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25 December 2012 @ 11:05 pm
Hello! I've been lurking here on and off for a while but this is my first time to need to post. I just started my first period (like an hour ago) since purchasing my large Lunette cup, and it's only the second period since the birth of my baby who is now 18 months old. I'm 25, married, and a mother of one. I'm not sure if that'll make a difference in how it sits, but my last period was definitely much lighter and shorter than it was before having the baby.

Before trying to insert, I reached in and could feel the cervix (or what I'm hoping is the cervix), read the instructions through twice, looked at YouTube for different folding techniques, and got started. I can get it in just fine but after walking around for a minute or two, the stem is extremely uncomfortable and gets to the point of painful at times. I go back to the restroom to push the cup back up but after walking a bit it moves back down. The stem isn't sticking out but it's right at the edge and it's poking the inner labia, which is what's causing my discomfort. Other than the stem, I don't feel it at all.

Should I trim the stem down or wait a day or two and try it again? I keep reading that the cervix moves higher during the cycle and I'm afraid that if I trim it that I won't be able to get the cup back out again. If I do trim it, how do I do so in a manner that will make it comfortable and not sharp?

Thanks so much!
 
Darling Nikkijessiebanana on December 26th, 2012 07:34 am (UTC)
If you can feel your cervix, you shouldn't have any problem reaching your cup without a stem especially with the Lunette having grip rings on the cup. It would have to move drastically. Also, maybe it's just me, but my cervix gets lower during my period, not higher. If that's the case in general, then where your cervix is now will be the highest it will ever be on your period. I'm hoping other members will chime in.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on December 26th, 2012 08:46 am (UTC)
well, it IS possible to have a higher cervix on the light days. but if your period is light right now, your cervix is likely to remain where it is.
also, try and see if cutting off just a part of the stem can help, as it's not actually sticking out.
also, most likely you are doing everything right and the cup just moves down because it wants, but you could try a different fold to see if it helps. for the small lunette, both me and my mum have found the labia fold good in this regard. but i couldn't even do the labia fold with the large lunette specimen i saw in a store in finland - the cup was too stiff lol. still, it shouldn't hurt to experiment a bit.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on December 26th, 2012 02:26 pm (UTC)
Don't be so quick to trim it. You can always trim it later but you can never put any back. Get through this cycle and maybe the next before deciding.

Because the Lunette has a flat tab, try inserting the cup so the tab faces - instead of | or / instead of \. Sometimes that makes a difference.

Personally, I like having the stem as sort of an "anchor" even though I can sometimes notice it -- especially on my sensitive BLECH days.
m03m on December 29th, 2012 10:14 am (UTC)
If I'd stuck to the advice you're giving above, I would have tossed my cup out of the window within three days. I could never have worn either of my cups with the stem still on, I would have been rubbed raw.

As always, Your Vag May Vary. :-)
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 26th, 2012 03:11 pm (UTC)
Where the cups sit is not up to you to decide, and that'll usually be (o) around your cervix. Since you mentionned you're a young mom, I'm wondering if you pelvic floor muscles might be a little out of shape, hence why the cup drops ? just a theory. Kegels and squat should help over time if that's the case.

Like someone suggested, you could just trim a tiny bit off, or just try positionning it differently (I don't know how flexible your is, but some stems you could sort of tuck in). Usually your cervix should be at its highest in between two periods (around ovulation time), and at its lowest when your bleeding starts. But it's not an exact science, your milage may vary. There's been suggestions (from Melissa at "Menstrual cups info") to trim off your stem like this \_/ or try to make it more rounded at the edge instead of straight angles, using nail clippers or curvy nails scissors.

Edited at 2012-12-26 03:12 pm (UTC)
loveswool on December 27th, 2012 03:34 am (UTC)
Thanks for the replies! Well, I left it in overnight last night and it didn't feel too bad this morning but was awful to remove and insert back in! It was more comfortable to wear this morning (just a bit more, still uncomfortable though) but was leaking so I took it out, washed it, and reinserted. Reinsertion was easier and it didn't leak again, but it was less comfortable and I felt like I was being rubbed raw on the inside. I tried twisting it every now and then to have the stem at different angles but it didn't help.

When It started becoming painful again I took it out and cut off one "nub" of the stem and rounded it out with nail clippers. It was a bit better but is still rubbing. The stem isn't poking me in a painful manner anymore, but I do still feel like I'm being raw on the inside. So much so that I'm ready to go buy a box of pads because I don't even think I want a tampon in there :( . I do have some cloth liners as cup backup, but I didn't buy any pads as I didn't think it would be painful to wear the cup.

I'm going to leave it in overnight again and hope for the best in the morning. If it becomes painful again tomorrow I'll probably cut off another "nub" off of the stem since it's been mentioned that I was wrong and that the cervix stays low during menstruation instead of going higher. For some reason I was thinking it went higher because I read people saying they cut off the stem and then it went in higher so they had a hard time getting it out. I'm sorry for my confusion and newbie-ness. The stem rubbing and poking the inside is still my only issue.
mood_swinger23 on December 27th, 2012 08:50 am (UTC)
For some people, it does. My cervix gets higher as the week goes on.

As for the pain-- are you sure it's being caused by the stem alone? Are you sure it's opening all the way and it's not poking at your insides being only half open? With removal, are you pinching the bottom and breaking the seal at all or just yanking it out?

Did you try tucking the stem in at all?

Tired atm and not really thinking straight. Just wanted to say that my cervix gets higher...
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 27th, 2012 12:26 pm (UTC)
Sorry, reading myself I realise that I wasn't clear : it's usually lower at the beginning of a period, and it can definitely ride up some as it goes on. Of course if it's uncomfortable, feel free to trim it some more, if the stem is truely what is causing your pain. Worst that can happen, you'll have to bear down a bit more for removal, but you should be fine.

Edited at 2012-12-27 01:56 pm (UTC)
loveswool on December 27th, 2012 08:02 pm (UTC)
Well, I left it in overnight and it leaked, but I may just not have emptied it early enough. It hasn't been painful to wear today for the most part but it has been leaking a little so that's disappointing. It' still uncomfortable when I walk but I don't feel it when I sit. I'm hoping to get this figured out soon! I'm also going through toilet paper like crazy trying to keep everything somewhat clean during insertion and removal! I may have to invest in some cloth wipes too, or steal my daughter's from her diaper stash.

To answer some questions:

Yes, I'm absolutely positive it's the stem. It was only causing pain and irritation right at the very opening of the vagina on the inside. I'm not sure what it means to tuck the stem unless it's to try to slide the stem up next to the cup. If that's the case, no I can't do that.

I've been trying to make sure that the seal is created by sliding a finger up next to it to make sure that it's completely open, pulling it back down a bit and twisting, then pushing back up into place.

For removal, I am pinching the base to break the seal. The morning that that was painful, I think I was just really sore from messing with it so much the evening before.
Darling Nikkijessiebanana on December 28th, 2012 07:16 am (UTC)
As this point your vagina is irritated and it needs a break. I suggest getting some pads. When I got my first cup, the new bell shaped MeLuna, it was such a terrible fit for me I irritated myself trying to insert it properly. I had to take a break and let myself heal, by next period I gave it short shot, but ultimately used my new cup the MINI MeLuna, which worked for me easy with no issues. Even if I had had the 2nd cup the first time around, I probably would have had a negative experience because of the previous irritation.

I don't think cutting the stem off is this huge scary thing though, at least not for you. You seem like you have no problem reaching your cup. I think you should listen to your body. I started with a ball stem cause I knew a stem would be more of a problem.

Edited at 2012-12-28 07:17 am (UTC)
loveswool on December 28th, 2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
Can your cervix be higher in the morning and lower in the afternoon? It's been comfortable this morning, but it was almost comfortable yesterday morning and then irritating again in the afternoon.

Last night around 9 pm I went ahead and cut off another "notch" off of the stem and it's been comfortable this morning. No leaks last night or this morning.
Darling Nikkijessiebanana on December 28th, 2012 05:57 pm (UTC)
I'm no cervix expert, but since your cervix moves higher when aroused it seems totally conceivable it could move around different times during the day.
loveswool on December 29th, 2012 05:02 am (UTC)
It was comfortable pretty much all day today and no leaking except just a little bit of residue which I guess is from that time between taking it out and putting it back in. I may cut a bit more off to make it where I don't feel it at all, but I'll wait another cycle or so to see if I can stand it like this or not.

Thanks for the input ladies!
loveswool on December 29th, 2012 06:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the replies and advice!

Today is the last day of my cycle and I don't feel it at all. So during the course of the week, I trimmed the stem about 2/3 off. I feel like my cervix is at it's lowest during the heaviest time of my cycle so I'll see during the next cycle at that point if I need to go ahead and trim the stem all the way off or not as I have no problems reaching the bottom of the cup without the stem.

I don't know why I was so scared to cut it! I suppose it's because I kept reading women who cut it off and then couldn't reach it anymore.

I'm so excited to have it finally figured out! Now that it's comfortable I love it! I should have just trimmed the stem down from the beginning, but oh well.

Thank you ladies!
tjstjstjstjstjstjs on January 5th, 2013 10:48 am (UTC)
I can't leave the stems on with mine, the cup literally sits on an angle, so the stem would be stabbing me at the back (or colon side) of my vaginal wall. I don't know if other people have experienced that too?
I cut mine half off, waited an hour to see if I needed it, and cut the rest off. Never looked back.
If you can reach your cervix with your finger, you're not in dire need of a whole stem.
Glad to see you figured it out :D