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Bess7
27 September 2012 @ 06:00 pm
Hello everyone, I discovered this forum today and reading your comments is making me feel better in knowing I'm not the only one having trouble as a first timer! 

I'm 25 and still a virgin. I brought my Femmecup only yesterday and was eager to try it straight away. I'm going to the beach next Tuesday and it coincides with my period so I wanted to get used to the cup so I wouldn't have any problems during my holiday! 

So I boiled it up for about 10 minutes, let it cool and then gave it a try. I tried the punch fold as it seemed a smaller fold. It was definitely hard. It hurt quite a bit getting it in (I did try aiming back instead of up like I'd read) but I kept going as I didn't want to give up! I finally got it in but feeling around the edge it seemed to be folded still, so I tried pushing it side to side and I think it eventually opened up. It felt really uncomfortable inside (I thought I wouldn't feel it at all... maybe it wasn't all the way in?). 

I then tried taking it out... it was absolutely awful! I could never break the seal even though I'd gotten hold of the base with thumb and forefinger and was pressing and trying to turn it one way and another. Every time I pulled it down slightly I could feel the suction inside me and it hurt a lot. I tried pushing with my muscles and that helped getting it down, but I kept pulling and I kept feeling the suction. Even though it hurt a lot I was panicking so much I just pulled it out whichever way I could, I didn't want it to stay stuck in there! 

I think I broke my hymen as there was some blood. But it didn't hurt so much after it was out, and I slipped a pad on so I wouldn't stain my underwear but there was no more blood after that. 

I gave it a few hours (until I didn't feel any pain and wasn't uncomfortable) and tried again. I think it was easier to insert (but maybe that was because I was more lubricated as I noticed my fingers got some blood on them) and I think I got it right because I'm wearing it right now and can hardly feel it inside of me. I'm leaving it in for a while so I can get used to it, but I'm dreading getting it out again... 

Any tips to break the seal and stop the painful suction?? Thanks!

**EDIT**

Hi everyone! I'm very grateful to all of you for your comments, advice, tips and overall help and support. I wanted to let you know I have successfully completed my first period with my cup. Like I said, it was really uncomfortable in the beginning (specially removing it) but your different tips helped and I gradually got used to what worked for me. Turns out the 'hot dog in a bun' thing is effective (I don't have to put all 3 fingers up there, I just start folding it at the base and as it's gradually coming out I try my best to fold it so it will be easier to remove).

Getting it in there is noooo trouble at all, I'm super impressed! haha... Removing it still takes a little more time and it might hurt a little for like a second or 2 while I pull it all the way out, but I think I'm getting better at it with each try. I was also forced to empty it in 2 or 3 public restrooms and was happy that I was able to do it (a bit noisily though... kind of embarrassing). 

I still have one more question thought... to all of you who have used a cup when swimming. It seems to me that water can and will get up there and fill the cup, which means the cup might overflow and liquid might escape it. I could feel little gushes of warmth trickling down and it was kind of uncomfortable because I felt like I might get a stain or have reddish water run down my leg. I don't think I did though, but I did get a small stain in my bathing suit a couple of times, which is fine, but I'd rather not have to worry about a big stain when my flow is heavier. Any similar experiences, comments or tips on the subject? 

Thanks again to everyone :) 
 
Megan: GangstaCathdsqrl on September 28th, 2012 12:59 am (UTC)
I'm finishing up my second cycle using my Diva cup, and I have to say - this whole cup insertion/removal thing is SOOOO much easier when you're actually having your period. I tried doing the dry-run as well when my cup first came in, and got very worried that a cup just wasn't going to work for me, for the same sort of reasons you're noting in your post. I know we have different cups, but unless someone speaks up with other advice, I'd say to stop trying to make this work when you're not actually on your period.

As for breaking the suction, for me (granted, this is when I'm actually on my period, so everything is squishier and wetter and just generally more cooperative), I pull my cup down far enough for me to grip the base, then I angle it sideways a little while at the same time, sliding a finger up and in until I can reach the top edge of the cup. That's usually enough to get the dang thing out. Kind of like how you fold it or punch it down to get it in? Do the same thing in reverse, and see how that works for you. :)

Good luck!
Bess7bess7 on September 28th, 2012 01:44 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for replying. I have read a few comments that say it's a lot easier when you're having your period, so I guess after getting the cup out tonight I will give it a rest until I do.

I didn't try sliding my finger up to the edge of the cup, I'm not sure I'll be able to but I'll try it and see how it goes.

Thanks for your help! :)
lizsterineglizsterineg on September 28th, 2012 01:58 am (UTC)
I can't reach all the way to the rim of my cup to break the seal with my finger when getting it out. So what I do is I pinch the bottom, gently coax it down with muscles pushing and hand pulling (I start doing this holding the stem with my nails a bit for grip).

I don't have to bring it all the way down, just enough to pinch the bottom a fair bit. Holding with index and middle finger on one side and thumb on the other I aim to push my thumb through my fingers (like the "I got your nose" thing...if you know what I mean). This then causes the cup to do a bit of a C-fold and then breaks the seal to allow it to slide down easier.

Like the other commenter said, on your period is much easier. Muscles are a bit more relaxed and things are more slippy-slidey for easier cup maneuvers.

Good luck, you'll get there eventually. Takes a bit of time and patience, but it will happen. Most of us have been through this and now feel like cup pros! ;)
Bess7bess7 on September 28th, 2012 03:28 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for your advice. I will try it right now and let you both know how it goes. I'm looking forward to feeling like a pro, haha! :)

The thing you say about the C-fold, doesn't that cause the blood to spill (when you're on your period obviously)?

Thanks again! :)

EDIT: So... I removed it. It was better than the first time I tried, only because I didn't panic. It was easy to bring it a bit lower by pushing with my muscles, but it was still really hard breaking the seal. I tried folding it into a kind of C-fold but there was really no room to place my index and middle fingers and thumb in there so I couldn't really do it. Then I tried getting one finger all the way up to the rim, and I kind of reached but even though I pushed my finger against it it wouldn't break the seal. I kept hearing some air escaping (getting in?) from time to time but nothing seemed to budge, I still felt it sucking on me :| I eventually got it a bit further out by pushing with my muscles and simultaneously pulling on the cup, when it was lower it finally released the seal, but as it was really low it started hurting quite a bit, so I tried to fold it and I kind of succeeded but it still really hurt when I pulled it all the way out (it was just too big).

It was really messy... blood all over my hands. I'll just go mourn the loss of my hymen now :(

Edited at 2012-09-28 03:48 am (UTC)
lizsterineglizsterineg on September 28th, 2012 04:11 am (UTC)
Yeah, the C-fold thing can be a bit messy when my cup is quite full. Only happens about 2 days of my cycle. Those days I generally try and empty while in the shower so the mess isn't an issue. It used to be messier, but experience helps that.

As for your tightness, see how you go actually on your period. I find there's a far bit of room to squeeze my finger along with the cup (that's how I check it's open) during the middle section of my cycle. It's not as easy at the very beginning and end of my cycle.

It's also a new, strange thing for your body at the moment, so you'll be involuntarily tensing your muscles which will make it harder.

Keep reading things here to get ideas of what to try to find the methods that best work for you. We are all different, so one persons solution might not be for another. I found my removal method by reading posts on this community and trying different things. You'll find yours.
Bess7bess7 on September 29th, 2012 03:56 am (UTC)
Thanks again! I'm really happy with all the responses I'm getting, and I am getting a lot of good ideas for when I try it next (which will be when I get my period). I'll let you guys know how it goes, hopefully I'll get the hang of it soon :)
juliiie87juliiie87 on September 28th, 2012 10:10 am (UTC)
This, is what some of us refer to as the hot-dog in a bun method, where you finger (usually the middle one) makes the sausage and the cup makes the bun. Try inserting your finger under the cup, along the bottom wall of your vagina, and then make the "come here" motion to drag it down and out. You can also try refolding it a little (partial punch down or c-fold) when it's low enough to where you can use the tip of your thumb to pinch it.

The key with this method, is to get air between your flesh and the cup, so it isn't stuck to it anymore. I find it's the best method for soft cups, which can create a strong suction with the pinch and pull method.

And most importantly, bear down and stay very relaxed ! The more relaxed and lubricated you are, the less pain. For dry runs, water or a dab of lube on yourself can ease things in and out.

PS : I know this must be scary, but the loss of your hymen is not, imo, something to be mourned. Yay for being able to use your vagina, for function or pleasure !
Bess7bess7 on September 29th, 2012 04:00 am (UTC)
Ok, I think I understand the hot-dog in a bun method, so you're supposed to bend your finger inwards towards the cup 'hooking' it on your finger so you can then pull it out, right?

I'll give it a go next time I try it and let you know how it goes, thanks so much for the help and advice! :)

About the hymen, I knew it could (and probably would) break, it just felt kind of weird but it's not bothering me much any more :)
juliiie87juliiie87 on September 29th, 2012 01:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, whether you just press the cup into a c-fold or bring the rim down in a partial punch down pretty much depends on how high you can reach. I know I do a bit of both, but I find it convenient to sort of drag the whole she-bang out with that one finger, using my nail to anchor on the cup too. But try this in the shower or on the toilet as it can be messy at first ! And don't forget to use your free hand to support the cup and avoid it falling down the toilet. ;)

EDIT : and now that I read the other comments and think again, my method is probably better suited for a light flow. That one time my cup was overflowing, I experienced the gory hand effect, because I had no idea how to deal with such a flood. Now I suspect I'd better try to gently pinch and rock the cup out. But as you've found out, this usually doesn't work very well with a mostly empty soft cup.

Edited at 2012-09-29 01:59 pm (UTC)
kodi.: snowwhiteiamenergy on September 28th, 2012 03:39 am (UTC)
To get mine out I grab a hold it with my thumb and index and/or middle finger on opposite sides of the cup, and then squish it together it so the seal breaks.
Bess7bess7 on September 28th, 2012 03:49 am (UTC)
Hi! Thanks for your comment! I have tried that and I can feel it folding but the seal doesn't break... I have explained in the reply above what exactly happened as I removed it.
wiesoauchimmer on September 28th, 2012 05:56 am (UTC)
i bet the seal will break sufficiently with that kind of movement when there is actually fluid in there to fill the cup - you'll see when you're on your period.
Bess7bess7 on September 29th, 2012 04:00 am (UTC)
Thanks! I will not try to use it again until I get my period, I'm sure it will be much easier as so many of you have agreed that is the case :)
Megan: GangstaCathdsqrl on September 28th, 2012 01:55 pm (UTC)
Regarding the messy factor - it's not anywhere near as gory as I imagined it might be. I empty mine while I'm on the loo, and it just dumps right down into the water, leaving my hands pretty clean, actually. If I'm in a bathroom in which I can reach the sink while still sitting, I'll give the cup a rinse and then reinsert. If not, I'll just reinsert, as the outside of the cup is usually still pretty clean as well. (Well, as clean as one can expect, anyway.)

::Editing to add - I haven't yet had to reinsert more than once without rinsing. Worst case, if I'm at work or other public restroomy-type place, I'll scoot quickly to the sink and rinse when no one else is at the sink, then return to the stall to reinsert. You'll figure out what works for you. :)

Edited at 2012-09-28 01:57 pm (UTC)
Bess7bess7 on September 29th, 2012 04:03 am (UTC)
It's nice to know it's not very messy, I guess it gets even easier and less messy as you start perfecting the technique.

Haha, I can see myself sneaking out when in a public toilet to rinse it at the sink... it's pretty funny :)

Thanks again for the help and advice! :)
lizsterineglizsterineg on September 29th, 2012 06:21 am (UTC)
I'm just remembering some of my first times where I'd squish an almost full cup and make it overflow all over my hand(s) then try to negotiate getting the loo paper without flinging red everywhere...LOL. Think awkward comedy movie style.

Depending on how heavy your flow is, you may have similar experiences but that's fine. I can now report that barely happens anymore....like once a year, and when it does, I always laugh at myself. ;)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on September 28th, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
The idea is to get air up into/above your cup. Try creating an air channel with your finger on the soft back side of your vag. Whether it seeps in slowly through the anti-suction holes or whooshes in over the rim doesn't matter. I don't know how big or small the holes of the Femmecup are. If they're small, some have had good luck enlarging them in other cups.
Bess7bess7 on September 29th, 2012 04:06 am (UTC)
Hi! Thanks for your advice, I'll give it a try next time I use the cup. I'm not sure if the holes on the Femmecup are big or small in relation to other cups... but they are slanted, like the holes are made diagonally through the silicone. Maybe that makes it harder for the air to get in? I'll see how it goes on my next try and if I'm still having trouble breaking the seal I will look into making the holes bigger. Thanks again :)
BlueWhitbluewhit on September 30th, 2012 12:44 am (UTC)
Good news from another 25 year old virgin. :P
Just wanted to comment, since it sounds as if you and I were in the same boat. I started using the cup 2 periods ago. My first time, I took it for a "dry run" like you. It was very painful going in, comparable to a pelvic exam, only not so long-lasting, but getting it out was crazy, esp. after I decided to trim the stem. Simply, I found this comm and left the post "I just spent 6 hours taking my cup out, and now I'm bleeding." So yes, I definitely broke my hymen, judging by the amount of blood (sucker was still there after those pap exams, apparently, jeez). The silver lining in this for me, is that using the cup really seems to have increased the pliability of my vagina. I'm telling you this because, honestly, while the suction never hurt me and I was quite comfy with my cup by my second period, it's impossible for me to break the suction without squatting and getting a finger from the second hand up there to press on the side. Same goes for taking it out comfortably (you have to fold it while it's in there). This is difficult for women who are not used to having much up there, as it can feel you're stretching yourself. But that sensation decreases quickly, in my experience, just from using the cup. You're going to be able to get at least 3 fingers up there after the cup in no time. :)