Log in

No account? Create an account
Hi everyone. Just wanted to share a story that might help some of you who are worried about being "tight" down there. This is a story about my experience with mild vaginismus and how, for some inexplicable reason, my small MeLuna (soft) helped me get over it.

I never used to have problems with putting things in there. I lost my virginity at 20 (I'm 25 now) and except for the first time (I made the stupid mistake of not spreading my legs out wide enough), there was never any pain. Medical exams, transvaginal sonograms, no problems, no pain.

A year after I lost my virginity I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and I was prescribed oral BC to help suppress androgens (or something like that). While my body was adjusting, I became rather dry down there. Made the mistake of thinking sex wasn't going to be any different while I was dry down there (I blame my shitty sex ed), and quite frankly, it hurt like a bitch. Boyfriend pulled out, I curled up into a ball shaking. And after that incident, I couldn't get anything in without any pain. My OB-GYN was surprised that physical exams were now an ordeal, when before I didn't even feel my Pap smear. We'd initially chalked it up to my body adjusting to the pill, but when, months later, I was already lubricating normally, PIV sex was impossible and physical exams were hell. So I was told that I might have secondary vaginismus.I was told to try using dilators or even my fingers, but to be honest I was just too terrified to admit that I had this problem. I didn't want to believe that my vag had some sort of "defect". (Note: PLEASE DO NOT HAVE THE SAME MINDSET AS ME, YOUR VAG DOES NOT HAVE A DEFECT IT IS A WONDERFUL THING)

The boyfriend was really understanding, and didn't really mind sticking to all the alternatives to PIV sex, but I am a stupid person and I would tell him to put it in, treating vaginismus like some sort of challenge rather than a physical problem. That left me in pain for days, and back to square one, terrified of my own vag.

At this point I had also quit using tampons, which brought about its own set of problems; pads irritated my skin, giving me what looked like either large pimples or small boils that needed to be drained.

In other words, I was miserable.

By the Christmas holidays last year I had had it with pads. Being stubborn as a mule I tried an applicator tampon without doing preps of any sort, and I just couldn't get it in.

Frustrated, I vented to my friend. She then told me that she switched from tampons to a cup, and that because she got the smallest, squishiest cup, she had an easier time putting it in and getting it out compared to a tampon. She said it was even easier to get it in compared to her own finger, because it was soft and her fingers are rather bony around the knuckles and she has long nails.

I was skeptical, given how large it looked and how expensive it seemed to be compared to pads or tampons. But I was also desperate. So I ordered the smallest, softest (and cheapest) cup available in my country--the small, soft MeLuna--and waited for the delivery. And funnily enough, it came on day 1 of my period.

During the waiting game, I watched practically all of Bree's (preciousstarspads) videos. (Side note: my pride took a bit of a hit because this teenager knew so much more about her vag, while I, a 25-year-old, knew jack shit other than the fact that I couldn't put anything in without pain). With a lot of lube and quite a bit of pain, I managed to find my cervix using my middle finger, and stupidly I thought that that was enough to ready me for my cup.

The cup arrived, and I was intimidated as fuck. But I did the punch down fold, slathered that little fucker in lube, put it by the entrance, held my breath and...

...it just slid in. No problems, no pain, and my face essentially looking like the "confused Nick Young" meme. After nearly four years of being unable to get even my fingers in, this thing just slid in without problems. I do think it's because it really was that much softer than anything else I tried to put up there. I couldn't get a finger to swipe my cup, though, so this was all one big trust exercise.

So I did one cycle with it. Getting it in was always easy, getting it out a little more painful but not so bad. And by the fourth day, I could get a couple fingers in to move the cup around! It was a vagina miracle or something.

And because I'm never one to leave well enough alone, after my period ended I tried to have PIV sex with my boyfriend. AND IT WAS PAIN FREE. No amount of capslock can express the joy I felt at that moment.

And to cap everything off, I went to my OB-GYN last week for a Pap, and I felt nothing! Again, it's a vag miracle.

So to anyone who thinks they might be too tight down there, or to anyone who's experienced pain because of tampons or sex or whatever, cups are wonderfully soft and gentle on you, and you really should give them a go. There are many reasons to try them out, and I think this is another to add on the list.

Of course, I'm not a medical professional, and every person's body is different. And when it comes to vaginismus, I'm a really bad example because I completely disregarded my doctor's advice to try dilators because I'm an idiot with too much pride. But if you do have this problem, let me tell you that I used a cup with no pain problems. Perhaps you can too!
elisamba on February 15th, 2016 09:07 pm (UTC)
Well that's a pretty amazing story! And I remember vaginismus coming up in past posts, so your experience may very well help someone along the line. Thanks for sharing.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on February 16th, 2016 03:16 pm (UTC)
I'm happy that you have conquered your vaginismus but I'd like to caution others reading your account that it wasn't the brand and size that made you successful. It was the fact that your cup happened to have fit you "just right" -- and that they should do some self-exploration and research to pick a cup that will fit them "just right" too.

Bad Analogy: Just because you overcame your fear of the ocean and learned to surf wearing a size-5 bathing suit doesn't mean that a size-5 suit will fit someone else and give them the same results.

And returning to cups...
Your small Meluna happens to be a narrow but "very short" cup. If someone with vaginismus a long vagina were to finally get it in successfully, it could prove to be very hard to reach and therefore very difficult to remove. Such an unpleasant experience could make that person's vaginismus even worse by adding frustration and fear to the equation.

My advice to those in the same boat: Just because you are experiencing difficulties with your vagina doesn't mean you should aim for the teeniest cup made. Don't be afraid of length if you think you'll need it. Look at the size charts, compare cup dimensions and make your best educated guess about which you think will fit you best.

Edited to fix clumsy wording.

Edited at 2016-02-16 03:19 pm (UTC)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on February 25th, 2016 10:43 pm (UTC)
Yes, this! I have brittle skin around my entrance, probably due to scar tissue from a number of severe yeast infections in college, and getting a Meluna was the biggest mistake of my life. It took 3 hours to remove one because, as I found out, I have a very high cervix. But with the longest and softest cups on the market I have been able to use cups successfully.
gigglygecko on February 22nd, 2016 06:30 am (UTC)
I am really happy that you found your cup helped to cure you of vaginismus. I have also suffered from it, but had a more severe version of primary vaginismus. It was much more difficult to overcome because it was most likely caused by childhood sexual abuse.

I bought my first cup (DivaCup) when trying to overcome vaginismus by myself (no gynaecologist knew what it was, or gave me any helpful advice beyond `buy dilators and get drunk'). I also bought my second cup (fleurcup) when I had made some progress and still could not insert it until I had overcome vaginismus via other means.

However, I do think the menstrual cup helped me get more familiar with my body and a lot more comfortable with inserting things. It probably helped me taking my last few steps towards completely overcoming it, but I would never have recommended a cup to myself when I first discovered I had primary vaginismus.

I am thinking of making another thread here about what DID help me immensely in overcoming vaginismus, for anyone who wants to try cups but is starting in the position I was in.