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01 December 2012 @ 07:42 pm
Hi all!

I've been planning on getting myself a proper cup for a while now (I've been using Softcups for the past few cycles) and now that I finally have the funds I'm going to order one. Thing is, I have absolutely no idea where to start and there's so much choice in size, firmness, stems, brands, and a million other things it's making my head spin a little bit. So I'm going to list some concerns/thoughts here, and if someone could help me by recommending cups or pointing me in the right direction that would be superb :)

I'm 19, not a virgin anymore but I've only had sex a few times and only with another woman. Penetration can be really painful for me because my muscles are tense down there a lot of the time and I think the entrance to my vagina is pretty small/my hymen is still in-tact, somehow. Like two fingers hurts unless I've taken ages to relax and get into it. That said, I never had much of a problem getting the softcups in after the first time or two. As far as length, when I'm standing up and bearing down a little I can poke at my cervix pretty easily, but I can't touch it at all it if I'm lying down or sitting (and I have pretty long fingers). I don't know whether I count as a small, medium, or large, but I think I probably need a narrow one, right?

I feel like my cervix kind of sticks out of the front wall of my vagina and sticks either straight out towards the back wall or angles upwards a little, but I can't tell for sure. That's normal, right? It's not going to interfere with using a cup?

Like I said, I have pretty good pelvic muscles and my vagina curves forwards rather sharply after my pubic bone, so I'm worried a longer cup might be flattened a little bit and leak. 

I was looking at the Lily Cup (http://www.intimina.com/en/lily_cup_pd.php) because the shape seems comfortable and easy to instert, and it looks like it will hook behind my cervix a little bit. And they're kind of cute, to be honest. Does anyone know if they're any good, how firm they are, stuff like that? It's a bit on the expensive side but if it's worth it I'd be okay with shelling out the money now and saving on disposable stuff.

I live in Canada so anything made here or that can be shipped here without crazy international shipping prices would be awesome. 

Thanks in advance for any and all help. I really appreciate it!
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on December 8th, 2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
It sounds like you've already been to the size charts. http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ The 3-6mm difference in rim width really doesn't matter much, especially since you've already been using Insteads successfully.

No matter what brand of cup you choose and despite what the instructions/illustrations say, the rim will probably sit (O) around your cervix, however high or low it might be that day. And the base of the cup will follow suit.

The Diva is the longest-bodied of the cups at 57mm and many find it to be too long. The new Lily is either 77mm or 88mm including the integrated stem, which we don't yet know how "trimmable" it is or what the length of the cup without it will be. So with the stem, unless you have a really high cervix/long vagina, it will probably poke out.

Edited for bad wording and clarity.

Edited at 2012-12-08 07:39 pm (UTC)
ant1matterant1matter on December 8th, 2012 10:54 pm (UTC)
Thanks for taking the time to reply :)

I've looked at the charts and such and they make sense, but I had no idea where to start. I'll wait till my period starts, measure as best I can and take another look at the charts.

Looking around at other cups I'm realizing the Lily cup is probably too long for me and I have some others in mind. Thanks again!
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 8th, 2012 07:21 pm (UTC)
Sorry if this isn't a magic answer as to which cup to buy, but just a few pointers.

The way I can reach my cervix most easily is by inserting my longest finger while squating and maybe bearing down a little. Preferably at the beginning of your period as its position may vary over your cycle. Then you can measure your finger with a ruler, and translate that figure to mms so you can compare it to the numbers on the size charts. It's not an exact science, and you can count a little bit of extra, especially if there is room around your cervix for the cup to encircle it. You just don't want a super short cup if you can barely reach it, nor one much longer than your finger if you can reach it easily.

It seems like the Lily cup is long (as in, longer than any cup including the stem), narrow and fairly flexible, but unfortunately no one on this community has come up with a detailed review yet... I think Melissa is on it though, and I came across a few comments from the french language comm'. They also said it had a fairly strong suction, so you had to reach higher than most cups to break the seal. The Divacup is what can be purchased locally, it fits those with at least 5 cm of room, maybe less if flipped incide out. It's of medium stiffness and capacity, if your flow is very heavy there are higher capacity cups for those dimensions. Fleurcup.com ships worldwide for a sandard fee (and yay! there's a sale this week-end!!), and I hear femininewear.co.uk is fairly decent too (but see for yourself), so don't worry, not all international ordering results in crazy shipping fees. Ordering from Canada (for me), on the other hand... :/

How tight you think you are is mostly a factor of your muscles, so you need to learn to relax them for smooth cup use. A softer cup is usually easier to fold tight for insertion and removal, and they work for most people, with the exception of the ones with super strong core muscles, who do a lot of yoga, pilates, weightlifiting and what not. Those usually prefer a firm cup to stand against their flesh better. So hum, I think you should be fine with a medium soft cup ? I usually recommend something 2 to 4 on the stiffness chart, with the possible exception of the medium Meluna which I don't think is a real 6.. OK sorry, time to cut the ramblings ! Ask questions if you have any.
ant1matterant1matter on December 8th, 2012 11:31 pm (UTC)
That was very helpful rambling, trust me :)

I'm going to get a proper measurement when my next period starts, take another look at the chart, and try to narrow down some choices. You're right, I'm pretty sure the Lily cup will be too long (darn it in all it's soft pink cuteness).

After doing more "research" and thinking about the type of thing I want to have up my vagina a whole bunch I think I've come up with some other contenders. I was looking at the Fleurcup because of the shipping and the shape looks really comfortable but the ridges on the bottom and the stem deter me a little. Tampons and their strings make my vagina angry when I sit down wrong, so I'm pretty 'ehhh' about that. I was looking at MeLuna as well because they have the ring and ball stems and they're pretty cheap. I was also-also looking at Lunette but again with the ridges on the stem. Basically one that's smooth on the outside (a pronounced rim should be fine/help hold it in place).

It's really good to know about the softness, because I was worried that getting one that's too soft would mean leaks everywhere but again, angry sensitive vagina which makes me want a fairly soft one.

Thank you for helping out! I'm sorry my response is probably badly worded and confusing but starting anxiety meds a few days ago has turned my usual eloquence into semi-coherent waffling. Bluh.

Thanks again! :)
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 9th, 2012 12:05 am (UTC)
Well, similar to the Fleurcup, very soft and smooth is the Si-bell, 5 euros off with coupon code FETES until the end of the year, no idea about shipping though, so maybe see with FW instead. The grips are there to help get a hold of the cup, so it's good to have some... and from experience I think what you feel most is whatever ends up right near the entrance, and any stem hanging around there should be trimmed down to where your vag shouldn't be as sensitive, or at least that's how it seems to work for most people. How's that for awesome customization : http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2387402.html

(Don't worry about eloquence, I'm in bed at this time and only trying my best at the english language myself.)
ant1matterant1matter on December 9th, 2012 12:39 am (UTC)
Wow, that is pretty nicely done. I like to think I'm handy enough to pull that off if I really need to :D The Si-bell looks really nice as well.

So I did some poking around and a finger (3.25 inches exactly) can barely touch my cervix... the base of it. And the reason I can only touch the base of it is because it really does, literally, point upwards. There is no way in hell I can smoosh any cup in there to make a seal around it, because it'd have to be sideways. I did some google-fu and found out that this is considered a "very posterior cervix". So I guess I get one that fits within that 3.25 inches of wiggle room and hope for the best? I know I'm kind of accosting you with a random question that probably has no answer other than "give it a try" but if you can give me anything, that would be great. You have been immensely helpful :)

Again, apologies for the rambling.
juliiie87juliiie87 on December 9th, 2012 09:42 pm (UTC)
To be honest I'm terrible at picturing things in 3D... If you ask me my cervix seems to stem from my a**hole, which I know is not physically possible, perhaps we are actually similar ? But I'm not sure what you mean by sideways. Google taught me a posterior uterus should be pointing rearwards, then again, I'm having a hard time matching this with your descritption. I'd say not to worry about it until you've tried a cup. And fyi, 3.25 inches sounds like you'll need a long cup, but then again it'll be more accurate on your period.
ant1matterant1matter on December 10th, 2012 12:43 am (UTC)
Another way to describe it... if I'm standing up, it points at a 45-ish degree angle towards my lower back. It probably doesn't help that I'm really bad at describing things spatially :/

Anyways, thank you again for letting me overthink things and spew them in your general direction. Time to take all this new knowledge, get a freakin' cup already and see how it goes from there.