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15 July 2014 @ 12:30 pm
Hey I just joined this forum 'cause I need help! I just got a Rubycup and I have never used a menstrual cup before. I finally got the cup in on the last day of my period, but now I can't get it out. It's been in there for almost three days. When I got it in I couldn't get a good grip on it to twist and make sure it sealed so I just let it go and went to bed. Could this have allowed it to sneak up too far? It has since opened and made a seal and now I can't get it out.

I've read like every forum and tried everything. I've relaxed, pushed like I'm giving birth and nothing is helping. I can stick my finger up to the base and about half way to the top but I can't reach the top to break the seal. I can't fit two fingers in to grab the bottom. I'm a 21 year old virgin and I think my hymen might be too narrow for me to reach up far enough. I honestly don't know much about anatomy down there, but I'm completely comfortable doing whatever it takes. I don't really want to go to a doctor, But any advice is greatly appreciated.
Sal McGhostface Killahbeuk on July 15th, 2014 06:34 pm (UTC)
You write that you can reach halfway up the side of the cup. Can you bend your finger firmly against the cup so it collapses inward and breaks the seal? Squatting shortens the length of the vagina and you might get a better reach that way. Doing so in a bathtub or shower is recommended to avoid a mess.

Some people have used other objects to get a cup out, such as a spoon. Are you comfortable with that? Is there someone you can trust to help you remove it?

Also I recommend reading the virgin's guide for more beginner's tips. http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.htmlhtml

As always, if it starts hurting or the skin feels swollen, take a break and try again later.
trejoytrejoy on July 15th, 2014 06:44 pm (UTC)
Yes, I was going to suggest squatting as well.
kiksao on July 15th, 2014 07:40 pm (UTC)
I've tried pushing against it with the one finger I can fit up there, but it just seems to push it in farther. I just can't seem to get a grip on it anywhere. I don't really know much about the anatomy like I said, but I think my hymen might be too narrow, which is why I can't get two fingers high enough to pinch the bottom. Does that mean I can't/ should be using a cup? I'm starting to get really frustrated. I'll try squatting next and if that doesn't work maybe a spoon.
kiksao on July 15th, 2014 07:45 pm (UTC)
Also whenever I push on one side I feel like that is just pushing the stem into the side of my vagina and making it impossible to get out 'cause I just have to search through the tissue to find the stem again. And do you think it's ok that it has been in there for 3 days?
kiksao on July 15th, 2014 08:19 pm (UTC)
Ok, so i can't seem to relax when I squat. I feel like the problem is more with the width than the length. Also I tried using a crochet hook, but it did not feel good. I don't like not being able to feel where I am.

Edited at 2014-07-15 08:21 pm (UTC)
CrowbarTK_Hulloctk_hullo on July 15th, 2014 08:58 pm (UTC)
I get tense when I squat, but I find it helps to have something to lean your body against, like a corner where two walls meet. Make sure your jaw stays slack.

There was a recent post by another who had a cup stuck inside for two days, according to that user, the cup stank but there didn't seem to be other problems.

Good luck getting it out!
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on July 15th, 2014 09:40 pm (UTC)
You don't have to reach the top to break the seal. Pinch the bottom and then rock it out at an angle. Getting air into/above the cup will work it down. It doesn't have to whoosh over the rim, it can seep in slowly through the anti-suction holes around the rim. Needless to say, that takes time so DON'T RUSH THE PROCESS. Take your time. Keep your knees splayed comfortably and keep your jaw relaxed. Rock it out little by little.

Edited to add: There's another method that might work. Slide your finger up alongside the cup on the soft back side of your vag. Squish your finger into the cup so it becomes "a hot dog in a bun" and then slide both your finger and your cup out together.

Three days? Yeah, it's time to get that cup out. It will probably smell pretty bad when it does. Don't worry, it and you will be just fine. :o)

Edited at 2014-07-15 09:42 pm (UTC)
kiksao on July 16th, 2014 02:10 am (UTC)
OH MY GOSH! After two hours I finally got it out!! I still have tons of questions though. If you want to know what worked you can read this otherwise just skip to the questions at the end if you think you can answer some! Thank you!

So I took a long bath just to relax then got in a squatting position over the toilet...like literally with my feet on either side of the bowl and I could lean against the back. I just got back from China so I guess all those squatty potties paid off. After lots of pushing I got it to the point where I could get a good grip on the stem. For the next hour I tried so much but always made sure I was holding onto the stem. With all the different stuff I tried I got it low enough to where I could grab the bottom, BUT squeezing the bottom wouldn't release the seal. I even could reach the rim push in and still couldn't release the seal. I eventually got hold of the bottom and twisted and pinched till the seal broke. Pulling the rest of the way out was easy compared to everything else but it hurt like crazy!!! If it was my hymen that was too narrow, hopefully I tore it on the way out! So now I have questions.

When I insert the cup do I need to pop it open sooner so it doesn't get so high up?

Do you think I need to get a longer cup? I have light periods so I don't want to go bigger if I don't have to. I think Ruby cup might be on the bigger side, but I liked what they stand for.

I've heard you can make the holes bigger so the suction isn't as strong, how do I do that?

And is it normal that I have back and abdominal pain right now? I'll probably be going to a gyno this month since I've never been and I'll bring the cup along and hopefully they have some insight as well.

I'll definitely be reading through this community forum this month. I really want to make this work, but I'm slightly traumatized right now. Good thing I have a month to recover. I literally did nothing else today, but I was determined cause tomorrow is my birthday and I really didn't want to have to worry about it.

Thanks for all of your help and encouragement!!

Edited at 2014-07-16 02:13 am (UTC)
Meganarwen_17 on July 16th, 2014 02:20 am (UTC)
You could try a longer cup, maybe one that is slightly narrower if possible. The size of the cup doesn't necessarily matter; you can always empty on your schedule no matter what. I'm glad you got it out!

It also might not hurt to try this cup again, now that you know you can get it out! If you don't feel comfortable, though, don't.</p>

You don't have to insert high to let it open; once it opens it will move itself to the position your body wants it to be in.

Sal McGhostface Killahbeuk on July 17th, 2014 08:13 pm (UTC)
It may not be the best tool for the job, but I gently stretched the holes of my Diva by passing a toothpick through each hole several times.

Back pain and cramping is a common response to bumping or pressure on the cervix. Pulling out the cup may have done this.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on July 17th, 2014 10:25 pm (UTC)
Agreed about the cervix-bumping causing cramps. This sometimes happens with my Lilycup--which happens to be just the right diameter that it hugs my slightly dangly cervix (it dangles at the very end of my period) and I'll get slight cramps from the pressure/suction. (The Lily doesn't have suction holes.) I feel it more when I am trying to pull the Lily out. This doesn't happen during the rest of my period though (my cervix is probably not dangling and it's sitting higher then)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on July 16th, 2014 02:59 am (UTC)
YAY! It's out! Don't rush into your next cup purchase. Before you do, read this: http://kuradi8.livejournal.com/ And be sure to follow the links to the Virgin's Guide to Cups and the one about Suction. Those posts will give you a better understanding of how cups work.

You might not need a different cup. You might just have to work on your removal technique. Think about what you did to finally get it out. Will you be able to repeat that with this cup?
Luceafaraluceafara on July 16th, 2014 05:24 am (UTC)
Ouch. The Ruby cup is one of my widest cups and I can barely get it in and out on heavy days (it's too wide for me, but I also bought it because of the work they do in Africa), so I can see how a combination of it being a new experience, and the cup being so wide on a low flow day could create a situation like yours. You'll find it a much better experience if you try this particular cup during your period, and start with heavier days, since you are new to cups.

I'm glad you managed to remove it - on your own - next time will be easier!
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on July 17th, 2014 03:44 am (UTC)
On a somewhat tangential note--I also noticed that the Ruby seems rather wide and short, considering that (at least as their charity project) they are handing out their cups to very young (presumably) virgins who are the most likely of anyone to have very high cervices and narrow vaginas. It seems from their site that there are at least some great success stories, but I wonder how many more 13-year-old girls found themselves unable to use the Ruby because of its mom-size dimensions!
Luceafaraluceafara on July 17th, 2014 04:03 am (UTC)
Very good point! I am cup-experienced, no virgin and in my thirties, and have a hard time using it... Can't even imagine my 14 year old self trying it out. :(

It's a very well made, gorgeous cup, but a longer, soft, flexible, stem like the Si-bell's, as well as a smaller diameter, would have definitely been a better all-around option for maximum compatibility. Then again, the diameter gives it higher capacity.
..::bella vita::..por_que_no on July 17th, 2014 10:32 am (UTC)
Agreed! Like you (I think) suggested, I'd recommend the small Si-Bell as a starter cup for anyone. I just upgraded to a Large partly for the capacity and partly because I lost part of the stem on the old one, but at least the Si-Bell is so soft that the additional diameter shouldn't really be an issue (and might help my occasionally dangly cervix)