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liljaneliberty
I don't know if much of you remember me it's been about a year since the last time I was here. Anyway I am having a really big issue with this menstrual cup I bought about a year or so ago I just can not get it in anymore I'm on the verge of tears now. I'm tempted to just have sex with someone just to get rid of this dang hymen...I know TMI I'm sorry I'm just so dang frustrated.

I admit that for awhile I was able to get my cup in a couple of times and get it out but then I had a life changing situation that sort of put me on the path or stress and frustration and I stopped using it. I did not have the time anymore for the cup. The passing of my grandmother made my life change. Since I was no longer needed to help take care of her I had to find a job and a place to live. I've since found both and I'm going pretty strong in living in the real world. Just recently I've discovered a new way of cleaning my hair which involves Baking Soda and Apple Cider Vinegar. Which not only is better for the environment then traditional shampoo but is also good for my wallet.

In the process of getting through this new method of washing my hair I was suddenly reminded of my menstrual cup and how much I really wanted to return to it. And now that I've pretty much gotten my life back on track I figured it was time. My new cycle just started and I tried to put it in for a sleep time moment however...and much to my aggravation...I could not get it in. I've tried all the traditional methods and nothing I'm on the verge of throwing the $40 cup in the trash I'm so frustrated with this. I know I've not done it in awhile and practice makes perfect but I can not get passed the fact I was still having troubles before I stopped using it.

I want to so bad for this to work and I'm now starting to wonder if I just have the wrong cup. If I should go with a different brand. I just want this to work so please any helpful comments and suggestions of different cups is appreciated. And just so you all do not have to ask. I am a virgin and I am 26, turning 27 this Nov. And the cup I currently have is the smaller Lunette cup.
 
trejoytrejoy on May 2nd, 2013 05:37 am (UTC)
I wish I could suggest a cup that would insert more easily with a tight hymen. Have you tried lubricant?

When I tried the Keeper Mooncup as a virgin, I couldn't get it in and gave up until after I was married. But I didn't know about this community six years ago!
tjstjstjstjstjstjs on May 2nd, 2013 09:42 am (UTC)
What kind of cup are you using?

It might be worth getting a small soft cup. I would suggest a soft MeLuna Small, or a soft MeLuna Mini Small, or a Naturcup Size zero, or a Small Ladycup (which is rather soft but still has a firm rim so it pops open).

Have you had a look at these charts to see different lengths, widths and firmness?
http://menstrualcups.wordpress.com/category/comparisons/
http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1285963.html

If you're willing to spend a little on trying a cup or two then you can always sell them on http://mc-sales.livejournal.com if they turn out not to be good for you.

Have you ever used tampons? I would recommend getting to know your body down there a bit (either during masturbation or just educating yourself). If I hadn't used tampons and known what I was like inside then I wouldn't have got used to using a cup so quick. Have you ever put your finger inside you and had a feel around?

It's not clear whether the problem you're having is caused by your hymen only having very small holes in it, or your cervix being very low, or whether your muscles at the entrance are tightening because you're nervous.

I certainly don't think that having sex is the answer. You can break your hymen just by using tampons or doing sports. And even then the hymen may not be the problem, it might be muscles or low cervix.
tjstjstjstjstjstjs on May 2nd, 2013 10:04 am (UTC)
Sorry, I just read your other posts and I see you're using a small Lunette. After looking at the charts I would recommend going for the smallest cup ever, so why don't you try a Soft Small Mini MeLuna (They're also the cheapest!). You can always move up to a larger size later in life, once you get the hang of it.

I would still suggest putting your finger in there are feeling around, so you know where the put the cup, and the shape of your vagina (birth canal). Have you ever had a Pap Smear done? Because it's always possible you have some very unusual (but normal!) internal features like a tilted cervix or uterus didelphys or some other thing. Your doctor should be able to confirm that everything inside is OK and it's just a matter of learning how to use the cup.

Lastly, internal protection isn't for everyone! Don't feel that there's something wrong with you if you don't get the hang of it. There's always also the option of washable pads. I know they sound really gross because you have to rewash them, but they're SOOOO much nicer and feel cleaner than disposable pads (less smell, less stickiness, less heat, more dryness). The brand I have used is Momiji Naturals.
liljanelibertyliljaneliberty on May 3rd, 2013 02:39 am (UTC)
I've used tampons and never really liked them. I could always feel them no matter what I used it was painful to sit down plus I was scared of TSS. So I've been pretty much using pads but I want to get away from them to an extent. I masturbate quite a bit but it's kinda hard to get in the "mood" to do so when the Red Ninja comes to visit it's kinda of a buzz kill. I just want to get it in, right now I think my main issue is finding the right fold, lubrication, and the proper position for insertion.
juliiie87juliiie87 on May 3rd, 2013 10:33 am (UTC)
For me, the easiest positions are sitting on the toilet with my knees splayed wide OR (this one is less convenient but it works the best) lying on my back (on a bed), as if I was about to have sex or have a gynecological exam. I find it creates "a gap of air" in there that allows for easier insertion and especially easier unfolding of the cup. But you may have to pull your labia out of the way with your free hand, one side then the next. With some form of lubrication on you (better than on the cup for obvious reasons), this should work, I think. And bearing down at the same time also helps keep the way open.
liljanelibertyliljaneliberty on May 3rd, 2013 09:14 pm (UTC)
I was actually able to get it in last night. What I did was I practiced different folds and different positions. I would put the cup as far in as I could get it in without letting it go. Then pull it out to sort of get used to the insertion. Then when I was confident enough I pushed it all they way in with no issue except for a ping of pain when it unfolded. I used the triangle fold and it worked pretty well. I left it in all night and woke up this morning with no leakage. What was surprising is that the cup shifted up into me more during the night. Cause when I went to bed the stem was hanging out but by morning basically the whole thing was up in me. I'm guessing then that my cervix must be kinda high up? Again that's a guess. Anyway when I woke this morning I went to take it out I reached a finger in and broke the suction and tried to put it in a C fold to take it out it still hurt but not by much, when I got to the pain part I just sort of quickly pulled cause I didn't want to stop and cause more pain. At least it wasn't as messy as last time, and I did both the insertion and removal over the toilet. I'm hoping if I use this either during an all night or all day scenario for now then after some time I'll get pretty used to both insertion and removal that I'll use it all the time.

My main issue right now overall is pain from removal.

Edited at 2013-05-03 09:17 pm (UTC)
juliiie87juliiie87 on May 2nd, 2013 10:25 am (UTC)
I disagree with the recommendation to pick the smallest cup ever. We don't know if your current cup fits you, since you haven't inserted it yet (or maybe you have, in the past, and you don't say if it fit or not). The main difference between your Lunette and a Mini Meluna is length, not so much width. If you happen to have a long vagina, having the shortest cup will only make it more difficult to remove. A softer cup (Cuplee, si-bell, meluna soft) may help in the sense that it would be easier to fold tightly for insertion and removal. That being said, what fold are you using ? there's a bunch you could try, some of them smaller than others. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6L-POE-b0

What I can suggest is lube, relaxation, playing with positions and angles until you find something that feels right for you. There are many reasons why inserting something inside your vagina may be difficult : lack of lube which creates friction, poor angle (aim towards the end of your backbone, NOT up!), or simply stress. The last one can make you clench your muscles uncounsciously, blocking the entrance. Insert a clean, lubed up finger, and give it a squeeze as if you were trying to hold your pee : that's how it works. Now take a deep breath, keep your jaw and shoulders loose and gently push as if you were about to pee : that's how you relax. You will need to do this for insertion and removal. I would suggest starting with the recommendations here : http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.html

Don't put pressure on yourslef, this is a new skill you're learning, and your cup will wait for you. I also second the recommendation for cloth pads : they're simply awesome ! Here's my favorite US maker, lots of variety for a reasonable price : http://www.etsy.com/shop/CarolinesCreations09

Edited at 2013-05-02 10:28 am (UTC)
liljanelibertyliljaneliberty on May 3rd, 2013 02:26 am (UTC)
I have tried about every folding trick in the book I had a couple of successes and they went alright except the removal was painful as all get out. I guess I'll have to try it out on a dry run when I can be lubricated from...well...masturbation which I have done quite a bit also. I've also inserted other things in and out without an issue so I'm surprised this is that painful and troublesome. Then I think I will also get some lube to help when I'm actually on my period.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on May 2nd, 2013 11:55 am (UTC)
No, don't get another cup yet. Get the one you have to work. Then decide if it's the right size/shape.

Are you sure your hymen is in the way? Or are you just clenching your muscles without realizing? Since you've gotten the cup in and out successfully in the past, I suspect the latter.

Next time you go pee, insert your finger and give it a little squeeze. Those are your pelvic floor (PC) muscles. Now that you know how to contract them on command, practice RELAXING them on command. You'll need to do that for insertion and especially removal. Perhaps getting used to insertion with other objects would help? Clean hairbrush handle? A narrow vibe/dong? Something that you feel is more "easy in, easy out?"

As for your hymen, if you sit on the floor with your knees up and splayed, part your labia and you'll be able to see it with a hand mirror. Very often, hymens are stretchy enough to allow cup usage. But if you want to "break" it, maybe you'd be more comfortable doing so with an inanimate object like a dong or vibe than adding the stress of involving a guy.