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03 December 2013 @ 09:14 am
you all have been so helpful when i have a question, so now i'm gonna ask one for my sister. she's 28, a virgin, and *really* wants to use a cup. however, she is apparently very tiny. she's used a small ladycup a few times, but only with quite a bit of pain, especially when removing. i'm wondering if a mini meluna small would be a good cup for her? and if she should get the classic or soft? i've read that the soft takes a bit more skill to use, which seems like in her situation would also mean another painful cup. what do you all think? she's willing to try again, so i want to make sure she has a better experience this time!
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on December 3rd, 2013 03:13 pm (UTC)
Would the small Mini Meluna be a better cup? Not necessarily.

When you say she's "tiny down there," I'm going to assume that you mean she's tight rather than short. And if her hymen isn't in the way, then she's probably clenching her pelvic floor (PC) muscles. Cups sit above them. Next time, after she goes pee, have her insert her finger and give it a little squeeze. Now that she knows how to contract them on command, she should practice RELAXING them on command. She needs to do that for cup insertion and especially removal.

The small Ladycup that she has is a fairly short-bodied cup. How easily could she reach the base? Easily = stay in the same length range. Hard to reach = she could use a longer-bodied cup. The small Mini Meluna that you're thinking of is a much shorter cup. It could be hard to reach and dig out. So my point is: Don't be afraid of length if she thinks she needs it. The small Mini Meluna is also a lower capacity so it would need attention more frequently.

Her Ladycup also happens to be a smooth cup that some find to be very slippery for removal. If it fits well, maybe something similar in size but with a different texture?

So.... Check out the size and capacity charts at http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ or others at the Community FAQ and use what she knows, likes and dislikes about her Ladycup to figure out what might fit/suit her better. Also consider capacity, shape and texture. While she's at the FAQ, also read the Virgin's Guide to Cups. There's lots of good advice there.
pynki616pynki616 on December 3rd, 2013 03:51 pm (UTC)
thanks for the advice! i'll have to talk to her again. i know she's had issues with yearly feminine exams being uncomfortable, too. capacity wouldn't be an issue, since she has a really light flow, but i have a ladycup and can definitely see how slipperiness could be a problem! as for length, she doesn't have the cup anymore so i'll have to ask her if she remembers how easy it was to reach...
emofish91emofish91 on December 3rd, 2013 05:25 pm (UTC)
I can say from experience that the small mini meluna can be extremely difficult and frustrating to fish out if you're not completely relaxed. It's only about 2 1/2 inches long.
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 3rd, 2013 06:18 pm (UTC)
In my experience, softer = easier to grab and sort of refold for removal so the whole rim doesn't come out at once. The small Ladycup is notorious, amongst other things, for having afirmer rim. Otherwise I support Kuradi8's comment regarding length and capacity.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 3rd, 2013 07:45 pm (UTC)
as a virgin (23) i can say that the length has nothing to do with it. i don't know why most companies make the small size shorter. the ladycup is already very tiny. she just needs to fold it smaller (for removal as well) and in general to go through the learning curve.
tarababe87 on December 4th, 2013 02:29 am (UTC)
serpent_849: I am not a virgin, however I am very small (tight and short) down there. I have a small MeLuna (with ring grip), and it is still almost too long for me. I occasionally have to sneak in the restroom and push it back up.

To OP: Maybe sounds like the rim is too big around/too firm. Have her take a look at the chart someone else posted, and maybe try a smaller around cup? :)
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 4th, 2013 04:18 am (UTC)
are you sure you insert it properly? i have a VERY low cervix but the small melunas almost don't stick out for me (only on the toilet). maybe it's actually too narrow? or your cervix is in the way?
does only the ring stick out, btw? i had a ball stem and i had to cut it off :/ now it almost doesn't stick out (a little due to the shape - it's the newer kind with a rounded bottom). anyway, not to put down your experience, but it's VERY rare for anything shorter than 50mm to be too long. (and would be even more rare if there were some wider cups in this range)
the stem doesn't count normally. (OP, if you friend gets a meluna, a traditional stem is the best. i don't recommend cutting off the ball....)
tarababe87 on December 4th, 2013 04:27 am (UTC)
I'm just trying to tell you that not every vagina is made "standard" and that's why there are different MC sizes.

I had the same problem with tampons poking out, and my muscles clenching so tight that they leaked. I will deal with having to shove my cup back up a handful of times a day instead of leaky tampons.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 4th, 2013 04:42 am (UTC)
i know everything about non-standard. i can't even imagine myself using tampons, my cervix is like 2 cm in if even that.
you're lucky you didn't get a diva...
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 4th, 2013 04:47 am (UTC)
also, we low cervix folks are basically lucky that many companies' small sizes are short. technically there's no reason why a virgin would need a shorter cup than a mum - if anything, the mum is more likely to need a short one due to possible prolapse. of course some need really short cups, but it doesn't go well with the usual factors like age and kids/sexual activity.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 4th, 2013 04:52 am (UTC)
sorry for so many comments, but i'm serious, a wide cup can help. if it's soft, you won't notice the width. and thanks to the width it will sit deeper around your cervix.
my first cup was the small lunette and it stuck out a lot. there were no soft melunas back then so i got a LARGE ladycup, and it worked fine for me inside out. (painful right side out, though) i don't use it anymore now that i have my melunas, but it was a good option back then.
pynki616pynki616 on December 4th, 2013 02:54 pm (UTC)
as a low-cervixed person myself, i know what you guys both mean! i have a large ladycup, and even flipped inside out, it pokes out a bit. i have to push it back up sometimes. i purchased a mini meluna medium on here to try, hopefully should get it before my next cycle! serpent, you use a *small* meluna? if the mini doesn't work for me i may try that. my sis had no trouble with the length of the ladycup, it was the rim being too firm. she needs something fairly short and really squishy, i think...
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 4th, 2013 03:17 pm (UTC)
i have purchased, in this order: a medium soft mini (glittery, that was before it was called mini), a small soft "optimized" (with a rounded bottom, yellow) and a small mini classic (orange). i use the mini ones mostly. the newer small is not the right combination of shape and width for me. oh and i use them all inside out, except that the new small is uncomfortable and i only wear it right side out (if at all...)

if the ladycup length is okay, i don't think there's a need for a tiiiny meluna (unless you're getting a meluna for yourself and want to save on the shipping). i think the Standard Small Size will be fine for her. like the small lunette, fleurcup, si-bell etc or a medium meluna soft.
trejoytrejoy on December 4th, 2013 12:26 am (UTC)
I second juliiie87's comment about the Ladycup's firm rim. Something a lot softer, like the si-bell, should be significantly less painful to insert/remove.
nemesis27nemesis27 on December 4th, 2013 08:03 am (UTC)

the lady is very soft and comfortable, it hurts her? , better than a mini small meluna is a small soft meluna, because the rim is smaller in diameter.
But I think it´s similar to the lady.
The si-bell is very soft and can work for her, the natú also, and now is in promotion in the web of natú, good price.
but, for me, lady cup is one of the best cups I´ve ever tried, If I were her, I´ll try more months with the lady.
pynki616pynki616 on December 4th, 2013 02:59 pm (UTC)
thanks for your suggestions, everyone! i've talked a little more with my sister, and found out that one big problem was the firmness of the ladycup's rim. so we'll find something nice and squishy to try. and capacity really isn't an issue. she said on her "heavy" day, she'll use two regular tampons for the whole day... and she had no trouble actually reaching the cup, so she doesn't need more length. we'll definitely look into some of your ideas! :)
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 5th, 2013 09:57 am (UTC)
Small or medium Meluna soft (not the Mini, rims are firmer on those) would be my rec. They're the easiest to refold, along with my Cuplee (I have the original large, the small is coming to Femininewear.co.uk very soon), but it's longer. I recently got a small Si-bell and I find it's firmer and harder to remove than I expected.

Edited at 2013-12-05 09:58 am (UTC)
pynki616pynki616 on December 5th, 2013 01:49 pm (UTC)
thanks for the tip! i just bought a mini for myself, i'll have to check how firm it feels compared to my ladycup. you know what i wish? i wish they had *all* of these in stores, and we could go check them out, touch them, compare them in person instead of this whole trial and error online guessing game we have to do now!!
m03m on December 8th, 2013 10:17 pm (UTC)
Maybe some day... *sigh*
(Deleted comment)
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 15th, 2013 08:13 pm (UTC)
Not sure, I haven't tried the small soft, but based on my medium soft I'd say probably.