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Hello everyone, I figured I should finally join the forum and figure out this menstrual cup thing...
I bought the DivaCup sometime last spring in the hopes that it'd be more comfortable and thrifty compared to pads, and under the impression it fit most women, buuuuuuuut I've only managed to get it in once and it was very uncomfortable! The stem (trimmed) was very pokey and irritating internally, even though everything seemed in the right place. I've tried multiple times, on cycle or not, to get that sucker up there again, but it's a no go...I can't seem to find a way to fold it, a position to get into, or relax enough for it to even go farther in than the rim. Even with lube! This isn't exceptionally unusual since I have difficulty with sex too...(mind you, I'm familiar with my insides and can locate my cervix and whatnot).

I'm curious if a softer/more flexible cup would be better? I'm told that the DivaCup is actually one of the larger and firmer cups, which doesn't seem like it sits well with my anatomy or nervous disposition. Maybe someone can recommend a cup that'd be better suited? I thought the Lunette cup might be better, it sounds softer and the stem was supposedly less pokey...but they're expensive and I want to find the best potential option first. Any advice, anyone?
 
 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
 
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on December 31st, 2015 02:19 am (UTC)
No, it's not the cup, it's you. Figure out how to use the one you have first before buying another. The Diva is actually a fairly soft cup and it's not "large" but it is long -- which, even if it turns out it's too long for you, at least it won't migrate up out of reach.

Skim/Read http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ and follow the link to the Virgin's Guide to Cups. Even though you're not, it will give you helpful hints to relax. (A different cup isn't going to change how much/little you relax.) And enlarge the anti-suction holes in your Diva. They will help with popping open and with breaking the seal for removal.

Finally, try a little water-based lube.
foxfire9 on December 31st, 2015 04:54 am (UTC)
Although I disagree that a different cup wouldn't change relaxation a bit, fair enough to say I should keep attempting to make some progress with this one.
jourdanicus on December 31st, 2015 06:14 am (UTC)
I can see where kuradi8 is coming from, but I personally wouldn't stop you from trying a different once if that's what you really want. If you think that having a cup that you KNOW is softer might help you, psychologically, to get it in, then go ahead and try another one. I myself have a Moon Cup and a Lunette Cup. The Moon Cup is pretty firm, and even though I've been using cups for 2+ years now it's sometimes still a little hard to get in. The Lunette Cup is super soft and easy to squish in and out, but kinda leaks more often because it doesn't open as reliably as a firmer cup. However, using the Lunette Cup for several months made me more comfortable with using the Moon Cup even despite its firmness.

I would recommend looking around here for cup comparisons, because there's a lot of info on size and firmness, and that will give you a better idea of whether you want to try another one and if so, which.

Edited at 2015-12-31 06:15 am (UTC)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on December 31st, 2015 05:11 am (UTC)
Well, to be fair, if any cup is going to be too long in the body for many users, it's the Diva. 57mm in the body alone simply can't fit inside you if you have a low cervix that's less than 57mm from your entrance. It'll always feel like it's falling out. However, in your case it might well be that your PC muscles are flipping out and clenching due to anticipating the pain.

As a hack, I might recommend rubbing some baby Orajel (the stuff used for teething) around the entrance for a bit before you start fiddling around with insertion/removal. I needed to use it for several cycles before everything got smoothed out (I think in my case, there were some thick hymen bits in the way)
bklynmom on December 31st, 2015 02:48 pm (UTC)
Have to say I'm seconding the vote for working with it more too. Sounds to me like you're struggling with angle if you can get the rim in bot nothing else. Maybe try angling more downwards and back towards your anus to get past your pubic bone? All the stretch in your vagina is away from your pubic bone so applying pressure away from your urethra and waiting a bit until you feel your muscles relax may help. Or turn the cup a quarter turn to change the way the largest diameter is angled. I think the Diva is pretty soft so moving to a softer cup won't likely help with this issue. Also, remember you can flip it inside out if it seems too long. But I'd try to get it in right side out first since you might need the stem for removal once you get it in far enough. Don't give up though, once you get past the learning curve it'll be worth it.

Would you say more about your issues with sex? Maybe there's something more specific going on that we could give advice on if you expand a bit.
Kengwen: grasshopper shoekengwen on January 1st, 2016 03:36 am (UTC)
You might try some "Instead" cups (not sure about where you live but where I live the supermarket had some, they're "disposable" cups - shaped very differently from the reusable ones (though I've reused them also, limitedly) but can get you a bit used to the insertion angle etc.