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I'm fifteen, a virgin, and I bought a MoonCup yesterday (size B, of course). I tried it this morning, although I am coming to the end of my period. I just sat there on the toilet look at it and thinking, 'How the hell is THAT supposed to get up THERE?' The rim alone is enormous. I've never used a tampon before. I feel like there's something wrong with my vagina; I can't get a finger up there. Maybe I'm pushing in the wrong place, I don't know, I'm afraid I'm not greatly educated about 'down there': most of my knowledge genuinely comes from the description of female sex organs in Anne Frank's diary. I still have no idea what most of it is though. I'm fairly sure I know what the clitoris is, but what is the vulva, the labia? I'm completely confused and this is just not helping with insertion. I seem to have lots of little fleshy flaps and completely disorganised wads of skin or something. Am I abnormal? I'm partly scared to push my fingers in there because of my fingernails.

I don't know. I'm confused and don't understand how it would be physically possible to get anything in there at all, forget getting a baby out. Could someone please give me some advice? It's not that it would get stuck, it's more that I just meet a fleshy wall and it doesn't exactly hurt, it's just not going to go any farther and it seems futile to try.

Thanks. I just don't want to use pads for the rest if my life.
 
beachgrrl248 on May 12th, 2013 07:45 pm (UTC)
Well, Mooncup is one of the larger cup options, especially when it comes to the rim. I'm also a virgin, 14 years old, and I use the small Lunette, so using a menstrual cup as a teen virgin is in fact possible!
I think before you try inserting your cup again, you should explore your anatomy. Maybe give your nails a clip first though. If you're too attached to your precious long nails, then just be careful when exploring.
I know this sounds weird, but its actually good to have a small hand mirror under you so you can see what's what while discovering your lady bits.
Here are links to some picture that show the female anatomy, so you can identify everything for yourself:
http://www.fphandbook.org/external-anatomy
http://health.allrefer.com/pictures-images/female-reproductive-anatomy-1.html
And this if you want to know what things do
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/your-guide-female-reproductive-system
florrieviridis on May 12th, 2013 07:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks
My nails aren't long, just really strong and sharp for some reason, ha ha. I wish I'd known to buy a smaller brand before... now I've spent £21 on something I'm not going to be able to use...
Tessgryphonwing on May 13th, 2013 12:16 am (UTC)
Lots of people can use large cups even as teenagers. Most people start small, but don't despair.
m03m on May 13th, 2013 06:33 am (UTC)
Re: Thanks
You may very well be able to use it one day. You won't be fifteen forever. There are other cups you could start with. And you may even learn to use this one soon.

It's just a whole lot easier if you learn how to insert a finger or two into your vagina first. So give yourself some time, and have some education. This page is a great start.

For the record, the vulva is everything you see down there. The vagina is the internal part: the tunnel from the outside world to your womb (uterus). And the labia are the fleshy flaps on either side of your vulva; there are two pairs, the inner labia and the outer ones. So that's a start!
Georgiabecomingun on May 13th, 2013 03:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Thanks
I've been using a large cup since I was a 17-year-old virgin and now as a 24-year-old virgin I still use the same one without issue :) It may just take some coaxing!
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on May 12th, 2013 07:52 pm (UTC)
OK, put the cup away until it doesn't scare you any more.

In the mean time, http://www.the-clitoris.com/ has some very good pages on female anatomy, how it works and what to do with it. WARNING: The photos there are VERY FRANK, "up close and personal," and leave NOTHING to the imagination! Do not go there if you think you will be offended and be very careful about who is or might suddenly appear over your shoulder.

Sitting on the floor with your knees up and splayed will give you a good angle with a hand mirror in case you want to compare what you see in the photos to your own body.

Don't worry, cups are patient. Yours will wait for you. ;o)


Edited at 2013-05-12 07:53 pm (UTC)
juliiie87juliiie87 on May 13th, 2013 07:09 am (UTC)
I wanted to comment last night but my computer froze. I agree with others that you should give it some time, until you stop freaking out, and learn a thing or two about your anatomy in the meantime. It's valuable knowledge to have even if you ultimately decide you don't like the cup. We've all been there, there's been a time we've all thought *nothing* could fit into our vagina, but it turns out it's not true. Vaginas are more fexible and resilient than they look. Also, I really don't believe theres such a thing as a beginner's cup, and strongly discourage newbies/virgins getting "the tiniest cup there is", you want a cup that fits you and works for you, and a few mms difference won't change your learning curve. Now if you hadn't bought the cup already I might have put in a word for a softer cup, but lots of people use this one, so why couldn't you ?

Another diagram and set of explanations I meant to post : http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/my_corona_the_anatomy_formerly_known_as_the_hymen_the_myths_that_surround_it but the whole website is worth exploring.
Just for you, The Virgin's Guide to Cups : http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.html
And folding techniques, 'cause that's really how you make cups fit in there : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6L-POE-b0 If those confuse you Lunette has much more detailed explanations on youtube also.

Good luck!

Edited at 2013-05-13 07:55 am (UTC)
Crazy cat ladygipsy_queen on May 13th, 2013 10:09 am (UTC)
I'd say another good thing to do would be to have a read of some of the MoonCup Q&As http://www.mooncup.com/q&a.html . Things are quite muscular in there and stretchy - without wanting to sound belittling, how else would a baby get out?

I think it's very brave of you and a good move to come on and ask questions as there may be others that were thinking the same things but worried about asking. I also think what beachgrrl24 says about the hand-mirror is very good advice - have a look at your bits. There's nothing odd or weird about it and if you know how things look down there it should make you a bit easier in your own head.

And don't worry that you've spent that amount of money for nothing. Moon Cups fold down, and as I remember rightly, there's a number of different folds you can experiment with to see which is the best for you and what's comfiest. This might sound a bit odd but have a play with your Moon Cup so you can get a bit better used to it. Fold it, pull it, turn it inside out - they're very tough (I've had one for about ten years now). Sit down and have a really good read of the book that comes with it as well, as that should also help to answer questions. IIRC, there's a helpline number too, so you can speak to someone on the phone, in confidence, for further advice.
http://www.mooncup.co.uk/about-the-mooncup/how-do-i-use-the-mooncup.html
Good luck, lass! You'll be an old hand at Moon Cup usage in no time - and welcome to the family! :)

Edited at 2013-05-13 10:10 am (UTC)
florrieviridis on May 13th, 2013 04:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'm new to this community, but everyone seems so friendly, far more so than the rest of the internet. I tried looking in a mirror last night but it's hard to get any sort of privacy when you're living as the child in a family. My little sister bounces round my room any time she feels like it, and my mum's not better.

Thanks again, everyone!
teacupcake89 on May 13th, 2013 07:28 pm (UTC)
Like others have said: don't despair and throw your cup away just yet! many virgins use much wider cups, and many use the small Mooncup UK despite it's stiffness and thick rim.

When you feel ready, try inserting the cup using a narrow fold like the punchdown or triangle fold. video showing the folds clearly here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep5hh0W-nFw don't worry about not being able to do all the ones shown in the Lunette video with your MCUK, softer cups are more flexible.

Try different positions to insert the cup, some suggestions include:

sitting on the edge of the bath
sitting on the toilet (leaning backwards or forwards)
squatting over the toilet or just squatting (high or low)
squatting in the shower/bath or leaning against shower door/wall
one foot on the toilet seat/bath
lying on back on the bed, knees wide apart feet flat on the bed or knees drawn to chest.
lying sideways on the bed, spoon position or one leg at 90degrees.
I'm sure there are more but these are the ones I have tried!

Once you get the knack you’ll be able to use a cup in more than one position but sometimes taking the pressure off and being able to use it in your room if you have shared bathrooms with people wanting to use the bathroom when you’re trying to use the cup really helps. Likewise if you have a toilet with a lock, that's might be the best place for you away from siblings etc!

use some water based lubricant like KY Jelly on yourself, not the cup to help with insertion. (or coconut oil if you find that's at hand/easier or less embarrassing to buy!) coconut oil is naturally antifungal and moisturising so it won't give you thrush so long as you don't get the fragranced kind, get the regular stuff you can eat/cook with.

You can make a cup easier to insert by running it under warm/hot water. Likewise, if you have problems getting the cup to pop open, running it under cold water can make soft cups stiffer and spring open easier.

Remember that the vagina isn’t vertical, so make sure you angle the cup slanting downwards towards your tailbone/end of bottom. I repeat this to myself if I find the cup it hitting against something, take a deep relaxing breath and insert a bit further at a different angle and repeat until it is mostly or fully inside.

The most important tip is to RELAX!! I pretend that I'm about to 'have sex'/insert something, this helps me relax and distracts me from panicking and overthinking the cup as an ‘object’! Focus on relaxing your muscles, keep your jaw slack/open as this will stop you from tensing up and take deep breaths! Sometimes bearing down a little, as in almost trying to pee / have a bowel movement helps keep my vag opening relaxed.

Insert the cup slowly, slowly, I hold the top with one hand and the bottom with the other hand so it has less chance to 'pop' open before you want it to. With the punchdown fold, I insert the smooth side upwards with the crease towards the floor, but you might find the other way better. If you’re having difficulties stop midway insertion, then holding the cup still, relax, and push slowly in the middle of a deep breath. Repeat until the cup is in fully.

Don't worry, you'll get there! in the meantime, your cup will be waiting for you next period when it will be MUCH easier to insert! :)