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Hello everyone,

I am having trouble understanding how to find my cervix, how to choose a cup size and whether the cup I have is the right size for me. I am 25 and a virgin and I have the small diva cup. I've never, ever used tampons. I am currently on my 4th cycle of trying to use the cup. I still struggle to insert and remove it smoothly (I spend at least ten minutes in the bathtub for both, every time and can't imagine doing it on the toilet) but have come a long ways from the beginning when I was afraid to attempt it!

So, first, the cervix. I can stick a finger in less than half way before I come across some big blob-like thing. Is this my (low and/or dangly) cervix? It seems to take up lot of space and is fairly squishy. If it's not my cervix, how do I find my cervix?

Second, the cup size. I can usually insert the diva cup completely but sometimes the stem bothers me a little bit. Sometimes, I cannot insert the diva cup completely, only half way, for example today on the second day of my cycle: I removed it after it leaked when only half full and when I tried to re-insert it just kept refusing to go inside all the way. It would not pop open even when half inserted and in fact it even deflated and seemed to grab onto something (my cervix??) and pulled/felt a little funny when I removed the deflated cup. Was it pulling my cervix? Did it leak when it was half full because my cervix was taking up space in it? It was quite awkward that I'm not even wearing it right now - I resorted to using a pad!

So, how do I choose a right sized cup based on this information? Sometimes I only experience residual leakage but other times there is a lot more leaking. Sometimes the diva cup inserts fine, other times it doesn't. Sometimes the stem bothers me and other times it doesn't...I tried inserting the diva cup "inside out" but it didn't go inside comfortably.

Do I need a cup that is shorter? wider? Longer? longer stem? If my cervix is indeed low or dangly, and I got a shorter cup, wouldn't that mean my cervix would take up more room in it? Just so confused, any help would be appreciated. I get so much out of all your posts and answers and hope you can help me. Thank you so much!!

P.S. i live in Canada, so any recommendations for cups that can be purchased here or without shipping fees online would be greatly appreciated. THANK YOU!
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on November 27th, 2014 06:11 am (UTC)
Sounds like your cervix is low. Good news is, almost any other cup is shorter than the Diva. It also seems like your cervix jumps around a lot (which is totally normal) so you might want to have more than one cup so you can adjust to those days. Either way, the Diva is one of the longest cups out there (which is why I think it's a crappy starter cup)...the Meluna is one of the best brands for low cervixes and comes in a variety of colors, firmnesses and stem styles, so you can mix and match and customize what you'd like, and they are pretty cheap. For good deals from other members check out this community: http://mc-sales.livejournal.com/

ohelloflo on November 27th, 2014 02:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your reply!

What size Meluna would you recommend? My flow is heavier in the first couple days and much lighter afterwards.

I'm worried if I get a cup that is too small or short, I won't be able to "reach" it to take it out. I have a hard enough time getting the Diva cup out even though I can feel the stem without any effort, but because the cup was so long, pushing it out far enough to get a grip and getting the seal to release from near the top of the cup was always difficult for me.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on November 27th, 2014 02:49 pm (UTC)
I'm not a scholar on Melunas because I have the World Trade Cervix but pretty much any of the regular ones other than the XL should be fine (the XL would be a bit long for you I think). If you can get only half a finger in and your fingers aren't crazy long you might even like the Meluna Shortys, but they may not have the capacity you want.
blauwemaan on November 27th, 2014 06:41 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, the World Trade Cervix, I am going to remember that! :-)

How about a sckoon for ohelloflo? That one has a great capacity but is shorter that the Diva and has a soft flexible stem (which is useless if you have a high cervix like me, I sometimes even have trouble reaching for my Diva!)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on November 27th, 2014 10:24 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that's a possibility as well--again, no firsthand experience with that one here because after the Meluna I knew to go for the longest possible cups (Lily, Si-Bell, Femmycycle, and for my "low" cervix days, the Rainbow, which is as long as the Diva but softer and actually sort of has suction holes)
ohelloflo on November 28th, 2014 12:01 am (UTC)
Lol yea the diva cup has nearly microscopic suction holes...getting it out was a nightmare the first time but I tried making them a tiny bit bigger and I think it helped...a bit...

How would the width affect fit and leakage? Diva cup is about 43 mm wide, and I don't know if I need a wider or narrower cup or if that measurement even makes any difference.

Also, I read that Melunas are not made of medical grade silicone as most other cups are; does anyone know about the relative safety and durability of thermoplastic elastomers compared to silicone?

One last question, what is the point of the stem? I know it helps 'find' the cup when it's inside you, but other than that does it help with removal if pulling it isn't supposed to affect the seal? Why do some cups have such long stems and others have rings and others have short stems?

Edited at 2014-11-28 12:03 am (UTC)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on November 28th, 2014 01:45 am (UTC)
The only circumstance in which width seems to affect the reachability of a cup is that if it's sitting around your cervix because it's wider and has enough room (like (o) ) rather than sitting under it, the cup may sit higher and be harder to grab. But that might work in your favor if your cervix is so low that many cups feel like they are about to fall out of you. Getting a wider cup, then, might buy you a few millimeters of extra space.

For the brief time I had the Melunas, the TPE felt very secure--I have seen users here say that it's not as "springy" as silicone so it will mold more to your shape and look more oval for longer after you remove the cup, but it's used in baby bottles and such, so it is apparently safe for babies' mucous membranes to have extended contact with it :) I don't boil any of my cups unless I am about to resell them (I use alcohol and peroxide) but the Melunas boiled briefly without a problem.

For me, with soft cups, the stem allows me to pull the cup down because the cups I use are soft enough that they don't create serious suction and they just pull right down when I tug on the stem. I would never be able to reach the base of any cup without very generous stems. Other than that, stem/ring/grabby thing type depends on your preference. Some who have cervixes that sit to one side or the other don't like to have a long stem because if the cup sits crookedly inside you (like mine often do; my cervix is way off to the left) the end of the stem will poke the opposite side of your vaginal wall. So for those people a ring or nub stem is most comfortable. Since I only choose supersoft cups I don't feel the pokeyness of their stems.

Surprisingly I haven't seen Kuradi8 in here but she has a great page with a lot of commonly asked questions you might not have known you had, so feel freee to check it out: http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/

Edited at 2014-11-28 01:47 am (UTC)
sweetrumbellesweetrumbelle on November 28th, 2014 03:06 am (UTC)
The sckoon is a very very soft cup (it's softer than the Diva cup) and for me it's tricky to insert when I'm on the toilet (I have a high cervix.)

But it's great for removing.