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Hi people
I really like the genious idea of the menstrual cup, but I am almost giving up - please help me try again! I need a new cup, but I really dont know if this cup is too small, too big, too soft or whatever?
For 2 periods, I have been trying with a borrowed cup, that I will have to give back now. And therefore I need to buy my own cup. Since I have a lot of beginner problems and/or cup issues, I would like some help from you, for choosing which new cup to buy, and also I would like advices on how to insert the cup and make it unfold properly. Thanks :o)

I have been using the Small OrganiCup (medium/soft, 22 ml, 4 cm wide and 5 cm length, with a stem). Last month I struggled getting it inside, folding methods and such, and I finally succeeded getting it in. It hurted, but I survived. But it wouldnt unfold, no matter what I tried. I was told to twist it around, but I really cant get 2 fingers up and grasp the cup and turn it around! I felt like raping myself, and still it didn't work. I had it in for half a day, unpopped, and it only leaked a little and wasnt uncomfortable. So I thought I was on my way. But since then, every time I try, it leaks a lot because it is not unfolded. And sometimes I really have trouble getting it out again, not because of suction (never reached the vacuum state), but because everything is slippery and it gets too high up, and there is no room for half a hand up there!
Yesterday I tried again, and it went very easy getting it inside (no pain :-)), but it still didnt unfold. I used my stomach muscles and it said SWUIP! and for a second I thought: Yes, it unfolded! But then when I checked with my fingers, I found that it had twisted itself upside down! I just felt the slippery rim, and knew that the stem was pointing the wrong way. I couldnt get it out. Panic attack! I struggled for about an hour, with a lot of crying, and breaks to try to calm myself. In the end I finally succeeded getting it out, and now I really dont want to let it inside me ever again! :-O
But what is the problem? Last month I thought it was too big, since it can't unfold inside me. But now I think it is too small, since it can twist around and almost disappear in me? Can it be that it is too wide and yet too short, at the same time? Should I get a larger/longer cup, but just not that soft? (to make unfolding and removal easier)
I should also say, that I am 31 years old, and I am a lesbian, so I am only used to fingers and such, and I am not that active. That's why I chose a small cup in the first place. But I am a bit tall and have wide hips and shoulders, so maybe I can be big inside, when getting used to it. I really don't know.

And by the way, when you are adviced to press the bottom of the cup and twist it 360 degrees to make it unfold, how do you do that? I mean, which fingers do you use, and is it possible to have a cup and 2 fingers twisting around inside you? (without feeling raped) Did I miss a point here? (like, should I twist around a stem, that is outside of me?)

I hope you can help me! I am ready to continue experimenting with a new cup, I just need some advice! Thanks :-)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on April 24th, 2014 12:25 pm (UTC)
It's not the cup, it's you. You're in the dreaded learning curve. Figure out how to use the cup that you have and then use the size charts at the Community FAQ to figure out if another cup might fit/suit you better.

While you're at the Community FAQ, read the Myths post. The Virgin's Guide to Cups might also be helpful. Also check the replies at the insertion and removal tags for yet more good advice.

You are having very typical newbie issues. Hang in there, you've almost got it. :o)
elisamba on April 24th, 2014 01:45 pm (UTC)
The small Organi is my favourite cup, but I admit it does unfold if partially inserted. Make sure the base (bottom) of the cup is well past the pubic bone.

For me, C fold works best. The cup is soft enough that it will stay folded if you keep one finger on the rim while sliding the cup inside, pressing against the front wall. I hope that is clear. Once inside, you can pull down on the stem while pushing with your muscles, and you will probably feel it pop open. When it is in right, the stem will also be completely inside you.
m03m on April 24th, 2014 04:09 pm (UTC)
Please ignore the directions if they say you need to twist the cup. Many of us never do that. There are many ways of making a cup open up, this is just one of them.
dolphingirl1983 on April 24th, 2014 06:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks :-) That's a start...
dolphingirl1983 on April 24th, 2014 06:31 pm (UTC)
I know I am in the learning curve, but I have been reading about this for hours and hours, both today and earlier. On this page and every other page I could find. And I still don't know what to do, so please give me some concrete advice on which cup to buy next. Please :-)

I have tried many folds and positions and other tricks with this cup, but still: It has never popped open inside me.

I know that it can't get completely lost inside me, but yesterday it was way up high and it was twisted upside down, and I couldnt reach it. I was close to calling the doctor to get it out. I can't put that cup inside me again :-( It must be too small, since it can do that?

I am ready to order a new cup and I have the money. I am thinking about getting a longer one, and not so soft. What are you thinking?

And by the way: Among all the posts I have read, I have never found anyone else with this problem - that the cup is too small to get out, and yet doesnt unfold...
m03m on April 24th, 2014 06:52 pm (UTC)
Which folding methods have you tried? Some open easier than others.
Have you tried turning the folded cup so the folded side is oriented differently, for example towards your rectum? Most of us find that the softer parts on that side allow the cup more space to open.

It sounds like more than half of your problem are due to nerves. That sounds sucky but it's really not: it's something we can learn to have control over if we give ourselves time. It's something that generally passes with practice and patience, too.
dolphingirl1983 on April 24th, 2014 07:22 pm (UTC)
Okay, thanks. I will try to be patient :-)

I have tried the C fold, the S fold, the 7 fold, the triangle fold and (maybe?) the labia fold. I haven't tried all of them many times, and possibly not in every direction. I have used the 7 fold the most. It was when trying the triangle fold, the cup ended upside down inside me - maybe that's not my fold...

I must admit, I don't get the air thing. Should I press the air out when inserting or letting it in?

I get SO anxious when I can't get the cup out. How do I prevent the cup from slipping away and turning upside down?
m03m on April 24th, 2014 08:23 pm (UTC)
Ah, so you've definitely tried different folds, that's good information. I use the labia fold for my large Fleurcup, but I don't know whether that would work for you or your cup. I sort of turn it during insertion (you could say that I screw it in!) so that it ends up with the folded part towards my rectum.

When the cup opens, air needs to get in. That may be part of your problem. Some of us use a finger to create an air channel, usually on the soft (back)side of the vaginal canal.

Your cup is probably not too wide. Above the pubic bone, the vagina is usually pretty flexible and it's not very likely that it's too narrow for your cup to unfold.

If the cup turns upside down so easily, it may in fact be on the small side. But it would probably be best to keep on keeping on for a while longer, so that if and when you decide you need a different cup, you'll have better information about what you need and want.

When it's time to remove your cup, do you bear down in order to push it lower? If not, that might help.
dolphingirl1983 on April 25th, 2014 01:51 pm (UTC)
I get your point about getting to know my needs more, before I buy a new cup. The thing is, I am actually using my girlfriends cup. She bought it half a year ago but got scared of it. So I have been borrowing the cup, but now that I am getting into it, she is getting curious too. Which is a good thing, so I will give her the cup back (sterilised), and buy my own cup :-) She is smaller than me, so I figure the cup will suit her. I am gonna buy a slightly bigger cup for me. I am not sure how much bigger, and if it should be less soft. I mean, I can see that there are still a lot of things I have to experiment with, to make the cup unfold. I have begun writing a list of advices to try with my next cup :-)
I have only tried the cup when I have my period (last month and this month), but now my period is over. I have been reading about practising when you don't have your period, but I am concerned about the cup being even harder to remove, if it is true that your vagina is bigger between the periods?
And yes, I bear down to push the cup down to my fingertips. But it is just so slippery and far away, that it is difficult to grasp. Especially when it went upside down, so the stem went upwards...
titaniumtrinitytitaniumtrinity on April 24th, 2014 08:22 pm (UTC)
Have you tried getting it to unfold when it's not quite in all the way yet? I find that if I'm not careful holding it when inserting (with the C fold,) it opens before I'm ready, but it's a little more tricky to unfold if it's already farther in. It might not be the same for your cup, though.
dolphingirl1983 on April 25th, 2014 01:57 pm (UTC)
I havent tried that on purpose, but if I let go of the cup earlier (when it is not totally inserted), it cant unfold because of the pubic bone. There is hardly room for 2 fingers in the entrance with the bone, but not room enough for the cup to unfold.

I am not sure, I understood you correct?
(sorry about my english)
titaniumtrinitytitaniumtrinity on April 25th, 2014 11:55 pm (UTC)
Yeah that's what I was suggesting, but it sounds like it wouldn't work for you. I'm sorry you're still having trouble :(
90subaru on April 25th, 2014 03:41 am (UTC)
Have you tried the punch down fold? It works very well for me, even with a very soft cup. You can usually push on the base and cause it to pop open or just wait a minute or two and it does it by its self
elisamba on April 25th, 2014 05:36 am (UTC)
That's interesting, punchdown never worked very well for me on my soft cups! I would have said the opposite, that it was a no fail fold for firmer, or at least springier cups.

I agree though that, particularly for the small Organicup (hence my favourite) once you know it is in far enough, just standing up and walking or wiggling around a bit, you can usually feel it pop open by itself.
dolphingirl1983 on April 25th, 2014 02:07 pm (UTC)
I haven't tried the punch down fold. I will try, when I get my next cup. I have to buy a new cup, since the Organicup was a cup I borrowed from my girlfriend who is afraid to use it (but now she is gonna try too, so I will need my own cup).
I am gonna choose a slightly larger cup, as I am worrying about the cup being too difficult to remove, and to avoid that the cup turns upside down again. I am not sure whether to buy a firmer/springier cup, or if my problem with the unfolding is more due to the beginner state I am in... Please feel free to suggest a suitable new cup to me :-)

With the organicup, I could walk around for hours with the cup inside me and not even feel that it was there. But it didn't pop open. I could insert a finger and touch the foldings, but not unfold them. Next time, I am gonna try pushing the walls, and letting air in. I really hope it is gonna help :-)
elisamba on April 25th, 2014 03:20 pm (UTC)
If you haven't trimmed the Organicup stem, the length of the Gaia cup shouldn't be a problem for you. It is very smooth and soft yet but springy. It also has no visible seam. There is almost no size or capacity difference between small and large, but the large is slightly firmer, and 1 mm bigger both ways. You can get it at femininewear or coppetta mestruale, maybe other sites too that I just don't know about.
dolphingirl1983 on April 25th, 2014 03:37 pm (UTC)
I haven't trimmed the stem, as it is already so far inside me that I am having trouble reaching it. But the Gaia cup is longer? That would be great for me :-) Would you recommend the small or firm large then?
elisamba on April 25th, 2014 04:44 pm (UTC)
I only tried the small, it is still 30 ml.