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26 March 2014 @ 09:14 pm
Hi everyone, I'm in my late teens and I just purchased my first menstrual cup today- a diva cup. I'm also a virgin. I did find it painful to insert, I'm still trying some tips that I got off of some other posts. One question I do have is that my hymen is still intact, and I'm worried that when I try and take my cup out that it will break my hymen and I'll be in a lot of pain. Has anyone had this happen to them? Is it likely to occur? Thank you for having the kind heart to read my question :) I'm just kind of worried about the pain and everything.
vampieofsavannivampieofsavanni on March 27th, 2014 04:29 am (UTC)
HOW DID YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS GETTING IT IN???????????? I'm also in my late teens, and a virgin, etc., except my hymen already is a shredded mess, but it hurts SO MUCH no matter what I do, and it doesn't even GO more than 1/2" in, it just pops open and falls out.
darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 28th, 2014 02:12 am (UTC)
I squatted in the shower until I got it 3/4 of the way in, and then took it out because of the pain and I was scared since I'm not very experienced that I wouldn't be able to get it out. I am trying to put a bit of it in each day, just to get myself accustomed to it on my period. Maybe that will help for you? Some natural oil as extra lubricant might help as well? I just try to tell myself that it is a work in progress and that if I try just to get a little in each day that eventually it won't be so painful and I'll be more experienced. Let me know if you are still having troubles or if it works for you!
pinkydoodler on March 27th, 2014 07:58 am (UTC)
It depends on what kind of hymen you have, but most cup companies warn using a cup can break your hymen. I'm guess it might happen with a springy cup if it opens at the wrong time?

I'm currently using a cup with an intact hymen as well. So far it still remains unbroken after cup use. I found doing gentle hymen stretching exercises with your fingers for a week before using the cup very useful. There was some slight soreness down there in the beginning, but by the end of the week, the hymen became fairly flexible and could stretch to handle the cup going in and out without being uncomfortable or breaking.

Also, I used lube to make insertion easier. Cover a finger with lube, insert and lubricate the outside and inside of the insertion point, clean hands, relax, and insert the cup at own pace.

I have no idea how stiff a diva cup and whether that makes a big difference vs a soft cup (which I used), but I found the combination of week+ of preparation + lube made the whole experience fairly painless for me. I'm also pretty sure if I hadn't done the stretching exercises I would have had a lot more trouble, because on the first day I couldn't even get the tip of a finger in!
darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 28th, 2014 02:15 am (UTC)
I know that the Diva cup isn't the softest out there, but I'm not sure if it is the most ridged. I will definitely try hymen stretches, is it just pushing down on the skin slightly? This gives me hope considering you could get a finder in and now you can use a cup! Hope it will be the same for me!I just have practice relaxing too :)
pinkydoodler on March 28th, 2014 04:15 pm (UTC)
Yes it's pushing down gently at the hymen as much as you can without feeling discomfort, waggling the finger around to loosen things up, and trying to get more of it in everyday. I started with a little bit of the tip of the pinky finger until i could get the first knuckle in. Then i switched to index and just aimed for an improvement everyday until i could get a whole finger in and out comfortably. It also helps to get you used to the feeling of insertion so you can relax and don't tense up as much. This exercise also helps to find your cervix so you know what size cup would be best for you.

I never did manage 2 fingers in during dry runs (which they said you needed for removal of the cup) but during the actual period, I found the cup could slip in with sufficient lube and the right fold (for me, punchdown and 7) anyway, I guess that part of the body tends to loosen up more during the real thing. I did use 2 hands to insert though. One holds the cup and keeps it folded while the finger of the other hand guides the cup and pushes it in.
darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 29th, 2014 02:32 am (UTC)
That sounds useful, I am already able to get a finger in so I'm just going to practice that too! I'm a bit worried about my cervix though, because even with my finger in all the way, I can't seem to find it. Now I'm worried that I won't be able to reach my cup. I also don't know how to bear down either :/ any suggestions?
pinkydoodler on March 29th, 2014 03:22 pm (UTC)
Bearing down is one of those motions you do instinctively i think, but it does bear mentioning that the same motion as passing a bowel movement also causes the cup to move lower down. All that said, i should be honest i did make a point of picking a cup with an extra long soft stem to avoid any problems with reaching my cup, because I knew the hymen being there would make it harder for removal..

Also, are you familiar with Kegel exercises? Just like your arms and legs, the muscles down there benefit from training and practice so you can contract to relax them on command when you need to. Here's a link on how to do kegels


darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 29th, 2014 08:22 pm (UTC)
thank you! This helps a lot :)
neumeindilneumeindil on March 27th, 2014 08:48 am (UTC)
Keep in mind that a hymen often doesn't so much "break" like a cracker as it does stretch or tear, like- well- skin. It may not be very painful, or even noticeable, as you use your cup with more frequency. Just do your best to stay relaxed, go slowly, and don't forget to squeeze with your fingers, not your pelvic muscles. :)

If you can get some, a nice natural lube like coconut oil can help reduce friction and make insertion and removal more comfortable. Beware of petroleum based lubes (petroleum jelly, etc.) which can damage silicone.
darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 28th, 2014 02:17 am (UTC)
Thank you! I never knew that-I just thought it was kind of like a "pop", a lot of pain and bleeding. I have coconut oil and that should be very helpful, considering I did a dry run. Would olive oil work as well?
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 27th, 2014 12:34 pm (UTC)
Go to the community FAQ and read the Virgin's Guide to Cups.

Click on the virginity tag and read the replies there. You should be able to find a link to Scarlet Teen articles there.

Sit on the floor with your knees up and splayed. Part your labia and you should be able to see your hymen with a flashlight and a hand mirror.

If your hymen isn't in the way, then you're probably clenching your PC muscles. To isolate them, next time you go pee, start and stop your stream a few times. Then insert your finger and give it a little squeeze. Now that you know how to contract them on command, practice RELAXING them on command. You'll need to do that for insertion and especially removal. Open your mouth a little and keep your jaw slack -- and don't forget to breathe! :o)

Edited to add: Yes, it's possible to "break" your hymen by using cups. If keeping it intact is important to you, then maybe you should use other methods instead.

Edited at 2014-03-27 12:37 pm (UTC)
darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 28th, 2014 02:20 am (UTC)
Thanks, I think that I'm clenching my muscles when it is going in, but when I try pulling it out that it is my hymen. I think I'll do hymen stretches and if I break it with a cup then I break it. I would prefer not to, but I feel like cups are the best way to go, and that I will be more aware of my lady parts.
Dabbily Abbilyeskimoabby on March 27th, 2014 10:58 pm (UTC)

Watch this video- your hymen doesn't ever have to break. Just be gentle with it. As far as removing the cup this time, I would just say to go slowly and relax. If it got in alright, you should be fine getting it out :)
darlingdee7darlingdee7 on March 28th, 2014 02:27 am (UTC)
thank you! this helps so much!