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March 27th, 2016, 07:09 pm
Still looking for my goldilocks cup, with a new revelation


Not only am I new to this page, I am totally new to LiveJournal--having just broken up with Facebook. LOL. Bear with me, as I am trying to navigate this "way of social media".

My history: five vaginal births, very heavy (nearly hemorrhaging on day 2) flow. Tried cups about 10 years ago--had no real success, and gave up until a few months ago. I first used the Keeper (that was 10 years old, but barely used). I liked the firmness okay, but it was so dried up (ha ha!) that I had to throw it out, and wasn't super happy with it. Tried the Lunette 2--okay, but struggled with folds until I found the punch fold. Still, it slipped down too much. I then got the Sckoon, thinking the width was better--but oh, my--way too soft. I could never get it to open, regardless of the folds I tried. I guess I squeezed it shut. Finally got the Super Jennie--even worse regarding the ability to open it. So far, the Lunette, turned inside out and folded properly, opens the easiest--but isn't lovely, just tolerable. It slides down as well.

I have always considered my cervix high--I have only previously been able to even touch it once. Today--during my day 2--I realized that not only is my cervix NOT high--it is dangly! This COULD explain the problem I have had with every cup--it slides out. I cannot get out of the bathroom without feeling it slide down. IF I get it in "right" on the first day--stuck way in on the first day and up and to my left--it is fine. Once I empty them--they no longer will stay in.

I was strongly thinking I'd order a FemmyCycle. I thought the bulbous shape might be a good bet, and I liked the capacity. Due to my murder-scene-aftermath on day 2, I assumed the capacity of the regular size was the way to go. Now, figuring out my dangly cervix, should I assume to go with the low-cervix model--but what happens with capacity then? At any rate, I am now feeling like going back to square one due to finding out the cervix dangles starting day 2.

Does the dangly cervix explain why the cups slide out? What are my "new" options now with this information?

Please help, and forgive if this question was asked repeatedly but I cannot find it! I am so desperate to make this work. Tampons have been giving me so much pain due to the dryness, I think. Plus, on day 2--I have to change them every 15-20 minutes.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on March 28th, 2016 01:11 am (UTC)
The "sliding down" feeling is not the cup, it's the vaginal births. Your pelvic floor muscles are, understandably, shot. (I destroyed my mom's PC muscles and was a small baby...and also the only one she could ever conceive. lol. Sorry mom) Kuradi8 always has good ideas for pelvic floor exercises! Since you like firm, how about the Yuuki Classic?
seaweed88seaweed88 on March 28th, 2016 01:46 am (UTC)
Yuuki large has good capacity, but I don't think it would be as good for a dangly cervix because it's more V at the bottom than bell shaped. Maybe a Lena size large?
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on March 28th, 2016 03:33 am (UTC)
That's a good thought. I certainly found the Lena too firm, but the OP may not find it firm enough for her taste. But I can't think of anything firmer that's also that bell-shaped. I went right to the Yuuki due to the firmness. An XL Meluna Sport is also an option.
heidiwashereheidiwashere on March 28th, 2016 01:57 am (UTC)
I was thinking the slippage might be due to my cervix dropping on day 2, since the first day is usually okay?

And an update--a few hours without using a cup--I cannot feel my cervix again.

This may be a bit graphic, but since we are all talking about this (LOL), when I felt my cervix, it was hanging down, but I still felt like I could stick my finger inside (at least part way). But I felt like what else could that be inside? I am pretty comfortable feeling around, so it wasn't exactly shocking, but I had never felt that before. At any rate, I tried now and couldn't feel anything, and was able to stick a cup up inside. However, this has been within a half hour, and I am not bending over or cleaning or whatever, so I don't feel the cup. It feels way up there now.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 28th, 2016 12:24 pm (UTC)
I agree with PQN that your pelvic floor muscle is too weak to hold any brand of cup in. There is a paragraph about strengthening it at the end of http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ Talk to your Gyno and/or Google Kegel exercises for more information.

I'm not affiliated with the seller, it's just a good price:
heidiwashere: pic#126020360heidiwashere on March 28th, 2016 12:29 pm (UTC)
That is super discouraging--I have been doing kegal exercises, so to think I am stuck with tampons is disheartening. I can go back to sponges, but didn't love the messiness in public restrooms.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 28th, 2016 12:49 pm (UTC)
No, don't be discouraged. Just like any muscle, a PC can be toned. And it doesn't take much effort to start seeing results. I read that most people *think* they're kegeling but they're actually flexing/working the wrong muscle(s.) If you haven't yet, try using Ben Wa balls. They target the right muscle(s.)

Since you have such a heavy flow, the Super Jennie is probably your best bet in terms of capacity in a short cup. There are a couple of paragraphs about insertion and getting cups to open in that link I sent. See if the advice in there helps.

As for a FemmyCycle, the difference between the regular and the low cervix is only the shape of the stem. There is no difference in the cup itself. If you want to buy yet another cup, then go ahead. Maybe you're right that the bulbous shape will help.
heidiwashere: pic#126020360heidiwashere on March 28th, 2016 01:09 pm (UTC)
I just got the (regular) Super Jennie--it is too soft and stays flat. The Sckoon was also this issue. The Keeper was best (in staying open), and the Lunette 2 was reasonably good.

Admittedly, the Ben Wa balls seem a bit "weird" to me--when reading about them, they were used for masturbation. Ha ha. But if they help to strengthen...

What gives on this point, though: Friday afternoon my cycle started--not bad. Technically, Saturday was day 2 (but first FULL day) and heavy but not my worst, and cup stayed in. Yesterday was the day I could not keep a cup in, found my cervix dangling, and gave up and just used a pad. Not a heavy flow at all--but maybe because I used a tampon at church, due to cup slippage. Using tampons usually creates a lengthy, confusing period, so I could start again today (and out of pads!). But After NOT using a cup most of yesterday, I couldn't feel my cervix by evening. I tried a cup again, but when I started moving around, I was able to feel it. Technically, I have never had one fall out--but fall way low. What is up with the cervix--it acts like the cup pulls it down--never before in my life have I ever felt it.

Regarding the Femmycycle, I read how a posted here felt it left a mark in her dangly cervix (she was blind, and probably paid more attention with how she felt things than I do). Has anybody else felt like it kind of left a "band" mark on their dangly cervix?

Thanks for all the help--I have nobody I know to ask about this.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 28th, 2016 01:23 pm (UTC)
The Super Jennie is a lot softer than the Keeper that you learned with and also a little softer than the Lunette that you think is OK. Because it's softer, it takes a little more coaxing to get it to open. Read the paragraphs about insertion at the link I gave you and see if the advice helps you. You need to adjust your technique.

Look at photos of the FemmyCycle. It has a very wide body compared to other brands but the opening on top is small -- 36mm, which when compared to cervical caps should be large enough to accommodate even "the largest" cervix.

As for Ben Wa Balls -- yes, some of the large (almost ping pong ball sized) ones are tethered together and work best when you push/pull them, either with a partner or alone. The little steel ones I linked to work hands-free. No interaction required.
heidiwashere: pic#126020360heidiwashere on March 28th, 2016 01:44 pm (UTC)
Yes, I did read that link--thank you SO much. I will try to re-read the part on insertion. Of course, this changes on the dry-runs if my cervix moves (I had heard it did sometimes, but had not realized it was happening so drastically for me).

So, regarding the Femmycycle, to clarify, are you stating that even with the narrower top, it should be able to accommodate cervixes without leaving a band mark--that perhaps that was a fluke with the poster who stated that? Just trying to figure that out.

I will probably order the Ben Wa balls this afternoon. Lol.

So--what I gather to be my "goldilocks" will be the cup that is firm, stays in (after working harder to tighten my cervix and the upper walls--???--since my walls are so tight I cannot get some cups to open), can accommodate my sometimes dangly cervix, and preferably higher capacity, although with the dangling, I might have to forego that since my cervix may take up room. Is that your suggestion?
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 28th, 2016 02:45 pm (UTC)
"since my walls are so tight I cannot get some cups to open"
No, it's probably due to lack of air, not tight vaginal walls. Get air into your cup to open it fully while it's still down low, then push it up into place.
Kathlynekathlyne on March 30th, 2016 10:21 pm (UTC)
I totally agree with kuradi on this one. You need air. You mentioned in another comment that you bear down as you push the cup up. That seems counterproductive. Pull your muscles up instead of bearing down, our just relax them as you push the cup up. Sounds like you just need more practice with insertion/opening.
heidiwashereheidiwashere on March 31st, 2016 09:04 pm (UTC)
The reason I bear down while pushing it up was that somebody on the FB group gave the link to the video that suggested that--doing that is the ONLY time the cup stays in, although it usually only works the first day. And this is after trying different folds.

With the Lunette--the only one that works marginally well (I still need pads)--if I do the punch down fold, then do the bear down while inserting, I have the most success.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 28th, 2016 01:08 pm (UTC)
My other thought was that it's not just your cervix dangling. Because you have such a heavy flow on your worst days, it could be that (perfectly normal) your uterus is so large and heavy/full that it hangs low in your abdominal cavity. That's what's pushing down -- and you'd need a "PC of Steel" to be able to push back. Would kegeling and other exercises help? They wouldn't hurt but they might not help much either.

I don't think it warrants a special trip but it might be worth mentioning to your Gyno next time you go. Bring your cup(s) along to help explain but because most doctors don't know about cups, don't be surprised if yours isn't enthusiastic about their use. Many doctors take the attitude that if they didn't measure and prescribe a cup for you (like a diaphragm or cervical cap) then it's a silly gizmo that you're a fool for using. (My last Gyno thought that. My current one thinks cups are awesome.)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on March 28th, 2016 04:31 pm (UTC)
If you decide that the SuperJennie is your best bet for capacity, here are some folds that might help with popping open. I SWEAR by the labial fold for all my extremely soft cups! I rarely have any issue with my cups failing to pop open now:
(As a general rule, the more complex the fold, the more easily it will pop open. A lot of users report that punchdown folds don't always pop back up and they have a hard time feeling the rim enough to know if it has popped back up)
heidiwashere: pic#126020360heidiwashere on March 28th, 2016 07:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the idea. Usually, I can actually get them to open, but they stay flat because my walls are apparently restricting them from opening fully. I understand the person suggesting they need air in there, but even if I can get it to open lower, and it seems air got in, it still folds in half after I bear down and push it up. But I will try more of the folds--thanks for the idea to keep trying.
heidiwashere: pic#126020360heidiwashere on March 29th, 2016 11:33 am (UTC)
Nope--I can make the labial fold, but it won't pop open, either. It kind of unfolds, but sits kitty-wampus/helter skelter askew then.

I also did order the Ben wa balls--that seems to be my last hope. While some days during my period the Lunette 2 stays up and us "less flattened" inside, it is the luck of the draw about either. I really wanted this to work, but tired of the frustration. Due to all my attempts Sunday to get any of them to actually unfold at least partially, and to stay in, I am sore.