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16 November 2014 @ 10:46 am
I started reading about menstrual cups online a while ago and I thought they sounded great! I hate having to change disposal products every lunch time at school and sanitary towels are quite uncomfortable. I had a few worries and questions though...

I'm a 14 year old virgin and I read that using a menstrual cup can break your hymen and I was just wondering if that was true.

I've never used tampons because putting things inside my vagina is a really scary thought. Is there anyone else who has this fear? Am I just being silly? I also heard that you should find your cervix so that you buy the right size, but I'm also a bit worried about "feeling around" for it.
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on November 16th, 2014 10:55 am (UTC)
You're not silly at all! Beginning to explore your own body is a big step, especially if you live in a culture that discourages it. Using a cup can break your hymen (it doesn't always), just like a lot of other things you might do - dance, gymnastics, horseback riding, and so on. However, that does not mean you're not a virgin anymore! All it means is that your body has changed a little bit, and a pretty pointless little bit of tissue is gone. The bigger problem is feeling for your cervix. If you're scared by tampons and don't want to feel for your cervix, cups are probably going to be a big leap for you psychologically. Even if you skip feeling for your cervix, you're still going to be sticking your fingers in your vagina a couple times a day to insert and empty your cup. My advice would be to not purchase a cup right now. Instead, start to explore your body in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you, and work up to being able to try and find your cervix. That will make your chances of success with a cup much better, since you won't be uncomfortable when you have to insert or remove it.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on November 16th, 2014 08:27 pm (UTC)
Ditto to all the above! Whether or not you want to keep your hymen intact might depend on your religious views about virginity, if you have any (a Muslim friend mentioned that they do not wear anything but pads until marriage, but this is the only religion I'm aware of that has anything to say about hymens. Most other religions stipulate that the swiping of the V card requires the, um, assistance of, uh, the male anatomy to take care of that ;) ). Sports and other activities often naturally destroy the hymen and some girls are born without one. You also have to have at least a bit of a tear in it to let blood out when your periods start (I've heard at least one gross story about this poor girl whose hymen remained totally intact, and about a week's worth of her first period backed up until the pressure was too much--her hymen popped and it was like shark week! But she never had that problem again).
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on November 16th, 2014 08:30 pm (UTC)
Haha, wow that's really gross :)
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on November 17th, 2014 02:21 pm (UTC)
I know right! Poor thing was only like 11 as well. I think I'd be traumatized, lol.
titaniumtrinitytitaniumtrinity on November 16th, 2014 08:54 pm (UTC)
As far as I know, It's not so much that there's a tear, just that for most people the hymen covers only part of the opening. But yeah, sometimes it covers all of it, which is rare.
itisteatime on December 11th, 2016 06:40 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to say that it is not the view of all Muslims that one must keep their hymen intact in order to stay a virgin. In fact there are reports of blocking ones flow with cotton is allowed/recommended.

For more info, read this Q&A: https://islamqa.info/en/10559
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on November 16th, 2014 02:06 pm (UTC)
Skim/Read this http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ and follow the link to the Virgins Guide to Cups that it contains.

If you are "extremely worried" and putting things into your vagina is "scary" then don't do it yet -- and that includes cups.

Edited at 2014-11-16 02:08 pm (UTC)
titaniumtrinitytitaniumtrinity on November 16th, 2014 07:10 pm (UTC)
Hymens are complicated, they vary a lot from person to person, and most people don't understand them that well. Rather than just breaking once, it usually gradually stretches and wears away over a period of time. And cups do contribute to that, more so than tampons because it is a wider thing to insert, so you'll need to find out for yourself weather or not you're ok with that or not. I'm glad you're interested in cups, and I agree with the other posters that you should spend some time getting comfortable "feeling around" and if you decide that using a cup might be for you, we will all be here to help :)

I almost want to recommend tampons because a box of them is pretty cheap and putting one in requires less feeling around than a cup does. But there are other things that make them tricky: the string can be uncomfortable, removing them can be painful if you have a light flow, and there's a risk of infection from leaving them in too long. Hmmm. I'd definitely recommend exploring your body a little bit, and don't try to jump into anything you think you're not ready for. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, so if you decide to try something new, you can consider tampons as kind of an in between option between pads and cups. But if you just really never want to use tampons, that's fine. I think a lot of posters on here feel that way!
dhrachthdhrachth on November 16th, 2014 07:52 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to add to what the other posters said regarding tampons. If you do try tampons first and find them painful or uncomfortable, don't just automatically write off menstrual cups. I always found tampons unbearable (due to dryness and chaffing issues), but haven't had any problems at all with cups.

Otherwise, ditto the other posters on getting familiar with your own body first. Grab a hand mirror, lock the bathroom door, and take a look. Things aren't nearly as complicated or scary as you're probably thinking.
jayjaylechat on December 2nd, 2014 07:29 am (UTC)
Hey! I'm 14 as well, and I've only used a menstrual cup for one cycle so I'm not all that experienced, but at first I was scared as well but I think it wasn't too terrifying because I'm a tampon user (non applicator mostly) so I'm more familiar with myself :p Your
Hymen can be broken by many things, even riding a bike. Also if your worried about virginity it can't be taken by a mendtrual cup :) I think you should definitely give menstrual cups a try, it sounds like you'll like it :D
nwbi97 on May 30th, 2015 05:39 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness, I know precisely how you feel. I'm 18 and a virgin, about to head off to college. My sister-in-law provided me with a cup hoping to help cut down my college spending and also just help me out in general. But, like you, I've never really been that aware of my feminine organs. Goodness, I feel like an old lady saying things like that. :P
So, I tried a tampon once. It was super uncomfortable and it hurt (probably because it was NOWHERE near as high as it should have been). Anyhows, I hated it. So I just went back to pads and I've honestly been very happy with them. I really didn't know there were other options. Then my sister-in-law introduced me to these. I've been researching all day and just step 1 scares me to death. The idea of "feeling around" for my cervix sends me into absolute panic mode. I feel incredibly silly myself because everyone here is so factual and cool with it all and I'm over here basically hyperventilating.
I'm not sure what I should do...