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The Devil's Advocate
Hi folks! I'm new to using a cup- 23, virgin, usually I have a couple very heavy days and the start of my flow and then it trails off. I also have a pretty irregular period, so sometimes I'm dealing with it two weeks out of the month, which is why I'm switching to cups.(This also means that the intensity of my flow varies quite a bit.) I've been reading the entries in this community, but I wanted to get some direct advice for a couple decisions.

I bought a size 1 Diva about a week ago, kind of as an impulse buy. It's a brand I'd heard of, and it's what my one friend who uses a cup uses. I had my period this past week, and I had a really good first experience- no problems with leaking  inserting or removing. The only problem I did have was the stem chafing my vaginal entrance. The first day it was pretty bad, so I trimmed the stem about halfway, which reduced it to a sort if itchy tickle when I'm walking- still annoying, but not bad at all. I work a desk job, and I don't notice it sitting, but I definitely do when standing and walking, and I wind up kegeling and fidgeting, which makes me self-conscious.

I think I could probably trim it all the way, but because I just menstruated a couple weeks ago, my flow was much lighter and shorter than usual. I wanted to ask if it would be a bad idea to trim the stem the rest of the way off. I've tried feeling around for my cervix, but it's mostly amounted to "Well, that feels squishy and warm!" What are the odds that my cervix will rise(?) enough to make the cup difficult to remove (bearing in mind I've had no problems so far) during a more "normal" period?

Since it seems like the Diva is long for me, I was thinking I would get a second, shorter cup. I'm currently leaning towards a large MeLuna classic. I wanted to know if anyone could give me their personal comparison of a Diva versus a Meluna classic, particularly in terms of "squish" factor (I've seen the charts, but that's not very helpful when I only have one point of comparison). I was also wondering about pros and cons about the different kinds of grip style. I'm leaning away from the stem, and I was wondering if the other two were any less irritating? Or, if I still find them annoying, are they more difficult to trim off than the stem style?

Thanks for taking the time to help a newbie out!
Michellemichelleh324 on February 22nd, 2013 04:50 am (UTC)
I cut my stem all the way off! It's so much better like that. If you have difficulty removing just bear down like you're pooping and it will come down on it's own.
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:31 am (UTC)
Haha, thanks! I'll definitely remember that!
carmellahcarmellah on February 22nd, 2013 05:13 am (UTC)
I would still go one whole cycle keeping the stem as it is trimmed now. It might have felt itchy because it was already irritating the inside before you trimmed it. I wanted to trim my Luette stem too, and then as I was sleeping it went higher!

Keep in mind since the Diva is long and the MeLuna shorter, that the stem on the Meluna might not irritate you at all. If you think it would then the ball stem seems the shortest. That being said I am a semi newbie and I already have 4 cups lol! Lunette and Fleurcup in both sizes! If you can afford it, get another one until you find your goldilocks of cups :)
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:33 am (UTC)
I figured waiting would be best, but it's nice to have it confirmed.

And thanks for enabling me. XD
chamekkechamekke on February 22nd, 2013 05:35 am (UTC)
Since you're still on the learning curve, you might want to hang onto the cup you've got and really get to know it thoroughly before abandoning it for another brand. Don't forget, if you're nervous about cutting the stem any further, you can always flip your DivaCup inside out to temporarily 'remove' the stem and (slightly) shorten the length of the cup. That should give you some idea of whether a trimmed DivaCup will work for you.

To answer your question, I own a DivaCup #2 (very slightly larger than the #1) and a large classic MeLuna in the 'basic' (stemless) model. According to the size charts, the large MeLuna is 1mm longer than the body of the DivaCup #1. The silicone material of both DivaCups sizes is the same, so I feel safe in saying that the large classic MeLuna is stiffer (especially at the rim) and less squishy than the DivaCup. I find it distinctly easier to break the seal on the MeLuna than the DivaCup, though - not sure whether that's because of its greater stiffness (my medium soft MeLuna basic is easy to remove too, so maybe squishiness isn't critical?), or its grip rings (larger and more pronounced than the ones on the DivaCup), or maybe the larger holes?

For what it's worth, I find the stemless MeLuna easy to remove, but everyone's mileage may vary. If you do decide to go for a MeLuna, and you want one that's about as squishy as the DivaCup, the soft MeLuna is the one to choose. And you can always choose one with a trimmable stem if you want to hedge your bets.

Edited at 2013-02-22 05:36 am (UTC)
juliiie87juliiie87 on February 22nd, 2013 12:35 pm (UTC)
Actually I'm pretty sure the sizecharts say both Divacup are 57 mm without the stem, so that's basically the length of the XL Meluna, and longer than both the "old" and "new" large Meluna.


I think OP should just try their cup next period and trim the stem if it's still bothering them. You don't really need it for removal OP, only to locate the base of the cup, and it sounds like yours stays within reach. I never used a Diva, but I did try a large classic Meluna and found it too bulky/firm for my liking. It's likely to be slightly firmer than a Diva, which doesn't necessarily means it'll be uncomfortable, but for me removal was a pain, because it was harder to refold such a rounded, firm cup. Just my 2 cents, I generally prefer soft cups.
chamekkechamekke on February 22nd, 2013 04:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the catch, juliiie87. Looks like I read the length as width, and vice versa. I appreciate the correction!

That said... the OP asked specifically about the relative squishiness of the large (not XL) classic MeLuna vis-a-vis the DivaCup, and I do have those models, but I can't say about the XL. Maybe someone else may know whether the XL classic MeLuna is more/less squishy than the L classic, or how the XL soft compares to the DivaCup? But I do have a M soft MeLuna and it's much closer to the DivaCup in softness/squishiness terms, so if firmness is a concern (and the OP is sure they want a MeLuna), the soft would probably be a better solution.

And yeah, I'd first try (a) persisting with the DivaCup, (b) flipping it inside out to see if not having a stem will cause "finding" issues, and then (c) trimming the stem off if comfort demands it.
juliiie87juliiie87 on February 22nd, 2013 04:42 pm (UTC)
Yes, I only mentionned the XL because of length, idk either... but I have a feeling (like I may remember from others) that it shouldn't be much softer than the large. Only the medium classic feels somewhat softer than its peers, ime.

Funny you should say that about your medium soft, the Diva I squished (a friend's) felt quite thick to me, and my medium soft feels (to me) like the softest cup ever ! I support the rec for a large soft, just because... it should be soft, lol.

IMO if the OP is a bit worried about removal, flipping it inside out is a more drastic move (although only temporary) than just trimming the stem a little further, I mean it's known to make it a good deal shorter and more difficult to remove due to the lack of grip rings. Whatever the OP decides, I support not going through the chaffing for a whole other period.
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:46 am (UTC)
Thanks! From what I've read, a lot of people seem to prefer the softer cups, but I've seen so much different stuff that it's kind of hard to keep it all straight.
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:42 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the info about the relative softness/firmness. I'm pretty sure I don't want anything firmer than the Diva, so that's really helpful.

I'm kinda nervous about flipping the cup inside out, just because it seems like it would make it slippery to grip and get out, but I'll definitely at least give it a trial run and see how ti works out!
inazumarionrhodinazumarionrhod on February 22nd, 2013 02:16 pm (UTC)
Hi, there! I'm a cup-newbie, too, and I have the same brand and model as you.

About the stem: It was irritating to me, too, and I have trimmed. At first I was thinking I'd have to trim a lot to make a difference, but I decided to cut just a little at first and see what happened. That little bit was actually enough for me not to feel it at all! At the very least, I'd say to trim little bits at a time instead of lopping the whole thing off all at once. I only trimmed from the end of the stem to halfway to the first ridge on it, which is a barely discernible amount, but it made a really big difference.

I'd also advise you to try something when you rinse and replace it next, too; once you've got it in, try to grip the stem close to the base with your fingers so your fingers are touching you instead of the stem, and move around a little bit. If there's something else still touching or irritating you besides the stem, you might be able to tell that way. That's how I knew it was the stem that was bothering me, not something else. It's kinda clumsy and silly, but it helped me, haha.

If you're not sure how your cervix will rise during other parts of your period, you might want to wait on the trimming, just in case. You may end up just cutting it all off in the end, but stems are useful when you're new to the cup like we are, so I'd try to keep at least some of the stem on there.

I've heard other stem types are more comfortable, and that MeLuna Soft is very comfy; seeing as how long the Diva is, though, you might not have to trim anything off other cups at all. It'd be best, I think, to wait until you've got the Diva's stem at a decidedly good length, see how much you've trimmed, and use the new, modified length to compare to the other cups so you can see what will be too long, too short, etc. I hardly trimmed my Diva and it's comfortable, so I'm more likely to run into the "too short" problem, but your body is different from mine and everyone else's, so you'll just have to wait and see. They say you can make most any cup work for any woman, so see if you can get the Diva comfortable and working, then see what you'd change if you could and go from there.

Give yourself and your body a break; the art of pads and tampons wasn't perfected overnight for you, was it? It will take some time to get used to the cup, but it sounds like it will be worth it for you!
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:50 am (UTC)
Thanks! I trimmed it about halfway, and that helped a lot. I'll definitely check to see if it's another part that's irritating me- I hadn't thought of that.

Thanks for the encouragement. <3
Nanci Karvonen WillitsNanci Karvonen Willits on February 22nd, 2013 06:17 pm (UTC)
I've got a size 2 Diva and and XL Meluna classic. I had to trim the stem on the Diva to sit in my chaair at work comfortably, but the ball stem on the XL doesn't bother me a bit. Comparing the stiffness between the two I feel like the XL is much stiffer, but it is also black and I think I read that color is stiffer for some reason? It's not my favorite cup, but I need the capacity the first few days if I'm away from home and getting to a restroom is difficult. I'm almost ashamed to admit that the cup that I have the best luck with is one of the generic knockoffs. I bought it before I realized there was such a thing. It fits comfy and pops open super easily, and its the one I use most often. The Diva has become my spare left at work just in case.
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:54 am (UTC)
That's really helpful. I'm not crazy about the idea of not having any extra grip at the bottom, just in case, and I was hoping the ball stem might be a good compromise, since it seems like it's less textured.

I've seen people talking about the generics. Where do you even find those?
Nanci Karvonen WillitsNanci Karvonen Willits on February 23rd, 2013 11:10 am (UTC)
Mine came from a co-op I'm a member of. I've seen the same pic on EBay, and mentioned here as a Jasmine cup I think. But, like I said, by the time I realized it was a knockoff, I already owned it. (and liked it).
tauqtauq on February 22nd, 2013 11:43 pm (UTC)
I have the same size 1 Diva and would agree with Carmellah - Keep the stem as it is for a full cycle and see how it goes.

When I first started with mine, I seemed to ALWAYS notice it, but I think that's because I was always thinking about it. I started out by cutting off the stem one notch at a time until I was comfortable (I didn't want to cut off too much since I was worried I wouldn't be able to get it!).

I also found it helped to make the cut edges somewhat smoother by trimming the rougher edges at a downward angle toward the middle. Eventually, you'll find a length of stem that's good for you.

If you try it for a few cycles, even trying it inside out to see if you can go without a stem, and it still bothers you, THEN I would look into trying another cup.

Good luck! :)
The Devil's Advocateshrapnelshrike on February 23rd, 2013 05:57 am (UTC)
I'll definitely try that trick for smoothing out the edges! And I have been a lot more aware of my body than usual, since I'm trying something new, so I will keep that in mind and give myself some more time to adjust.