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activistmind
So I'm pretty new to the world of menstrual cups and they're great! I'm on my second time using my DivaCup, and have no problem with the insertion or popping open of it. I only have two issues.

1: when I remove my cup there is usually a mess that ends up on my hands. I remove it sitting on the toilet, pinching and carefully rocking it back and forth until it gets far up enough for me to break the seal completely. No matter how careful I am with this I always get blood on my hands when removing. Is there a better way to do this?

2: I'm 17, so my friends and I share everything and it's never awkward. I hear all about their sex lives so I assumed it was safe to tell them about my cup. I tried to explain the health benefits and the fact that millions of tampons are just sitting in a landfill somewhere, they didn't care. They made fun of me and now bring it up pretty often to laugh at me. How is it okay to talk about blowjobs in front of me (and I'm a lesbian so you can imagine..) but I cant talk about my menstrual cycle, something we all have in common? How do I get them to take me seriously? I'm not trying to like "convert" them or anything, I just wanted to let them know there were other options, and now they are being jerks to me. I don't even bring it up, but for some reason they do.
(and these aren't just random "sorta friends", these are my BEST friends. so it is very strange for them to do this)
 
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on February 3rd, 2013 10:44 pm (UTC)
I think with your friends you may be encountering the problem that in a very real sense, the menstrual cycle is still taboo in Western society - probably it wouldn't be much easier to have the "tampons vs. pads" conversation with them, and cups are very much different and not generally accepted. You've let them know about it, and some of them may surprise you at a later point. If they continue to tease you about it, I'd suggest telling them forthrightly to drop it.
Thora: Delvianthoraofthenord on February 3rd, 2013 11:51 pm (UTC)
Agreed with the last user. Or you could tell them how often people find mold in tampons that haven't been used yet. Seriously. It's enough of an issue that companies have blanket statements they send out when customers complain about it. Anyway, don't let it get to you.

As for the first problem, try squatting (not over a toilet). When I first started using cups I removed mine over the toilet thinking it'd be easier, but I always wound up with a mess. If I remove it while squatting though, there's only a mess if it's *REALLY* full, and that's in the form of a drop or two.
a DJ who lived in seclusionknittinggoddess on February 4th, 2013 08:34 am (UTC)
Do you have any more examples of mold in tampins besides that Kotex one from last year?
Thora: Delvianthoraofthenord on February 4th, 2013 11:09 am (UTC)
I googled it after that last year, and yeah, you can find a lot if you dig enough. I don't have time to repeat it right now though.
carmellahcarmellah on February 10th, 2013 02:11 pm (UTC)
Mold in tampons??? *shocked*
juliiie87juliiie87 on February 3rd, 2013 11:53 pm (UTC)
Agreeing with Tisiphone.

Also, you may not realise it yet, but at 17 most people worry a lot about what others will think about them, and this means that, for the most part, teens feel a pressure to conform to their peers, on one hand, and to what society as a whole generally labels as "normal" and commonly accepted. Disposable pads and tampons have been commonly accepted for decades now, so your friends (and most of "society" as a whole) simply don't know any better at this point, and moreover, are afraid to reconsider what they are used to, and have been told is the "normal", acceptable way. So most likely, your friends feel the need to challenge you for being "different" in this regard, just so they can feel more "normal" and generally better about themselves. It sucks, but basically it's not their fault that there's such a stigma around periods, which makes them even more suspicious of anything new and non-conventional.

If it makes you feel any better, my friends in their 20's are generally more pragmatic towards this stuff and several of them have embraced the idea, a few have even gotten their own cup. It also helps to speak about this kind of thing one on one, so there isn't a peer dynamic involved.

Regarding removal mess, I find it's worse if the cup is nearly full, so you could try emptying more often if that's manageable. Another factor would be to insert before your period starts so the outside of the cup remains blood-free. It also helps to have wads of TP on your lap to wipe yourself and your hand. Other than that, you should very likely get better at this over time. :)

Edited to add : have you seen this ? It might cheer you up and give you some good points, if you wish to retort : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zj4NhC8ahM&feature=youtu.be
Personnally, if your friends are pad users I'd point out everything you can do with a cup (swimming, sports, wear sexy underwear) and how much more comfortable it is, and if they are tampon users, I'd say tampons are bleached, scratchy, full of chemicals when they're not moldy, and generally just worse for your health (TSS is real, young girls die from it). Not to mention the environment and cost, which people care about to various degrees.

Edited at 2013-02-04 12:07 am (UTC)
KaleidoscopeEydkaleidoscopeeyd on April 1st, 2014 05:28 pm (UTC)
Lol I don't have sound but tampon vs mooncup rap battle just sounds hilarious.
Michellemichelleh324 on February 4th, 2013 12:27 am (UTC)
Get them one each for their birthdays.
Keekeestone on February 4th, 2013 12:35 am (UTC)
Have you mentioned to them how weird it is that they have no problem talking about blowjobs but menstrual cups are too oogy for them to handle? It may not change anybody's behavior immediately (since as tisiphone mentioned, menstruation still is kind of a taboo subject and as juliiie87 mentioned, conformity is kind of a big deal), but it might give one or two of them something to think about and come to their own decision on.

Edited at 2013-02-04 12:36 am (UTC)
activistmindactivistmind on February 4th, 2013 01:36 am (UTC)
thank you guys so much! i tried squatting to remove it instead of sitting on the toilet and no mess!
and next time my friends bring it up ill tell them to lay off.
Jennifer Monoteasy2begreen on February 4th, 2013 02:56 am (UTC)
It sounds like your friends are acting defensively about something new and foreign to them. My first reaction to cups was pretty negative as well. I think if you ask them to drop it without becoming upset, they will move on to another subject...I wouldn't be too surprised if a few of them later become curious about cups!
Ashatenlegspider on February 4th, 2013 11:42 am (UTC)
Yes, I was going to say this. Don't tell them that their way is gross, it'll make them more defensive and is exactly what they're doing to you so it'll just reinforce the current dynamic. Do your best to be cool, don't react when they're being dicks, and soon enough they'll get bored. They already know now that cups exist and can work for people like them. Some may get over themselves all on their own, others will find it less weird next time they're exposed to the idea. It's all about normalisation, but it takes time.
juliiie87juliiie87 on February 4th, 2013 01:24 pm (UTC)
After giving it some thought, I actually agree with tenlegspider : don't fuel the fire. Be cool, you already know how awesome cups are, if they don't want to face the truth, it's their loss. Just don't make excuses for yourself, you way is no more "gross" than theirs, just different, and it works well for you, that's all that matters. If you act cool and like you're not bothered by their opinion, they'll lose interest and drop the subject.
mood_swinger23 on February 4th, 2013 03:25 am (UTC)
For the mess, I always tilt towards the inside of the toilet if I'm sitting on it, if that makes sense?

I agree with everything here. And I mean, you could take the immature approach and tell them how disgusting blow jobs are (at least to you?) (How they probably end up swallowing pee at some point because their fb's probably don't clean well enough?) I dunno. I like Julie's idea about just rubbing it all the negatives... moldy, scratchy tampons. Dogs tearing through tampons thinking they're toys. The money they're wasting. Etc. (Pad users= not sitting on diapers.) Other things: No wrappers so the people you live with don't have to know. Instead cups (and apparently some others) can be used during sex (yeah, try to tell them to shut you up with that one!). I also had a negative idea at first. Then I saw them again and it sat better. So maybe some time they'll give in, too.

I think telling them to buzz off, or giving them a hard time about using gross, moldy, chemicaled products whose wrappers make noise in public and leave evidence behind, etc, is really your best bet. They just think their way is the right way and aren't open minded to new ideas. They're the ones missing out! (And are unfortunately being real jerks about it, and I feel your pain!)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on February 4th, 2013 06:38 pm (UTC)
Grandma sayings:
What the farmer don't know, the farmer don't want.
and
It's hard to keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Paris (pronounced pa-REE.)

As others have said, it's a whole different world once you're out of High School. Just ignore their remarks and be smug in your new-found freedom with cups. It's not worth losing friends over. But yes, it's disappointing that they're so closed minded and judgemental.
moonhoney925 on February 5th, 2013 02:54 am (UTC)
Agreed, they are 17YO's. They may change their minds when they have to start paying for their own sanitary supplies or if they have children and find that there are other things that they would rather spend money on.

Honestly if someone had told me about menstrual cups when I was 17, I would have been grossed out too but I was an immature virgin back then and anything that required "sticking up there" would have been disgusting regardless.

As I've gotten older I have become more environmentally conscious and I'd rather spend the $100.00 a year on food and things for my children than on tampons.
okwaho_okaraokwaho_okara on February 5th, 2013 02:51 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry that you are going through that with this :( I have only shared this with a few friends, and none of them have ridiculed me. Then again, I am in my mid-20's, no longer a teen (much to my dismay lol, oh, to be young(er) again!)

I hope that they will come around.

I know it's easier said than done, but, try not to let what they say get to you. They probably just find it "icky" (I don't see how a cup is but a tampon isn't personally....) and I doubt (and I really hope) that they aren't actually trying to hurt you.

Keep your chin up, keep using your cup, and don't let them dissuade you.