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Hello Cuppers!
I am thirteen years old and I started my period last month for the first time. From the moment I started my period, I found the idea of both pads and tampons wasteful and disgusting, to be honest. But seeing as they were all I had available to me in my house, I had to make do with pads (we have tampons but only ones without applicators).
I started to google eco friendly menstrual products, and soon came upon (drum roll please) the wonderful... the beautiful... the ever praised... menstrual cup! (play fanfare). I was intrigued by the idea of this odd, but strangely obvious device of feminine care. I was immediately ready to jump on the bandwagon (still am).
However... there's an issue. I don't exactly know how my mom would react to the idea of the menstrual cup. Not because of issues of virginity or of me putting thing "in there", but because she is so used to the idea of pads and tampons being the only options.
Under normal circumstances, I would find a way to tiptoe around letting her know about this, but the problem is, the only cup sold in stores near me is the DivaCup, and I've heard that one is a little bit for stiff/ firm, which doesn't sound pleasant in that delicate area of my anatomy. I was hoping to get a small Lunette... But that's only available by mail order for me... SO I'd have to get her to a) pay for it (though really, I COULD pay her back), b) let me use it, and c) be okay with the idea of a menstrual cup.

In short, how do I convince my mom that using a menstrual cup, and (hopefully) investing in one for me is a good idea?
 
livesamanthalivesamantha on April 25th, 2013 03:38 am (UTC)
Personally I would maybe print out a few pages of the pros and cons, as well as some stories (with permission) from this community from other girls your age who already use a cup, that way your Mom can see it's not just something for adults :)

You could casually mention you were looking up some alternatives because you feel unhappy with pads and tampons, and you want to know what she thinks and give her the print outs.

ALSO a good idea is maybe find a magazine with the full page Diva Cup ad in the back (most girl mags have them lately!) that is just another sign for her to see cups are becoming more mainstream and not some weird internet trend :)

Good luck!
skysosskysos on April 25th, 2013 03:53 am (UTC)
I think the main thing would be to show her that you've thought this through carefully, and be ready to address her concerns. You want to show her that you've done your research and you really think this is the right thing for you, and explain WHY. For example, explain how you plan to keep the cup clean, be ready for questions she might have about TSS or infections, why you think it's better for you than pads/tampons, why you want the Lunette in particular, and so forth. If you think you'll be nervous when you bring this up, you can always practice what you'll say ahead of time, out loud, until it feels natural!

The info sheet idea is a good one; I think there also was a teenager that posted awhile ago that made a powerpoint presentation for her mom! Good luck and let us know how it goes!
elephantus45elephantus45 on April 25th, 2013 04:22 am (UTC)
How is your mom for other things? Like, how does she respond when you have something important to tell her? That might help you figure out the best way to ask/tell her.

My mom did not react the way I'd anticipated when I told her about my diva cup. She's a geologist, and she got grossed out and said "Why do you want sand there?" Since its made of silicone.. since I was like 23 at the time we didn't really discuss it after that. I was hoping that she would be interested in it, and glad I was going "green" lol. But then, when I thought about it, she never liked talking to me about things like that. When I got my first period she just gave me a box of pads and that was that.

Good luck!
juliiie87juliiie87 on April 25th, 2013 09:01 am (UTC)
For me, the key benefits to using cups from a young age, or just any age really, are health and confort. Many people experience diaper rash irritation from pads, and they aren't fun to use in the summer when your friends are going swimming, or for sports. I would also mention your concerns over the risk of TSS, particularly prevalent in young girls, associated with tampons. This website is especially fightening as it tells the stories of young grils and women sho survived or fell victims to TSS: http://you-are-loved.org/

Also, I know this isn't what you asked, but for your information, the small Lunette is virtually exactly the same stiffness as the Diva, regardless of what this or that manufacturer may advertise. The main difference between those is length. Just because you are young, doesn't mean you should get the tiniest cup there is : if you have a long vagina, you'll only struggle more to remove a tiny short cup. Have a look here before you settle on a brand : http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ A Meluna soft / small si-bell / large Cuplee would be the softest cups. Many teens are happy with a Diva or Lunette though, as they are medium stiffness, it mostly depends on your anatomy and preferences. All cups are actually smaller than they look online.

Edited at 2013-04-25 09:06 am (UTC)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on April 26th, 2013 03:29 am (UTC)
"Hey Mom, I think I would like to get and eventually use a menstrual cup." She'll probably say, "A WHAT???" Then offer her a website or two about them in general and/or the one that you are most interested in and give her time to learn more about them herself. By now, you're a couple of chapters ahead of her in the cups book so she'll need time to catch up. Perhaps something like a combo pack of small/large (one for you, one for her) if you both like the same brand.

http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ has guidelines and size comparisons with links to side-by-side photos.

We are all enthusiastic cup users and would be happy to answer questions if she has any so encourage her to post her concerns.
trula_rtrula_r on April 26th, 2013 11:50 pm (UTC)
Hi!
I'm 14, though found cups after my 2nd cycle when I was 13. I also was super nervous to ask my mom, and I definitely didn't want the diva cup. Basically, I would suggest compiling some pro-cup info(no TSS, no waste, better for your body, no chemicals, ect) that your mom would like. You know your mom better than anybody, so find some facts that tailor specifically to her. When you ask her, you can first start out with general period grievances( pad feels icky, worried about TSS, ect.) and explain how a cup would fix that. You can also mention how she probably doesn't enjoy her period, and how much better this will make it for you. I would also suggest researching your preferred cup type, and telling her how small the dimensions really are. I personally started with a small lunette, which I loved, but it didn't have quite enough capacity. I just got a large fleurcup, and I haven't had the chance to try that out, but I hope it works well. If you have any other questions about convincing your mom, have questions for another teen, or just want to talk, you can message me privately. I'd love to hear from you about how the talk goes, and how you overall experience with menstrual cups goes.
Good luck from a fellow teen,
Trula
(Deleted comment)
trula_rtrula_r on June 20th, 2013 04:57 am (UTC)
Hi! I went to my privacy settings, but didn't find anything that would help this situation. However, I have messaged quite a bit with another person who was my "friend" on LJ. Now that you have friended me, maybe you can message me??? Otherwise I don't see why other people can message me. Maybe try again? Who knows. If it still doesn't work and you want to write me back, let me know and I'll work something else out. Thanks,
Trula
Ashatenlegspider on April 29th, 2013 04:41 pm (UTC)
I'm concerned that you're not using the tampons just because they don't have applicators. Cups don't have applicators either; you need to be comfortable putting your fingers in your vagina. Ideally you should spend a little time working out what's going on in your vagina before you choose your cup, as it may be that you have a high cervix and then the Diva could be a good choice for you. If you're not ready for that yet I suggest you go out and buy yourself some applicator tampons for now and work on getting more comfortable with your body.
mood_swinger23 on May 1st, 2013 07:22 am (UTC)
Just feel like adding my 2 cents here...
I've never used any non-applicator tampons (ie OB) and am getting by using a cup just fine. Note also that I am 23. I don't particularly like poking around at my insides, and I feel with an OB I'd have to push it in really far myself to get it to wear it needs to be. With my cup I don't have to really poke around much at all (unless it isn't opening up correctly). I release it right past my pubic bone and leave it go from there. The only time I really have to poke and prod around with it is if it's not opening correctly (a problem I am still remedying). I would second the idea of trying applicator tampons for now (or reusable cloth tampons) just to get a feel of what it's like to have something inside of you.

But anyway, point of the matter: Coming from someone who doesn't like touching her insides and who has never used an OB tampon in her life, I don't think it's a mandatory kinda thing to be 100% comfortably putting your fingers inside of you. You should be fine to use a cup.