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25 August 2013 @ 07:42 pm
I keep seeing where people say to turn or twist the cup after inserting to make sure you have a seal. I don't see how this is possible! I can't get two fingers in there to save my life; to get it out I have to use the stem until the bottom is outside of me then pinch it. It hurts to get one finger in there with the cup! Am I just small? Tampons hurt and I always(read: every single time) bleed a little after sex and it always hurts alot going in for just a second.(my gyno does sti tests yearly at annual appt I'm always negative. so that's not why it hurts. She says everything looks normal).

If I twist the stem, it just keeps twisting because it is soft but the cup doesn't twist. I have a small lunette. I am 22 and have never given birth. My flow is extremely heavy though; it makes me anemic. Should I just force finger and thumb in to try and twist it? I don't even know if I can without it hurting too much. And if I do get them in how the heck do I open them wide enough to grip the cup?

I really like the idea of cups but maybe I'm just not meant to use them. I chose the small lunette because it is supposed to hold a lot while still being pretty small; on my 2 heavy days I soak super tampons in a couple hours. =[

Ooh second question: I have a really hard time breaking the seal when getting it out. It hurts to get it out. Would a softer cup be easier to break the seal of?
teacupcake89 on August 26th, 2013 11:11 am (UTC)
Hi, please can you edit 'stii...clean' to something like sti-free, as clean implies that those with sti's are 'dirty' which they are certainly not. thanks :)

if you're not experiencing leaking you don't 'need' to twist or turn the cup, it just works for some.

are you using lots of water based lubricant or coconut oil (if not using condoms) when you have sex or insert the cup to make it easier? most people (myself included) need to do this, especially if you're uncomfortable/hurting/bleeding because of the friction.

are you taking iron supplements and eating lots of iron rich foods? (with orange juice/vitamin C to help the absorption) lots of daily Vitamin E can also help reduce bleeding and cramps.

when you insert/remove the cup you need to relax and use your muscles to help. You don't say how many months you have been using your Lunette for, but from experience and reading posts on here, your problems are very much beginners ones that will get better with practice and time (not to do with you being 'small' more about learning to relax, take your time and get used to using the cup)

Think about it this way: once the cup is inside you there is space either side of the stem for your fingers to go. So for removal: bear down until the stem is easier to each then slowly insert one finger so it's in the space one side of the stem, then slowly, bearing down if need be insert another finger in the other space. This will get much easier with practice!!

Once you can get a good grip on the stem pull it down/rock/wiggle side to side to break the seal then either squeeze the base for 10 seconds then remove or press the rim inwards with one finger and pull out.

A softer cup (like a si-bell or cuplee) would probably be easier to break the seal, but don't even think about getting another cup yet, you need to get through the learning curve thoroughly with the cup you have for now.

jeiiyfishjeiiyfish on August 27th, 2013 02:28 am (UTC)
Edited; my apologies I didn't mean anything by it =]

I'll try lubricant when inserting; I remember reading not to use it on one cup site or other(I did a bunch of research at once and have no idea which manufacturer said that lol).

I have an iron prescription. I have only had the cup for 3 periods so still learning; I'm getting a little frantic because I'm getting a copper iud during my next period and I'd like to master insertion and removal(mostly removal) before I have that expensive thing in there too. My insurance is not birth control friendly so iud was out of pocket. I wish I'd known cups existed years ago but sadly I only found out about them recently while researching iuds. I'll just be doing dry runs until I get it right I guess heh. I'm getting better at breaking the seal I think. Haven't panicked and yanked it out by the stem again anyway; that really hurts lol.
juliiie87juliiie87 on August 26th, 2013 11:17 am (UTC)

I blame Divacup's instructions for this crappy, unrealistic advice, but I'm afraid they're not the only company that have been propagating that myth (and others). YES, I know some people swear by this method and that's fine with me, but personnally, I really don't see this helping. In fact, if your cup is already unfolded (and thus sealed) you'd have to break the seal to make it move anyway. That's just not logical to me. If it's not unfolded, then yeah, feel free to poke and stir and push and twist, if that helps.

Your vagina is not a given width. It is closed onto itself most of the time and can stretch to accomodate whatever you insert. Pain and bleeding can have several causes, detailed here : http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/one_bloody_mess_myths_realities_of_bleeding_with_first_intercourse

Mostly in the context of cup use, it could be a lack of lubrication (water-based lube, water, coconut oil can remedy that) or, most commonly, because you are (uncounsciously) clenching your plevic floor muscles. Those are roughly the same that you use to release urine or hold your stream mid-pee. Now instead of holding , you need to gently bear down in order to relax those. And obviously the rest of you needs to be relaxed too. And the position you're in can affect how those muscles feel : I personnally recommend sitting on the toilet, knees splayed OR, for insertion, lying on your back, in the privacy of you bedroom, feet flat on the bed, knees splayed with your pelvis tilted / back slightly arched. I find that creates a lot of room in there.

There's nothing wrong with your removal method. Bearing down while you hold onto the stem should help you bring the cup within easier reach. I use just one finger to release the seal and start dragging the cup down. I do find softer cups (Cuplee, Meluna soft) to be easier to grab and squish for removal, but I don't have a Lunette. Have you only been doing dry runs ? If so, don't jump to conclusions just yet, it should get easier while on your period! And remember there is a learning curve for everybody.

Edited at 2013-08-26 11:20 am (UTC)
jeiiyfishjeiiyfish on August 27th, 2013 02:58 am (UTC)
Thanks for the info, if twisting it isn't necessary I'll stop wasting my time trying =]

I have done dry runs and tried it for a few periods and I've gotten to where the amount of suction that's there during removal doesn't hurt or bother me, and my main concern is pulling my soon-to-have iud out. I've read through past posts regarding iuds and know some people never have a problem, and I have also read through cup posts on iud divas.

I'm going to try my best to keep using the cup carefully, because I think it's a huge step up from tampons, in the same way that tampons felt like a huge step up from plastic pads when I started high school and was finally allowed to use them(got my period when I was 10 =[). I also like how much less waste there is with the cup than with disposable things; I use a safety razor on my legs for that reason also(it's metal and you just change the double-edge blades, instead of cartridges or plastic disposable razors).

I'll stick with the Lunette..for now :D. In the vintage razor forums there is what is called RAD, or Razor Acquisition Disorder. It refers to people new to vintage razors(some not so new) who want them all; I just HAD to have a Lady Gillete starburst in each of the four colors. Menstrual cups are more expensive than my Lady G's, but I think they might become the object of my next acquisition disorder if I'm not careful =]. After mastering the Lunette, that is.
juliiie87juliiie87 on August 27th, 2013 11:24 am (UTC)
Ha! there's a safety razor fan in my cloth pad group. We call ourselves paddicts. :P I could limit myself to 3 cups for the past few months, that I like for different reasons. I don't see myself having a huge cup family, I don't think I would like *all* of the brands, and when you think of it they're fairly similar baring the little details. If you do decide you want to give a softer cup a go, I wont discourage you though... because I fell in love with my Cuplee on the first try <3.
ameliarozeameliaroze on August 28th, 2013 04:21 pm (UTC)
Some personal experience on not being able to get more than a finger in to aid with the cup. I am a 25yr old virgin and very tight. I could only almost get one finger. I learned that the hymen, which we actually never lose, can be stretched. I used lube and started with one finger and worked up to two. It did stretch be out so I can fit two fingers.

So just some proof you can stretch it without pain so you can remove and insert with less pain too.

A friend and fellow cup user shared this link that really explained about the hymen and helped me a bunch>
jeiiyfishjeiiyfish on August 29th, 2013 01:46 am (UTC)
That is very informative, thanks for the link. I'm in a long distance relationship so sex is like 4 or 5 times in a couple days then none for a month or two, which this video seems to say causes it to un-stretch. Maybe this is the answer to my bleeding and cup problems!

lol. This community is the home of tmi. Really, thanks though =D