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A friend of mine was given a diva cup as a gift a few months ago and has been raving about it ever since. I use pads, have used tampons only 2-3 times as I fear their inherent health risks and will only pop one in if the necessity for a pad would ruin my day (ie beach trip). So after hearing my friend loving her cup, I thought I was sold and picked one up (was about $27, on sale at a local sex/health shop). My intention was to do a "dry run" though I've seen on here that this isn't something that is recommended in a lot of cases--for me it is important that I can get the cup in and opened before "show time" so I know it will work. I have a bit of a "firehose" when I'm on my period--blood ends up in strange places I feel like it has no business being, so having an unopened cup up there would probably make a mess. I also work in an office with tiny busy bathrooms and gossipy/catty coworkers, so it's really not a great place to try to mess with a menstrual cup.

But I am getting discouraged. I have gotten the cup in a grand total of twice, after several painful attempts, and when I can get it in, I can't get it to open....until I've half pulled it back put. Then it snaps open right in my opening and hurts like a &@$#%!! I am not a Virgin but I am a lesbian so penetration is not a huge part of my sex life. I can use tampons, like I said, and I have had (painful but doable) Pap smears. Part of my problem is I have what I think is some thick hymen tissue around my opening, which the cup is getting caught on an pushing/stretching rather than going through, the two times I have gotten the cup in, once it gets past this tissue it's easy. I am using the push down fold, as it makes the tip smallest, I did try the c-fold but it makes the end too big, and I find the 7 fold too hard to hold in place. I can't figure out the origami fold!

Once the cup is in I have tried pushing poking wiggling, turning and dancing and that sucker will not pop open! I thought it did the second time I tried, it didn't feel "round" but I felt it shift and some suction but.... No dice.

I have only been lubing it so far with water, I will try actual lube once I'm less sore from the last attempts to get it in... Is it normally this hard/painful, or should I be looking for a smaller softer cup? (Suggestions?) I am determined to make this work!!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 26th, 2013 01:27 pm (UTC)
The Diva has tiny little anti-suction holes around the rim and they make it notoriously difficult to pop open. Try enlarging them with something like a drill bit or manicure scissors or a body piercing tool. The holes on the cup with the largest holes are 2mm or 12g punch or ~1/16"

Also try turning the cup around so that the folded part faces the other way -- up instead of down, left instead of right, etc. Sometimes that makes a big difference. To pop open, the idea is to get air into/above your cup so use your finger to create an air channel on the soft back side of your vag. Most importantly, for insertion and removal, DON'T RUSH! Go slowly, especially in the beginning. Develop your techniques and you'll be popping it in and out in no time.
trejoytrejoy on March 26th, 2013 02:00 pm (UTC)
Back when I used the Diva, I had issues with it. I'm very physically sensitive so the thick rim under the lip didn't work for me and the tiny holes created so much suction I ended up with headaches. My solution was to switch cups, but kuradi8's advice could make the difference for you.
sodabottlesodabottle on March 26th, 2013 03:12 pm (UTC)
I'll try widening the holes with a yarn needle, that's a good pointer-I think-or hope-that a bit of lubricant will make to more comfortable to get in. I know I can put it in without it, the two times it did go in it was painless, it's just getting it past the "gates"--so maybe some lubricant will help there. Once I've recovered from my last attempt, anyway--ow. X_X
Jennifer Monoteasy2begreen on March 26th, 2013 10:51 pm (UTC)
I find that it helps me to make sure that at least one hole is in the middle of whatever fold you're using. This way, air can get into the cup and let it unfold before the hole is blocked by contact with your vaginal wall. I have used the origami and labia folds successfully with my Diva (technically a Jasmine, which is a knock-off with the same shape and tiny holes). Here's a link to the labia fold: http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/769444.html .
juliiie87juliiie87 on March 26th, 2013 03:27 pm (UTC)
It seems like you're having a hard time inserting it in the first place : lube could help tremendously with that, but since you aren't very familiar with penetration, you may also be clenching your muscles surrounding the opening, which could give you that "tight" feeling (tight is only a function of those muscles). So relax, keep your jaw and shoulder loose, don't be afraid to pull your fleshy bits out of the way with your free hand, and even bear down a bit. Relaxing those muscles is somewhat similar to using the bathroom, that's how you let go vs. hold things in. Of course you don't have to actually pee or poop, but that's the general idea, to keep the way open.

The reason it only unfolds when you bring it closer to the entrance is because it needs air to pop open, like Kuradi8 says. There are several ways to let air in, you can use your finger to push away your vaginal wall, gently pull it down (but not all the way out) or, personnally, i found that lying on my back, on my bed, with my hips up a little helped create a gap in my vag so there's air in there. I also second trying to face the folds different ways, for me facing the floor is what works best (more room on this side). You could also try different folds : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6L-POE-b0 my go-to is half diamond, it never fails me. Basically I find folds that go inwards such as the punch down are trickier to pop open.

Also, to answer your question about trying antoher cup : wait it out. You're still int he learning curve ! That's why it may seem difficult right now, but I promise it'll get easier. Besides, I'm ALL for softer cups and have no issue with them, but realise that a softer cup would only be more difficult for you to pop open right now.

Edited for typos.

Edited at 2013-03-26 03:52 pm (UTC)
Megan: EhhSqrlhdsqrl on March 26th, 2013 05:32 pm (UTC)
I just thought I'd add a note that, despite our community's propensity to suggest that *any* cup is better than the Diva, some of us are quite happy with the Diva at the end of the day. The Diva was the first cup I tried, and I have had no reason at all to switch to another, and I never even needed to trim the stem. :)

So...yes, either try again with lube, and/or try again once your period begins, as you'll find both avenues far better than a dry run with water. If the Diva's not a good fit, you'll know it. Just don't assume that it won't fit simply due to the fact that there are indeed lots of other options out there, that's all.

Tessgryphonwing on March 26th, 2013 10:31 pm (UTC)
I love love love my Diva. XD

tobilei on March 27th, 2013 01:29 am (UTC)
My diva presses on my bladder when it's in on day 1 and 2, but otherwise I love mine too for the most part.

I find the punch down method works best for me, but definitely try other folds if you can't get that one going.

I need my cup to be wet. If it's not wet, it's very hard to get in.

On day 1 and 2 of my period I do need to pop a finger up the side just to help it pop open properly. Then I give it a gentle tug up and down to make sure it's sealed properly. Make sure you have the cup past your pubic bone before you try to open it, that way it will hopefully not pop open right at the entrance anymore (have had that happen, it's agonzing!).

Try different positions. Lying on your bed with your butt on a pillow, try squatting right down (I use this or I sit on the toilet, legs apart and reach in from the front, this tends to work best-sorry for TMI). Try running the cup under the cold tap before you put it in too, this will firm up the silicone a little and help it to pop open.

Like others have said, a softer cup will be harder to pop open if that's what you're having trouble with. Good luck :)