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Firstly, let it be known that my vagina and I no longer have any secrets, nor anything resembling a hymen. 

Okay, you have no idea how much I want to love my mooncup and recommend it to other people and never find out that I had two tampons in simultaneously again (yes, really).  But this is starting to seem like a sick joke.  I'm a first time cup user, and I just got it a couple days ago.  My period is due Wednesday, so I've been practicing.  I'd already inserted and removed it twice--always a little uncomfortable going in, always a little PAINFUL and difficult to get out.  The last time I decided to trim the stem to get rid of that "dry tampon" rubbing sensation.  So I did and popped 'er back in. 

COULD NOT GET THE BLASTED THING OUT.  Went to bed with it in last night after my fingers started to prune.  Seriously.  Got back up today, thought I'd have another go before driving to a state park as I'd intended.  Instead of the park, I spent my day off diving into my apparently labyrinthine vagina, alternatedly leaning over the sink, sitting on the toilet, or crawling around on the bathroom floor, sometimes breathless and sweating, sometimes laughing uncontrollably at the sheer ridiculousness of it.  Tried a toothbrush handle and tweezers at various points. My wrist feels almost sprained from craning it trying to reach the rim with the tip of my finger (never happened). 

My fingers were already bloody from pinching at the skin, grabbing and losing the stem, trying my damnedest to break the suction.  At one point I was l sitting against the wall with my legs apart, doing yoga breathing, one finger from each hand jammed up inside me, holding my vag open like a speculum.  This seemed to work better than anything, as the cup did finally come down enough where I could frantically grab at the stem AND press against the cup with one finger.  However, it would invariably shoot back up inside me before the suction was properly broken.  Apparently I need another hand to remove this thing, preferably attached to a monkey's tail growing out of my ass. 

FINALLY, FINALLY, THANK YOU GOD I managed to remove the thing.  It was a two-handed removal, with me waddling back to the toilet, holding on for dear life so the suction woudln't return and so I wouldn't spill whatever lady juices had collected in it (I jog and such, so I'm always discharging something lovely).  By this time, I was so sore and so one with my vagina that the idea of trying to shield my opening from being stretched apart was no longer on my mind, so I just pressed enough to get the rim into a sort of banana shape and ripped it out like a cork. 

Blood, in the toilet.  Wiped with paper.  Plenty more blood.  Finally put on a panty liner.  Checked vag with mirror, couldn't tell much.  I feel like it's a lot of blood for someone who's had two pelvic exams/pap smears, the first of which was quite excruciating.  I'm trying to convince myself it woudln't be so bad if I hadn't taken an aspirin after "bearing down" till I gave myself a semi-migraine. 

Anyway.  It's far too late to go to the park like I wanted, so I'm going to drive and get a .50 cent vanilla cone at Burger King and try not to shit myself in terror.  Any words of encouragement will be much appreciated. 

EDIT:  Well, it's the next day now.  Pretty sure my vag hurt in a dull, I-can-deal-with-this sort of way all night, and I noticed while showering that I'm still pretty sore.  Kind of terrified to try this thing again.  I know I CAN get it out, but I don't have 6 hours to GIVE BIRTH to my mooncup every time I need to change it.  Thanks again to everyone who responded; you guys are awesome. 
Current Mood: scaredscared
eollieeollie on August 20th, 2012 01:07 am (UTC)
Oh my!!!! HUGS to you. I am not an experienced cup user..i've only had my 2nd period with my Diva. I pinched the bottom part and twisted slightly and it broke the suction. I have never tried it without my period so i'm not sure about that.

I hope you had a really yummy ice cream cone and i'm happy to read that you were able to remove the cup. I hope someone on this forum can offer actual advice.
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 20th, 2012 01:44 am (UTC)
Thanks, eollie. After that, I need hugs. Lol. If nothing else, I have stopped bleeding. I don't think advice is really going to help me; I'm doing/trying everything I've seen recommended, and it's still VERY hard and VERY time-consuming to get it out. I may just be small or something--I mean, I don't see how y'all are even getting your fingers IN THERE to pinch the bottom part. There's just no room for two fingers in my canal (alongside the cup, I mean) and everytime I make it to the bottom part past the stem, I just wind up pushing it further in. One finger I can get in, though it's still a tight fit, but it's too short to reach the rim. Ugh. I was really excited about switching to the cup, but I'm very frustrated with it now.

Edited at 2012-08-20 01:45 am (UTC)
Chasechikchasingtides on August 20th, 2012 01:55 am (UTC)
If I rough myself up that much, I bleed, too. (Hell, I've bled at the OBGYN because my vagina is just that fucking awesome. )

I also had a hell of a time getting my Lunette out when I first started using it. So, things that helped me:

Bearing down means, for me, not focusing on my vaginal muscles, but the ones around them. Basically pushing hard like I'm constipated. It works like a charm at getting the cup near my entrance and doesn't make me feel like I'm blinding myself.

If I can't pull it out, leaving it alone. The tenser I get, the worse it is. I'll sit down and do something relaxing and then, if I still think it will be hard, I do a shoulder stand or plow (yoga position). For both of those, I've actually accidentally popped my cup out while exercising - but that means they're seriously awesome if it gets stuck.

Lube. Lube and more lube. I don't actually use it anymore, but lube was a lifesaver when I was first using my cup. And today, if it's being difficult, I just add some lubricant to the mix and it gets a whole lot easier (and should cut down on the bloodshed).

I don't dry run. My vagina is very different throughout my period and when I'm not menstruating. It's generally not worth dry running and my first period vs my first dry run were drastically different experiences.
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 20th, 2012 02:16 am (UTC)
Thanks for the advice. Bearing down didn't seem to help me a whole lot unless I already had hold of the cup, which was the hard part. I'll try the yoga moves next time for sure, and the first thing I did after finishing my ice cream was to pop into a store and buy some lubricant. I think you're right about the dry run. It just doesn't work for me; I'm too dry and get abraded and sore fast, even when I constantly wet my fingers. I was hoping to be kind of adjusted by the time I started my period, so there would be fewer accidents, but at least I'll be home next week during my period, so I won't have to worry about embarrassing myself at work or anything. Thanks again, especially about the yoga moves; those could be life savers. :)
(no subject) - m03m on August 20th, 2012 06:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
skysosskysos on August 20th, 2012 04:49 am (UTC)
Oh lord, that's pretty close to what my first removal was like! I also spent severeal hours (with some breaks to stop freaking out), and I did the two-handed waddle thing once I was getting close too, lol. So I *totally* get where you are coming from.

It DOES get better though. I waited till the next month, then tried again. That next removal was, as I recall, half an hour or so, which was certainly a vast improvement! And by the end of the next cycle after that, I had my method down to under a minute. That was more than two years ago and I've been happily using my cup ever since.

As far as advice...something that helps me was to bear down AND push out like you're pooping at the same time. When I do that, with my thumb and index finger already inserted, my cup comes right down, no problem, and my fingers are ready to grab the stem. Also, are you "holding your position" when you take a breath while bearing down? If not, your cup probably "yo-yos" back up when you breathe, and the bearing down really won't help.

I hope that helps; if I think of something else I'll let you know but I think those things were the keys to making it work for me.

Edited at 2012-08-20 04:50 am (UTC)
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 20th, 2012 06:53 am (UTC)
Thanks, chasingtides, Mo3M, and skysos. Everyone has been so helpful and encouraging.

I'm so glad to hear it gets better skysos, from someone who had a similar experience. Even half an hour would make me happy at this point. :D

One further question: I thought I had researched cups well before purchasing one, but I'm reading that they're supposed to sit lower than tampons. Is it possible that I'm just shoving it in too far, and that's why I can't get it out? I've been just jacking it right up there like I would with a non-applicator tampon. Granted, my longest finger is only 2.75 inches, but that's also why I'm having trouble getting the Mooncup back out. Exactly how low is this thing supposed to be in my vagina?
(no subject) - m03m on August 20th, 2012 08:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - skysos on August 20th, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bluewhit on August 20th, 2012 11:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - teacupcake89 on August 21st, 2012 06:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tauriskatauriska on August 20th, 2012 12:01 pm (UTC)
I'll try to describe what worked for me on dry runs, I have a small Lunette and never tried a Mooncup but maybe it helps :)
I squat next to a bathtub and lean on the edge of the bathtub with one hand (it is easier for me to relax my muscles when I don't have to hold balance) and try to relax really well. Then I put my index finger into the vaginal opening and push with my pelvic floor muscles against it so I can reach the bottom of the cup (I cut my stem off completely) and put my finger sidelong the cup (just a little, not like I wanted to reach the rim or so) and put my thumb on the opposite side so I can squeeze the bottom of the cup - and then I twist it a little, that mostly breaks the seal for me (again, I don't have the Mooncup but I read for some users Mooncup's seal breaks by just squeezing the bottom so maybe it would be fine). Then I put my middle finger next to my index finger on the cup (still holding the bottom squeezed) and kind of crawl one by one my fingers upwards (so that in every moment two of them can hold the cup squeezed) pulling the cup slowly downwards by that until I can fold the cup (like in the C fold) with the pressure of my thumb against the other two fingers, then it's narrow enough for me to pull also the rim out (if it's still painfull, I pull it out slowly pulling one side first, the the other a bit, and so on).
Hope my English is not too bad so you can understand this and it helps a little :) Good Luck in every way! :)
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 20th, 2012 01:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice, Tauriska (and I didn't notice anything bad about your English). I think the problem I'm really having here is that my vaginal canal is just too narrow for me to fit more than one finger alongside the cup at one time until it gets really, really low in it. I'm 25 and a virgin (if that matters; I know the vagina changes a bit during arousal/sex), and I've always had a bit of a burn even getting regular tampons in. My first pelvic exam, as I think I mentioned in my post, was just horribly painful. She used the smallest speculum they had, but it still felt like my entire vagina was being stretched to the breaking point the entire, long time (she couldn't find my cervix and kept TILTING the damn thing until I finally broke my vow of big-girl silence and had to say something). I'm not talking about my hymen, either. It was a big, burning pain all the way up inside me. If I could get two fingers up in there without pushing the cup out of the way I think I could get it out easy, but it's just not happening.
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 20th, 2012 01:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bluewhit on August 20th, 2012 11:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 20th, 2012 11:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bluewhit on August 20th, 2012 11:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Megan: DangCathdsqrl on August 20th, 2012 01:35 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to thank you for posting your saga...I'm awaiting the start of my period in the next week or two, and will have my first try with a cup (Diva, in my case.) Haven't had the nerve (or, well, TIME) yet to do a dry run, and am now wondering if I really ought to just wait and skip the dress rehearsal altogether. Knowing other people's horror stories gives me an idea of worst-case scenarios, and helps me to know that it's seldom easy for anyone the first few times. I'm sorry you went through this, but thanks for the post just the same. :)
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 20th, 2012 02:10 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I would just skip the dry run if I were you. I know I'm not doing another one. Pretty sure if the rest of me had been as slippery from menstruation as the stem end had been from me repeating shoving my fingers under the faucet, it would have come out easier. And you're welcome. :)
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 20th, 2012 02:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Lady Felis of Domestica: avatarfelisd on August 20th, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
Hugs, Bluewhit! I have a Divacup, and those are about as big as they get, and I remember the third time I tried to get it out (on my period no less), I had a similar experience to what you described above. I have a fairly short canal, but it's also pretty narrow, and I have short stubby fingers to boot, which makes reaching up and hooking a finger over the edge of the cup to release the seal isn't possible for me - heck, like you, I'm lucky to be able to get two fingers in to grasp the bottom of the stem!

But practice makes perfect. The first go-through with your period may not be smoothly, or even the second, but it will get better. For me, it wasn't until my fourth period I finally managed to get it down to a science. And it's pretty much as everyone else has suggested: bear down with your fingers in, if you can, don't bother reaching for the stem - try and grasp the bottom of the cup and squeeze it with both fingers, but most importantly reeeeeelllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxx... The more tense you are, the more your vag wants to hold on to the thing. If you find yourself stressing out, just slap a pad on to catch any leaking that will happen if your cup fills up, then try again later when you're more relaxed. (Though when you do, you may want to be in the tub - it'll be a bloodbath quite literally.) And find the humour in it all. I remember the first few times, I squatted to put it in, my vag actually literally spit blood out at the cup. It was all, "Aw hell no, lady! Screw that shit!" LOL!

Good luck!
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 20th, 2012 11:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, I was laughing my ass off, with tears in my eyes, when I wasn't deep breathing and shaking my head in wonder at the evasive power of the Mooncup. :D I felt like I was at WAR with my vagina, lol.

I've not given up on it; in fact, I'm pretty determined to use it. I don't know if I can get into the plow pose recommended above, but it occurred to me that tilting my pelvis down while doing a plank would probably smush the sucker down a lot further than just "bearing down." In fact, I only got it out yesterday after doing some stability ball crunches--which, TMI, I tried on sudden inspiration after remembering that it usually forces a bit of discharge out of me on heavy days.

But yeah, nothing relaxes the mood like a long bout of half-hysterical laughter. :)

Edited at 2012-08-20 11:17 pm (UTC)
dlyjrnl: beautydlyjrnl on August 21st, 2012 02:30 am (UTC)
FWIW, I did not bleed the first time I had sex, nor the second time. It was the third or fourth time I finally started bleeding - and dripped all over the floor and rugs after having bled all over the sheets. It's pretty thin skin dahn'ere. So that part sounds totally normal, even if you've had the speculum/manual exam before. Even vigorous sex doesn't always break the hymen the first time (if you have the type where there's something to actually break).

Regardless, that sounds like a miserable experience. The only two things I can think of are 1) make sure you bear down hard (like you're having a BM). 2) Mayhap need a longer cup, if it's up high enough that you have a hard time reaching/gripping it? I always pinch the top and pull down, which breaks the seal right off the bat, and mine is always circled around my cervix so I'm basically pinching my cervix at the start. That requires being able to reach the top, though, and it sounds like you had enough trouble getting a decent grip on the bottom.

Here's hoping it gets better for you, if you decide to keep trying. It can be a great experience - I can go anywhere commando now, no worries, any time during my cycle. (It's gonna be great on vacation next month!) Sleep without having to wear my diaper-pads... very nice. But it has to be a good experience for YOU and YOUR body. It's good that you and your vagina are on the same page now ;-) whether or not you keep cupping. Hopefully it works out for you, but it's not a big failure if not - it's just a matter of your particular needs.
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 21st, 2012 03:28 am (UTC)
Hey, dlyjrnl, thanks for sharing your own experience. I think you're right and my hymen just hadn't torn yet. I bled a little during that first exam, but just enough for the nurse to dab away with a Kleenex. Mostly stretching, I think, since it always stung when inserting things--I used to joke that I regenerate like Wolverine. I think I just SHREDDED it this time, tbh. Which, you know, good riddance. :D

It wasn't even miserable so much as frustrating and defeating. I am still hoping that with practice, I'll discover what works best for me to bring it right down and remove it. I am definitely going to keep trying. I know it CAN work, I just have to figure out how it works with my body. Thanks. :)
angelsweep on August 27th, 2012 11:30 am (UTC)
Holy heck! I've been using a cup for a few years now, but still have trouble with it at times, removal is often tricky for me, sometimes very much so. My cup can ride up into oblivion, it's large with a long stem, but even with my longest fingers rammed up there I can only just touch the tip with a finger nail, bearing down, I might get a fingernail to hook the stem but I often painfully pinch my vaginal walls too, blood spilling everywhere, it's like a bad horror-thriller movie. My last period was the worst, my cup had moved right back, and I was quite dry in there, so it took me a while to get it out because I broke the stem off with my finger nail when trying to grab it, and this made it extremely difficult to reach, I practically had to shove my whole hand in there, painful. I must have torn my vagina, because straight after I bled out even though my period had stopped, so I put it back in, later I was certain my period was over, I removed my cup again, which was tricky without stem, but at least it hadn't gone to the moon this time, but then I bled again, and had a painful stinging inside my vag. Now I really need a new cup, but I am at a complete loss to what I should buy, and I wish I had a vagina fairy who could help me figure out what cup is right for me!
BlueWhitbluewhit on August 28th, 2012 12:59 am (UTC)
Wouldn't it be nice if there WERE a Vagina Fairy? Perhaps if we all believe in her . . . I've actually had a much easier time of it removing the cup during my period. It can still take anywhere from 5-30 minutes, but that's a big improvement on 6 hours. Still usually a bloodbath, though, and I can really only get hold of the cup by squatting, so I've no idea how I'd fare in a public restroom. I really think the major problem before was that I HAD shoved it up too high. I know the cup may ride up on its own, but there's no reason to help it. Sounds like you did tear your vagina, ouch! I'm starting to think I didn't tear anything at all but instead pulled out some menstrual blood early, if that's even possible, since my usually rock solid period began a day earlier than I expected it, after some never-before-seen spotting. I hope you figure out what cup to get! I might try a longer one, if I buy another in the future.
(no subject) - angelsweep on August 28th, 2012 01:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 29th, 2012 01:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - angelsweep on August 29th, 2012 02:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 29th, 2012 04:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - angelsweep on August 30th, 2012 03:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 30th, 2012 12:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - angelsweep on September 3rd, 2012 09:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliiie87 on September 3rd, 2012 10:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
annu86 on August 28th, 2012 06:29 pm (UTC)
Wow, this sounds pretty much like my experiences last week.

I just bought the divacup and didn't train first, just went for it. And I could like you not get it out at all. It seemed like no matter what I did it just couldn't get a hold on the cup. But after some hours I found a blog from in here with a girl explaining that you had to press like during bowel movement to push it down - an of course 30 sec later, I had it out...
But after successfully getting it out for one day, the next day my wrists were to sore and my fingers were busted, so then all the sudden I could not get a good grip even tough I did my best to push down.

So after some failed attempt, I got my boyfriends to help... he was a bit freaked out as well... and managed to remove it (and then I backed it away for now.)

I will definitely be trying it out again, and hopefully not strain my wrists to much next time.

A comment is also that after my experience and reading a bit in here, the whole idea that the cup will sit lower than a tampon (only 1 cm up) is bull shit in my opinion. The instructions for my cup did say not to worry if you cannot get it out, since gravity as the cup fills up will push it down... But in my opinion the cup will never sit so low on me and the pushing technique is absolutely needed to get it out (which they didn't write anything about in the quite long manual...)

I hope that we both have better luck next time :)

BlueWhitbluewhit on August 29th, 2012 02:19 am (UTC)
Amen. I have to say that I managed to use it successfully during my period, though I NEVER managed to get it out in 30 seconds. I CERTAINLY know what you mean about straining your wrist and fingers. It was very painful after a while. Bearing down does a little to help me, but I find squatting at the same time absolutely crucial. Hopefully I will never have to figure out how to work that in public restrooms, since my periods are light enough to wait till my off time to change. But I am pretty confident about using it now, so I hope your next experience is much better. I don't know if you tried squatting AND pushing, but definitely give it a go if you didn't. Best wishes!
(no subject) - juliiie87 on August 29th, 2012 01:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)