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I hope this hasn't been asked before--I've been looking back in the FAQ and haven't found anything related to my particular problem, so I apologize in advance if I missed it.

Anyway, I'm obviously new to using these. I'm 32, recently married, was a virgin until then, no kids/pregnancies. I never had any luck with tampons growing up, because they always leaked. I've never been diagnosed with it for certain, but I'm pretty sure it's a tilted uterus thing.  I did use homemade cloth pads for several years, but decided to stop using them a few months before the wedding. (At the risk of TMI, I could never get them to smell clean no matter how long I washed or soaked them, and my now-husband has a dog that likes to steal small things from the laundry. All sorts of embarrassment potential there.) I got a small Lunette cup to try out, and so far, I have had zero luck with it. I tried to insert it several times before the wedding and it was just way too painful. I finally picked it up for the first time again today. The good news is that I did actually manage to get it in this time. The bad news is that it immediately pushed itself back out as soon as it popped open.  I know my vaginal muscles are still pretty tight and resistant to anything going in, based on how other things are going so far (TMI again, sorry), so any suggestions on how to get it in and keep it there? (Or just relaxing in general to make insertion easier?)

Thanks in advance for the help.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on July 18th, 2013 10:21 pm (UTC)
Tilted uterus has nothing to do with it. It doesn't matter which way it leans.

You're probably following the directions for a cup to sit low. IGNORE the instructions and the illustrations that show the cup sitting down by your vaginal entrance with a cup-length or more between the rim and the cervix. Every cup company shows the same thing and (for many/most of us) it's just plain WRONG.

In reality, a cup should settle (O) around your cervix and the body of the cup will more or less fill your vaginal canal. The depth of the base of the cup will depend on the length of your vag and the cup. The base of the cup should sit above your pelvic floor muscles.

Where are they? Next time after you go pee, insert your finger and give it a little squeeze. That's them. While you're there, feel around to find your cervix. It's a coin-sized nub that feels vaguely like the tip of your nose. It's probably closer to your belly button than your tailbone but that's not always true for everyone.

Edited at 2013-07-18 10:22 pm (UTC)
Beckysmor on July 19th, 2013 07:01 pm (UTC)
I'm still at the point where actually managing to insert it at all is an accomplishment. But I'll keep that in mind.
pineapplewhippineapplewhip on December 7th, 2013 05:45 pm (UTC)
I have a tilted uterus and I do well with both size lunette cup, I think it's cool you stsyed a virgin until married, I had hoped for that, but life got crazy, anyway, I am in my 30s and have not had many boyfriends, so I have tight muscles as well (not yet given birth) I have crazy heavy periods and anemia (floradix iron everday after blood transfusion) anyway back to your pop out cup, I agree with the fact that thry do usually eind up high in your body, after i get it open i push it up a bit higher until you don't feel it. I'm a lunette fan.
v_veronikav_veronika on July 19th, 2013 07:29 am (UTC)
I agree with the previous comment, it could be that you're trying to insert the cup too low.

Another possibility is that the cup doesn't open all the way. I had the same problem when I was learning to use one of the softer cups - when it didn't open all the way (the rim popped open, but not enough air filled the cup), it would just slide right out. The next time you insert it, slide your finger in alongside the cup after you've inserted it, and push the wall of your vagina away from the cup for a few seconds, so enough air can flow into the cup. The Lunette isn't really that soft, but if you're still learning how to use it, popping it open could still be a problem.

Good luck!
Becky: chocolatesmor on July 19th, 2013 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Like I told the previous commenter, getting it to go in at all without pain is as far as I've gotten, but I'll keep those tips in mind.
djehutys_wisdom on July 19th, 2013 01:07 pm (UTC)
The small Lunette is still my favorite cup. I used to have a similar problem to you. The best I found was to use the 7-fold, then stand with leg apart and one foot up on the bathtub or the toilet lid. I'd put it in tall pointy end first, and as I inserted it, I'd keep it folded and rotate it about 180 degrees slowly to get it past my pubic bone. Then I let it go and kegel it into place. This is the method I still use. I've never found the other folds nearly as comfortable, and I hate the punch-down fold (which works well for many other people).

I also only do this with the cup freshly rinsed with cold water (still wet), and I never tried a dry run.

BTW, hymens can take a while to go away completely.
Amanda Sydnortokeytokey on July 19th, 2013 10:42 pm (UTC)
So many people say to push the wall of the vagina away from the cup to allow air into it. For me, it seemed like no matter of pressing would actually do the trick--the cup still stayed against the wall and didn't allow air in. Do you know how to do a Kegel? (If not, it's tightening the pelvic floor muscles...many people explain it by telling you to stop your flow of urine...those are the muscles. Don't practice it a lot like that, though.) Anyway, a Kegel is essentially the tightening of those muscles. Do what I call the anti-Kegel...push the muscles "out" so they relax. You might feel generally open down there. After you have the cup in and you are pressing on the wall to allow the air in, do the anti-Kegel, and you'll feel the walls relax and suddenly air will rush in! Also, the anti-Kegel can make it easier to insert in general. Definitely make sure that the cup is above the pelvic bone, though. I have a low cervix, so there are still times where I don't put it in quite far enough and it just slides right out again. You're not alone!
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 19th, 2013 11:02 pm (UTC)
If it's painful, you're most likely clenching you pelvic floor muscles (or you might need some extra lubrication?) it's like trying to shove a spoon in with your mouth tightly closed : not very practical. You need to allow your body to work with the cup, not against it. It can be tricky at first if you've never made use of your vagina for function or pleasure. But it can definitely be done and cups should help you on the way. I think you need to start from the basics : use your fingers and get comfortable with your own anatomy first. There's no shame in that, and in fact you'll have to do it to retrieve the cup anyway ! So might as well start now.

Start here : http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.html and move forward step by step at your own pace.

Insiders' tip : for me, relaxing my pelvic floor is a lot like gently peeing but not quite as strongly as to actually push anything out, if you see what I mean ? And my most relaxed position when I first started using a cup (and best for popping open!) was lying on my back, on my bed, with no one around, feet flat, knees splayed and with my butt up a little. I find it makes everything "open up" more. Good luck and don't forget to take your time and to RELAX! You can do this.
pineapplewhippineapplewhip on December 7th, 2013 05:48 pm (UTC)
You might like a small classic or sport meluna, they are a bit smaller, keep what you have too, if you're like me you will like many brands.