm not sure what the best shape would be though, and I'm pretty sure going smaller would only make it worse as it would be shorter and still angled in a way that would make it hard to reach. That's actually the reason I'm writing this comment. I don't want the docs comment about size to push you towards a smaller cup. If I were you, I'd try a wider rim- even experiment with an instead cup to see if that worked for you. It sounds to me like you have a relatively low cervix but a long vaginal canal above it.

Again, the best thing is that you're now diva cup free! I can imagine you're not eager to try another cup anytime soon, so I hope these ideas help if you ever decide to do so in the future.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on June 18th, 2016 07:29 pm (UTC)
The OP did mention using softcups earlier, which is the generic name for the Instead. Having tried one once, I can see how it's good for a high cervix (or, really, how it'd be absolutely impossible for a lowish cervix user...it BARELY fit inside me and I have a high cervix!) And they are actually reusable if you rinse them out. But the OP may need something sturdier.