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16 January 2013 @ 03:03 pm
I know this has probably been asked and answered a million billion times, but I feel so stupid. This is my first cup experience and I just want to collapse on the floor and give up.

Issue 1: I am very obese (size 28-30 pants) and while I have no trouble cleaning myself or inserting tampons, I am having a very hard time getting this Diva Cup in. Does anyone have suggestions?

Issue 2: I think I have a small vaginal opening. I don't know. I'm not a virgin, but I'm not sexually active - in fact, I haven't been with another person in over a year, maybe closer to two. I have toys that I occasionally use, but even that's been a while.

So. I think I'm about to start my period (maybe today, maybe tomorrow) so I'm practicing with the Diva Cup. I got the small size, even though I'm over 30, because of issue 2 above. But I'm having one HELL of a time getting that bastard in.

I *think* I have it in now, but the instructions say to turn it a full rotation after it's in, and it wouldn't turn. Also, when I put my pants back on, it felt like I had an air bubble in there or something. It doesn't hurt, so there's that, and I can't really feel it unless I shift around and concentrate on trying to feel it.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is there any way to know if I have it in right, or do I just need to wait and try it with a pad after I actually start and see if it leaks? Any other suggestions?
Megan: Dangerous to go alonehdsqrl on January 16th, 2013 09:24 pm (UTC)
First, HUGS. Don't feel stupid - we've all been there. :)

Next, I strongly suggest waiting until your period starts before trying again. Your body while menstruating is SO different, I promise. And it will be a TON easier after you start.

That whole "spin the cup" thing is not required - what you're really looking for is for the base of the cup to feel equal all the way around, as a sign that it's not still squished down somewhere along the line. Which, when you're not fully...well...lubricated, like you will be once you start, it's hard to get that thing to open all the way anyway.

So, breathe, relax, and then try again when your period starts. Use a pad for backup until you're comfortable going without. (I still use cloth liners as backup, even when I'm sure the cup is in correctly, but I'm paranoid that way.) :)
Rainne: Castle - Beckett - Sweet Smilexdawnfirex on January 16th, 2013 09:28 pm (UTC)
Well, okay then. :)

Guess I should go take it out, huh? (lol)
teacupcake89 on January 16th, 2013 09:54 pm (UTC)
Don't worry, you've come to the right place and you're certainly not stupid! :)

have you read this post and comments 'The Virgin's Guide to Cups' ? http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.html#comments It's helpful for all new cup users so might be worth a look.

I would relax, wait for your period to start and use lots of lube or coconut oil on yourself to help with insertion. If you search the dry run and first time use tags you'll find loads of posts from cuper users struggling to use their cup pre-period! :)

Experiment with different folds see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep5hh0W-nFw

Experiment with different positions: sitting on the toilet, squatting, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, in the shower, one foot on the toilet seat etc.
in the beginning I found lying down on my bed with knees bent and feet on the bed or wide apart really helped me relax and I didn't have to hold myself open whilst trying to get the cup in. Perhaps this might be a comfortable position for you too? you could also try the positions you use for using sex toys/having sex :)

Ignore the instructions that say to twist or turn the cup, just run a finger around the base to check it has opened or tug gently on the stem.

this post has some good tips on getting cups to pop open etc: http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2618390.html#comments

Once you have removed it a couple of times and know where the cup likes to sit trim the stem if it's umcomfortable. If you think the cup is too long then try flipping it inside out to shorten it slightly.

the air bubble feeling is the air in the cup being displaced by discharge/blood etc, I often get it if the cup is opening up, or I have a large amount going into the cup at once, or if it's getting full. :)

these youtube videos by Melissa of menstrualcupinfo blog might help you with knowing more about insrtion, placement, removal etc :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfHF0p7X4MI and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLPBZz3uJEg

Good luck, you'll be fine! :)
Rainne: Castle - Beckett - Smilingxdawnfirex on January 16th, 2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
ohhh thank you so much. I really didn't know where to start - there's so much, it's overwhelming - so this was very helpful. Thank you!!!
Stephanieladycallie on January 17th, 2013 03:47 am (UTC)
I'm a 20 (us size) and I find striking a pirate or Captian Morgan pose in the shower is wonderfully simple and effective. I just put my foot on the side of the tub and swoosh my cup in. Remember to breathe and relax. You can always try again.
Darling Nikkijessiebanana on January 17th, 2013 07:32 am (UTC)
The opening to my vagina...not the actual internal walls that are elastic/accomadating, is actually on the smaller side (or at least I can get little tears) so for me fold is super important. I found almost all folds irritating somewhat until I discovered the 7/Triangle fold. It decreases rim and makes the cup very thin to slide in.
Jennnakedfaery on January 17th, 2013 09:51 am (UTC)
I also found the 7 fold much easier to get in. I'm obese (UK size 20) and find standing with one legged cocked on the toilet and my pelvis tilted forward gets my vagina at the right angle and flops my tummy out of the way.
Lady Felis of Domestica: avatarfelisd on January 21st, 2013 06:03 pm (UTC)
Oohhhhh yeah, I had the same problem about the twisting and turning the cup issue when I first started. All I ended up doing is pinching the sides of my vagina, which is NOT fun. Also, because I have short fingers and a small vagina, I could never reach the top of the cup to feel that the cup was all the way open.

What I ended up finding worked for me, is after using one of the many folds you can experiment with to get it in, bear down on the cup a bit. Then, stick your finger in and run it along the sides of the cup as far in as you can get your finger (if you can't reach the top part of the cup) to make sure there are no major folds or indents left in the cup. It took me a lot of practice (three or four cycles!) before I got the hang of it, so don't worry if the first couple of times, you end up with either issues getting it in, issues getting it out or some leakage, or (in my case anyway) a small murder scene on your toilet seat. You'll get there: I promise! The important thing is to breathe, relax, and remember that you're dealing with a part of your body that needs tlc...