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arcticfox97

Hi there! I'm back again this month with more struggles (haha...) so I'd appreciate some help once more! 

I use a Lunette Selene size 1 (small). I'm a virgin (of course) since I'm fifteen and this is my second cup as my previous DivaCup hadn't worked for me. 
Today I got my period again so I tried to finally do it this time. It's been a few months since I got it (I think) but alas, I've had no success so far. 
Well, I knew I could get two fingers in after a very long time of persistent "stretching" as before it was very hard to even get a finger in, but today I actually tried 3 and -- to my surprise -- it miraculously fit! And it wasn't that difficult, either! Since I know my cup is just slightly wider than three of my fingers in length, I figured it would go in easy like my fingers had, especially since it was FOLDED (used a labia fold this time since it seems to work best) but it didn't! 

I tried to do it the same direction as I do with my fingers but it for some reason hurt. I went a bit further, and I only went about half-way of the cup in. I tried to insert and push it in AT LEAST to the base, but it was just too painful! I couldn't do it! 
Why does this keep happening?! I can put in my fingers just fine, but when I try to put in the cup the exact same way, position, etc., I can barely even get half of the cup in. I don't think I've ever even inserted it past two or three-quarters of the cup. 
I'm pretty sure I'm totally relaxed. Also, the cup is completely covered in water when I insert it each time, so it's not as if it's dry (don't want to buy lubrication -- just don't -- but I use water and it's good for me), so why can't I insert it? Please help! I already read the Virgin's Guide to Cups and all, but this problem is something that I can't seem to find a solution to... 

 
 
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
 
Ashatenlegspider on July 15th, 2012 10:06 am (UTC)
Putting your fingers in is a bit more straightforward; you're not trying to keep hold of anything, so it could be that you're more relaxed.

Lube would probably help, and if you can't stand buying some you could use vegetable oil. Either massage or cooking oil, as long as it's plain oil without any scents or flavours added. If you're doing a dry run or not bleeding heavily, use your fingers to put it inside you, otherwise just apply around the entrance of your vagina. I find using it this way easier than putting it on my cup, which makes it harder to hold on to.
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 12:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I didn't know the thing about vegetable oil, and I'm almost completely positive there's some around the house somewhere, so I'll check for that.
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 15th, 2012 12:38 pm (UTC)
Make sure tu pull away any flaps of skin that may get caught by the cup. As for being relaxed : try actively bearing down as you're pushing it in, this should keep the way open. Are you aiming back to your bottom or up ? this could why it won't go in.
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 12:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
As for aiming, I usually try to go more upwards -- closer to my stomach than my back, if you want to put it that way (just back and upward, I suppose). Do you think aiming back to my bottom would be better? I'm a little wary of trying that, because it sounds like it's an odd direction to go in rather than the regular "vaginal" way, so I'm afraid that might hurt...
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 15th, 2012 01:09 pm (UTC)
It won't hurt just trying. The vagina isn't going upwards very much actually. Kuradi8 used to say, "aim for your ***hole ! And I find it's pretty safe to do so, because the wall closest to the floor is the strechiest and numbest anyway.
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 01:28 pm (UTC)
Ah, okay, thanks a ton! I'll try that today, I suppose, when I have my energy back to try inserting it again (haha). I'll be sure to see how it goes!
Seery: bamboosirigorn on July 15th, 2012 02:18 pm (UTC)
The first thing I thought of was what juliiie87 said. I never used tampons before switching to cups, because it always hurt. Now, I think it's because I believed what you did, that the vagina goes up, when it really mostly goes back. Don't try to push it straight up - it won't work, and it'll hurt a lot. Try aiming towards the back. It is counter-intuitive, but it's really much easier. If you're doing the labia fold, it should be more than small enough to slide in that way.

Good luck!
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 04:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I sure hope that's the problem and not something else. That'll be a lot of weight off my shoulders if it works out, then, haha!
By aiming towards the back, though, I first have to aim it upward right when it's entering my vagina, right? (Assuming I'm standing up for insertion.) Because I can't imagine inserting it straight back, unless that's how to do it!

Thanks for the luck!
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 15th, 2012 04:55 pm (UTC)
If you havent already, try inserting lying on your back (in the privacy of your bedroom) or at least sitting on the toilet. These are the positions with the most odds of success for me, and for most people as far as I've heard. By aiming up you're risking to bump into your urethra, pubic bone and g-spot (urethral sponge). Not that it's terribly painful (the urethra might be), but it won't go in.

EDIT : These positions also happen to make popping open easier, because they help with keeping relaxed, and this is the next step ! I'm sure you're very close to success now that you have all cards in hand ! ;)

Edited at 2012-07-15 05:01 pm (UTC)
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 06:47 pm (UTC)
Ah, that might make sense with bumping into one of those areas... sometimes the pain kind of felt like a "pang" of hitting some sort of strange nerve, so that's probably the reason for that!
I'll try doing it while sitting on the toilet, then -- haven't tried that position much, so I'll see how that works out as well.
Thanks a ton for all your help! : )
Ashatenlegspider on July 15th, 2012 07:04 pm (UTC)
I was always told to aim for the lower back, which gives you the general angle. You should never be pointing it at your head.

Have you seen any cross section diagrams (like this)? They give you an idea of what's going on.
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 07:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'll keep that diagram in mind -- seems like a picture of what to do gives me a better sense. When I get the chance to try inserting the cup again I'll make sure to spend more time on my angle... I seem to have a ton of trouble with that!
Seerysirigorn on July 15th, 2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
Yeah, aim up, and then back at an angle. You do have to aim up long enough to clear the pelvic bone, but that's not very far in. In general your lower back is the aim.

And I second to try it sitting down. I find that it's much more difficult to insert or remove my cup if I'm standing, just because there's less room. I have to sit down, and spread my legs out. I haven't tried it lying down, but I know it works for some people.
arcticfox97arcticfox97 on July 15th, 2012 08:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yeah, I think I've tried doing it while laying down as well -- wasn't really comfortable. I had a really hard time trying to reach over while holding the fold AND insert it at the same time, haha.
I appreciate the information on which angle to insert it a lot. That seems to be my main problem, I think, so I'll see how the next time goes when I try these tips out. I notice myself going way angled too upward or too downward so I can never really get a good sense of where to insert it.
tryingljtempwaterlily on July 21st, 2012 01:40 am (UTC)
warm/hot water, too?
Thanks for posting, you have more guts than I do on this front, and I'm the reverse of your age! Since I've still not succeeded to insert my new (1st) cup yet, who knows, but rinsing it in hot water first to warm it up seemed to help. I probably need to push more to the back as well. But I have yet to get the thing past my pubic bone, SIGH. (and my hymen is long gone, but I do remember having trouble with diaphragms... but at least those go in w/o you needing to grip the item with your thumb where it's being inserted.) Maybe next cycle I will try again. I really want to be able to do lying-down postures in yoga even w/my period.
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 23rd, 2012 06:01 pm (UTC)
Re: warm/hot water, too?
Well, warm water would make the cup easier to fold and hold folded, while cold water would make it more springy so it pops right open as soon as you let go... so it's up to you really... I strongly recommend getting the cup wet anyway, and lying on your back, resting on one elbow, in a "brithing position", sort of. Or sitting on the toilet. Aim lower, there's no risk there ! And good luck !
tryingljtempwaterlily on July 24th, 2012 12:16 am (UTC)
Re: warm/hot water, too?
Thanks so much! For the good luck wishes, too! And I'm laughing bc I don't think I need to worry about anything not popping open yet, given how my cup (a Lunette small) has popped open twice popping right out of me, argh!

Maybe someday they'll invent a menstrual cup with a more-rigid rim and a less-rigid cup part; that's the only kind of diaphragm that ever worked for me.

I will try lying down, next cycle.
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 24th, 2012 09:37 am (UTC)
Re: warm/hot water, too?
It's been done, and I've felt it : it's Naturcup ! (and Ladycup too afiu).