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08 October 2014 @ 01:01 pm
Hello!
I'm 23 and not a virgin but I seem to have a very tight entrance to my vagina. I have a high cervix so after researching I wanted the longest cup I could find and went with the Diva Cup. I just got my first cup and this will hopefully be my first cycle using it. I should be starting this week sometime so I wanted to practice inserting and removing. However, even with the 7 fold its still tricky to insert. Then after 20 minutes of fiddling with the cup I can't get it to unfold while in me. Ive tried pulling back out partially but as soon as the bottom of the cup resurfaces the rest slides out too. I also have trouble inserting my finger around the cup to try to move it.

Is my vagina too small to successfully use a cup? I have had times when even inserting a regular tampon was difficult & painful during my period. Though I'm not a virgin I've also rarely had pain free sex, it hurts a lot unless I'm VERY VERY aroused.
Am I using the wrong cup? I read that Diva was relatively firm and firm cups tend to open easier but this thing will not.
Is there a way to stretch my vag opening or relax it some way? I've always had trouble with inserting tampons & sex so if theres a way to fix this it'd help in more than one aspect of my life.
 
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 8th, 2014 07:06 pm (UTC)
See if any of the information at http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ helps you.
wheat_frog on October 8th, 2014 07:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the link. Most of this information I have read before. It's not what im looking for advice wise though. I believe a shorter cup would be nearly impossible to retrieve from inside my body, i have short fingers and a very high cervix so the one time I got the cup in "successfully" and my body swallowed it, it took me forever just to press it down enough so I could remove it by pressing it against the wall of my vagina and when I could reach the bottom of it at the pubic bone I ended up sliding it out with one finger like you would the softcup.
Also, I have spent some time exploring my body but I have no idea what it means by squeezing my PC muscle... does this done like doing kegals?
I'm begining to think this was a waste of my money and I'll have to go back to using the softcup or tampons instead.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 8th, 2014 07:37 pm (UTC)
Shorter cup? No, it doesn't recommend one. ;o) And by your description, I don't either. It sounds like the Diva is the right length for you.

Yes, doing Kegels involves contracting and relaxing your PC muscle. It's actually a round muscle, a sphincter, not a hammock even though I occasionally describe it as such.

There is a paragraph about insertion and getting a cup to pop open. There is a paragraph about enlarging the anti-suction holes. And there are even a couple sentences about turning your cup.

If you're frustrated, put your Diva away. Don't give up quite yet but take a break and try again another time.
Kathlynekathlyne on October 8th, 2014 10:18 pm (UTC)
You don't have to turn the cup. Plenty of people do just fine without turning the cup.

It sounds like you are doing dry runs (not on your period). Things are vastly different when you are on your period, so don't give up if you haven't tried it while you are on your period.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on October 8th, 2014 11:38 pm (UTC)
Agreed, dry runs are pretty much useless. You may also find that your cervix sits a lot lower during your period so you won't have all that trouble retrieving your cup. My cervix will start high at the beginning of my period and lower towards the end--some users report the opposite. Midcycle it's extremely high though. Better to figure out how high your cervix is during your actual period, then determine your ideal cup length from there.
hariah on October 9th, 2014 02:45 am (UTC)
Agreeing with the others about dry runs. I tried one dry run, and called it quits after getting it in and getting it out once, didn't even try to get it open.
During one's period, everything is just wetter and more relaxed.
After becoming comfortable/confident putting it in during your period you can try using your cup during other parts of the month if you want, but learn how during your period.

It sounds obvious, but feeling relaxed and under no pressure to succeed really helps. If you can't get the cup to work, just stop fussing with it and take a break and do something you like for an hour(s) and come back and try again later.
If it's during your period, set up a backup if the cup isn't working. A pad, whatever.

If you get it in and not open, but you've spent a lot of time, just stop, leave it in and come back later. Sometimes it opens up inside you without interference.
I'd definitely recommend the virgin's guide, as it sets up easy steps with breaks.

I can only spin/turn the cup on my heaviest of days when my flow is lubing me up. Don't worry if you can't.
A good rule of thumb is just to try checking all the way around the circumference of the top of the cup with the tip of your finger that your cervix isn't outside the cup. If you can't tell, just leave it and come back later.
If you get massive horrible cramps that's a fair sign that your cervix was bumped by something. If you're comfortable you did something right.

I find with the 7 fold it's easier to open by holding the stem with my thumb and index finger, then pushing the fold open with my middle finger.
Once it's unfolded, you can take the already extended middle finger and push your vaginal wall away from the cup. If I'm lucky, the cup with fill with air and pop open then.
If it still isn't open, I feel with my finger if my cervix is too close to the lip of the cup, sometimes the firmness of the cervix is holding it closed.
If that's the case, I pull the cup down and out with my index and thumb, and while holding it away from the cervix, I push on the vaginal wall with my middle finger again.
Hope that helps. :)

Oh and the bit in http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/
about tightness helps, I'll quote it just in case:

"Tight" is a function of that PC pelvic floor muscle. Sit on the toilet, insert your finger and give it a little squeeze. That's the muscle. Now that you know how to contract it on command, practice relaxing it on command. You will need to do so for insertion and especially removal. Splay your knees comfortably, keep your jaw slack and don't forget to breathe. :o) Cups sit above that muscle so once you've inserted or removed, you can go back to holding that muscle as tightly as you want.