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28 December 2014 @ 04:39 pm
I'm soooooooo frustrated right now. This is my second cycle trying to use a cup and I cannot get it to stop leaking. I'm about to give up and put a tampon in. I've read all the suggestions and tried what I can. I am VERY overweight and have a big belly so things like reaching up to find my cervix and sliding a finger around the rim to pop it open just aren't possible (though I do try to the best of my ability). I know I do not have a low cervix. I have a Divacup Size 2 and both the regular and low cervix Femmycycle. I got the Femmycycle specifically because it said the cup doesn't have to open all the way. I follow the instructions to the letter and still it leaks like crazy. I've tried twisting them around. I've tried pulling it out almost all the way and pushing it back in. I've tried different folds (though I'm limited with the Femmycycle). I've tried just leaving it out and trying again later. I'm SO upset. I really want this to work. When I did my trial runs with my Femmycycle I was so excited because I had no difficulty inserting it and it was so comfortable. I wanted it to work SO badly. Last night I was constantly in the bathroom trying to fix things, which was quite a hassle considering I'm a nurse and we were short staffed last night. I don't know what else to do. I'm at my wits end here.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on December 29th, 2014 12:53 am (UTC)
I used a Femmycycle for the better part of a year and the trick is to make sure that at least the top of the cup is fully open around your cervix--which may not be possible if you can't reach up inside to feel for that. This probably explains why you're leaking, because most of the time, unless you fiddle with it to get the top of it opened, the top will stay folded just as the bottom does. I learned this the hard way a couple times. Since you seem to like soft cups, I might recommend the Si-Bell, since it's got a long stem, it's very soft (just as much as the Femmy), but pops open easily due to its special design. Once I started bleeding more heavily and sprung for a large Si-Bell, then realized the Femmy and my new Si-Bell had the same capacity, I sold the Femmy because there would simply be no good way to deal with it in a public bathroom, having to fiddle to pop it open, etc. (Glossy silicone also sticks to my skin like none other, and it's impossible to insert without lube, but the peachskin silicone works better for me for some reason.)
rcsprauerrcsprauer on December 29th, 2014 04:43 am (UTC)
Yeah I tried really hard to feel up there and make sure the rim was open and all I ended up doing was causing the damned thing to come out. It's been ridiculously frustrating. I would love to be able to try a different cup but the hubs says no d/t financial constraints. I HAVE to find a way to make the Diva and Femmy work for me. I know it's possible and I'm not a quitter but it's really disheartening at this point.
yell14 on December 29th, 2014 01:39 am (UTC)

What I Found That Works For Me. Is I use A 7 Fold N Make Sure That The Whole Rim Is Inside Passed Pubic Bone N Unfolded. Now I Dont Get That Popping Sound, So I Tug On It N If It Comes Out Easy Then It Means That It Hasnt Sealed. What Ive Started Doing Is I Push The Cup In N Make Sure The Rim Is Unfolded, Im Not Worried About It Opening At This Stage, Then I Relac My Pelvic Floor Muscles N Push The Cup In Further Then Grab The Stem N Contract Pelvic Floor N It Will Feel Like Cup Is Being Taken In Further. Once Im Up In Standing Position I Do This A few Times N The Cup Seems To Get To where It Needs To B n Seals in place.
I hope u find a way that will work for u, cuz cups have changed my whole period experience. But i totally understand ur frustrations. Good luck

Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on December 29th, 2014 03:25 am (UTC)
I also struggled with terrible leakage at first. And then a couple of stray pieces of advice changed everything for me. I have included them -- along with a lot of others -- in this: http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ Skim/Read through it and I hope you will find the magical piece of advice that will suddenly make cups work perfectly for you.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on December 29th, 2014 03:51 am (UTC)
I think the general advice will work if she's also having issues with the Diva but to me it sounds like her problem is Femmycycle-specific (and with her build preventing her from reaching adequately into her cervix, it may well be that she simply needs a different type of cup)
rcsprauerrcsprauer on December 29th, 2014 04:45 am (UTC)
I actually read your post when I was first having leak issues with the Diva but thank you for the suggestion. At this point I'm convinced there is something about ME that is making these cups leak and I just cannot figure it out.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on December 29th, 2014 02:00 pm (UTC)
3 things did it for me:

1. Length. For me, the Diva was too long. It would shift, leak and often feel like it was poking out. Things got better when I learned the inside out trick to shorten it. And then I bought other shorter cups too but still occasionally use the inside out Diva.

2. Unfolding. Turning the cup (whether the Diva or other) so the folded part faced the other way made all the difference in the world in getting it to pop open.

3. Aiming. I am one of those whose cervix is closer to my belly button than tailbone. I insert my cup so the rim is just beyond my pubic bone. I let it open fully and then I give the base/stem a healthy nudge rearward to aim the opening toward my navel as I give it a boost and Kegel it up into place.

Will any of these 3 things help you too? I dunno. I hope so.

I guess the important question that we haven't asked yet is what kind of leakage are you having? None getting into the cup at all? Overflowing before it's full? Or that darned "residual slobber?"
Kathlynekathlyne on December 29th, 2014 05:35 pm (UTC)
I know how frustrating it can be. Take a deep breath. Leaking doesn't mean there is something wrong with YOU.

Please let us know what kind of leaking you are having. Right away? Anything in the cup? Nothing in the cup?

I had terrible problems with the diva. For me I think it was the tiny holes. Have you tried enlarging them?

My other problem was my dangly cervix that points off to the side. I was either pushing the cup past my cervix or my cervix was taking up room in the cup. Once I learned which way to point my cup things got much better.

Consider mc_sales as an option to get cups for less. I love my large fleur cup, but I know it's not for everyone.
rcsprauerrcsprauer on December 30th, 2014 06:41 am (UTC)
Some times it catches some of the flow, other times not a thing. It's definitely NOT residual and the problem is equal with both cups.
elle2013elle2013 on December 30th, 2014 03:00 am (UTC)
Don't get discouraged - using cups is worth enduring the learning curve.

To be fair, I think you've picked the two most difficult cups to use - no joke. Before I'd ever even read your post, if you'd asked me to name the two cups that give users the most problems, I'd probably have said the Diva and the Femmycycle.

I know you said purchasing more cups is cost-prohibitive. Maybe consider selling one of yours to buy another, or trading with someone? Ordinarily I'd never recommend switching cups till you've gotten a good handle on insertion (pun intended), but it sounds like these really may not ever work super well for you.

Personally, I find cups with thicker or more "springy" rims easiest to use and position, thus my love affair with the LadyCup. Since you mentioned that reaching/probing/positioning is an issue, I'd definitely recommend the LadyCup or something similar, since the thick rim makes it SUPER easy to pop open. You can pretty much get the top rim inside, hear the "thunk" as it pops open, and scoot it up by pushing on the bottom; as long as you can feel around the sides a bit to make sure you haven't missed your cervix, you should be fine. I bought a Femmycycle to try, and after three cycles, I'm back to Old Faithful (LadyCup). When I wrote my Femmycycle review, I think I even mentioned that it took some extra "rooting around" to get it positioned - definitely not easy.

Hang in there!
rcsprauerrcsprauer on December 30th, 2014 06:43 am (UTC)
OF COURSE I would pick the two most difficult cups! Lol. That just seems to be my SOP.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on December 30th, 2014 02:35 pm (UTC)
Ha! if you're looking to sell/trade one first I might go with the Femmy--I think that will sell faster for you, because mc-sales is usually overrun with Divas (they are easier to get because they're pretty widely available in stores)