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jordan
10 July 2012 @ 11:13 pm
Hi there. I've only posted here once before (http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2705326.html) and figured I'd post again. I'm a 26-year-old genderqueer transguy (FTM), and I've had vaginal sex before (rarely), but have never given birth. I don't use tampons, just cloth pads (but I'm getting kinda tired of them). I was on testosterone for a little over 7 years & 4 months and had completely stopped menstruating for almost that whole time. I stopped taking testosterone in early February of this year, and started having periods again by mid-late April. They're irregular so far, but the flow is increasing, and so far it's a medium flow - but I had pretty heavy periods prior to taking testosterone, so I'm expecting it to get heavier.

Anyway, I've looked through the size charts and things, but I couldn't find out what position to be in while measuring. I've measured for length by inserting a middle finger: first, while lying on my back, then a second time, while sitting up. Lying on my back, it measured around 3 inches (I didn't have a ruler) by the time I could touch my cervix. Sitting up, it only measured about 1.75" before I could touch my cervix. Which measurement should I use? I've never tried a menstrual cup before, so I don't know if there's a specific position to be in or not while getting measurements. I measured for width and only was able to get 2 fingers in all the way side by side.

Also, the last time I posted in here, people recommended I get either a small Meluna (if I have a light or medium flow, it seems like), or a small Ladycup or small Lunette. The small Meluna doesn't have much capacity from what I've heard, so I might try a different cup. Any other suggestions besides those aforementioned ones?

Thanks a bunch :) I'm glad this community exists!
 
alpacalypse21 on July 11th, 2012 04:10 am (UTC)
I think that, for the sake of comfort, you would be better off using the measurement from when you're sitting down. After all, I suspect that you're going to be sitting down more than lying down anyways. Going with the shorter measurement will help ensure that nothing is "poking out." The only time that I experience discomfort with my cup is when I'm sitting down and what remains of my stem is sticking out a bit and causing some irritation. I feel like there's a downward shift when I sit down and the slight increase in pressure against the entrance, where the stem has moved, can make it quite uncomfortable at times.

And I'm sorry but I can't offer much advice when it comes to brands. :(

Good luck! :D
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the suggestion. Also, your username is hilarious :D
alpacalypse21 on July 12th, 2012 12:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D
foggyimagefoggyimage on July 11th, 2012 04:15 am (UTC)
Personally, I always measure sitting up because that's the position I remove from. So if I am short when I am sitting up, the cup will be easy to grab and thus I only have short cups. Coincidentally, I just made a huge post about what cup may be best for people. Here is the link! http://foggyimage.livejournal.com/550.html . It is also the post right above yours. Since you said your cervix was only 1.75 when sitting, I personally would consider that short. I have a Small Ladycup and my cervix ends up sitting inside it because my vagina is so short. That being said,there is not much capacity in the Small Lady cup. Even though I love it, I have a light flow and it almost doesn't work for that. So for you I wouldn't recommend it! Good luck and try my post. It might help you!
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 04:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the link and the advice. That menstrual cup quiz you made is super helpful :)
foggyimagefoggyimage on July 11th, 2012 05:27 pm (UTC)
No problem :)
melissa569melissa569 on July 11th, 2012 04:55 am (UTC)
Hmmm... I agree with everyone else, most of the time we are usually in an upright position (unless we are asleep). So I would go with the upright measurement.

The Melunas are good for capacity in that they don't focus as much on width with the bigger sizes, its more body shape and length. Although I think you're right, the small might not have enough capacity. Maybe try medium?

A lot of other brands, it can be a tough call when you mix a heavy period with "not much space up there". Its almost like you have to choose between capacity and a good fit, lol. But if you have a heavier flow, Meluna is in a pretty good middle ground.

If you wanna see how all the brands compare with Meluna, you can look through my comparison photos:

http://menstrualcups.friendhood.net/f52-moderator-s-photo-library
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 05:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the tips and the link. In the Meluna comparison pictures at the link though (this page specifically http://menstrualcups.friendhood.net/t224-meluna-comparison-photos), it looks like the small and the medium are almost the same size. Are they really, or no?
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 05:07 pm (UTC)
er, nevermind about the small & medium Meluna being the same size, I see on other pages in that photo library that the new ones are different sizes.
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 11th, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
Not so much that they changed the sizes (those from the meluna album are the newer ones), but that they do look very similar here. However, they aren't. The sizecharts holds all the answers : http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ ;)
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 06:20 pm (UTC)
Oh okay, good to know! Thanks again :) I am SO glad this community exists! I feel a good bit less confused now.
clover_elf_kinclover_elf_kin on July 11th, 2012 07:34 am (UTC)
For the record, I have a somewhat low cervix and overall small vaginal canal (because I am very small in general!) and I started out on the freaking size 1 Diva, which is one of the largest cups on the market. (Bought it at a store, with no idea smaller ones existed...) I have some leakage issues for reasons I've never figured out, but only for the first few days of my period, and after that I can almost forget I'm even bleeding.

Unless your cervix is extremely low, like on the verge of prolapse low, I get the impression that really, your biggest worry should be if you can stretch your opening enough to get the cup in to begin with. I'm a virgin and eventually I managed, but then again, I have no idea what T does to female parts.

Best of luck! Most of all, I hope you can get back on T and stop worrying about all this girly stuff. ;-)
m03m on July 11th, 2012 07:51 am (UTC)
Sorry, I have to disagree. For most of us, length is the important measurement, not width.
My cervix is on the lower side, although not extremely low, and I cannot wear a cup that's longer or has a pointy shape (let's not even talk about stems) because it would chafe. So length is very important to me.
Width matters way less to most users. Especially users who have had penetrative sex.
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 06:26 pm (UTC)
Ah okay, thanks for mentioning that! I think I will probably be able to deal with the width, mostly I just get nervous because menstrual cups tend to look huge to me in pictures.
m03m on July 11th, 2012 07:54 pm (UTC)
Trust me, it's not just you who feels that way! Many people say that cups look big to them in pictures. Up close and personal, things tend to be less scary, if only because they're so soft and pliable.

Here's wishing you good luck and happy cupping.
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 12th, 2012 05:13 pm (UTC)
Ditto, I thought they looked big in the pics and videos, then when mine came in the mail, and when I first saw by best friend's cup, my reaction was "ooooh how absolutely tiny and cute and perfect this is!!". Truth is, ALL cups are actually smaller or similar to a penis (when unfolded, which is not how you're supposed to insert them). This came to my mind recently when I read that the average male condom comes in 52 or 54 mm girth... The largest cup is 47 mm width. So... not so big actually. And very different from tampons, because they are sooo smooth and flexible, you don't feel them going in and out the way you feel tampons.

Edited at 2012-07-12 05:16 pm (UTC)
jordanpansycore on July 13th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
hmm, good to know! thanks for that info, that makes me feel a lot better :)
clover_elf_kinclover_elf_kin on July 12th, 2012 02:09 am (UTC)
Whoops. I still think my cervix is on the low side, but maybe it's long enough so the cup can go up around it a ways?
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 06:13 pm (UTC)
Wow, that is interesting about the Diva size 1! That's cool you were able to get it to work okay for you. To be honest, just looking at pictures of menstrual cups makes me nervous because they all look gigantic!

Since you mentioned "female parts", I want to point out that I don't actually consider any part of my body to be female; I'm a non-binary trans guy and I consider my body to be non-binary & male, like my gender. ( This is a pretty good page with info about non-binary genders, if you or anyone else is interested: http://www.nonbinary.org/wiki/Nonbinary_gender )
(I also don't consider menstruation to be "girly" since simply being able to menstruate does not make someone a girl/woman/female any more than not being able to menstruate makes someone a boy/man/male - though it seems like you might have been joking about that, I wanted to mention this just in case.)


I think how testosterone effects vaginas probably differs a good bit depending upon the individual and what dose they're on, how long they've been on testosterone, their medical history, how their body's responding to T, etc. For me, over time, after I stopped menstruating (after a month on testosterone), my vagina sort of "closed up shop", haha... it tightened, and became overly sensitive to the point of discomfort and pain even just with outer contact but especially with penetration. Now that I'm off of T, it seems to be returning to how it was pre-testosterone, at least in terms of the sensitivity level, not being as tight, and obviously menstruating.

Oh, and I'm off of testosterone by choice, and as of right now I have no plan to start taking it again any time soon since I like being off of it - but I have some left so I can restart it whenever I want :)
clover_elf_kinclover_elf_kin on July 12th, 2012 02:04 am (UTC)
Aah, I'm sorry if I came across as ignorant/transphobic! I'm a lesbian with slightly genderqueer tendencies myself; I just didn't think that you might have WANTED to go off testosterone. Which is stupid of me, because you're not the first person I've ever heard of who decided to keep their body as is.

Geez, I grumble about heterocentrism, and there I go being... uh... binary-gender-centric? ;-) I blame my being a writer for the "female parts" line; I used that phrasing because otherwise I'd have said "vagina" just too many times. Because people besides me are totally counting. ^^

Best of luck with the cup situation; if you're used to tampons especially, I can imagine the size of even the smallest cup might make your insides clamp shut in fear. XD I like my big cup for not needing to empty it as much as some others would require, but starting small might be a better idea. Like, if I had, I might not have spent that first cycle with it being very able to feel it in me just like you're not supposed to be able to...
jordanpansycore on July 12th, 2012 03:51 am (UTC)
No worries! Thanks for apologizing. Yeah, I was on T for long enough that it was just for maintenance after a while, and eventually I got tired of it, so I decided to stop. I'm still transitioning though.

I know what you mean about saying "vagina" so much; I think today and yesterday, I've written "vagina" more times than I probably have ever said it. Normally, I just call mine a cunt, but a lot of people don't like that word and I didn't want people to get distracted by that and not want to comment. Oh, and instead of gendering body parts, I tend to either use different commonly neutral terms like bits, genitals/genitalia, crotch, nether regions, "down there", or I ask what someone's preferences are :)

Yeah, I'm worried about the sizes of cups because I never even liked tampons. But hopefully I'll find one that's a good fit. I think the most difficult thing I have to deal with is the emotional stuff of inserting something in my cunt :\
juliiie87juliiie87 on July 11th, 2012 11:39 am (UTC)
Definitely pick the shortest measurement. I usually look for my cervix while squatting which is what brings it closer. So, any cup in the 40-50 mm should be fine.

You said testosterone made you tight, but is it still so when you are off it and menstruating ? I wouldn't worry about it too much, because cup users usually say it's much easier to insert a cup whilst on your period, but I have no expertise in hormone treatment. If you think your vagina is rather tight anyway, I would opt for a slightly firmer cup, to make sure it has the strength to unfold successfully in a *tight* environnment. Although keep in mind that not having had a lot of penetrative sex doesn't mean you should be very tight, since it's more a factor of how strong your pelvic muscles are, like if you work out a lot, and how much you relax them for insertion (which is something anyone can learn to do, especially if they're not PIV virgins).

That being said... I'd advise a medium classic Meluna stemless or ball stem. Or a small Fleurcup, which is softer. Or even better, a small + large Fleurcup bundle, so you can try out the large if/when your flow gets heavy. It is fairly large, but you'll be grateful for the extra-capacity ! Length shouldn't be a problem, as this cup seems to fit lower cervices very well. Or small Yuuki, it has a good capacity for its size, but it's a very firm cup.
jordanpansycore on July 11th, 2012 07:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for all the advice and different brand suggestions! That is going to come in super handy, since I'm overwhelmed by all the different brands and size comparisons.

I have only really checked a few times since I stopped testosterone 5 months ago, but my vagina doesn't seem quite as tight as it was, especially when I'm on my period. It's still pretty small, though that could very well be me not relaxing enough.
m03m on July 12th, 2012 07:54 pm (UTC)
Keep in mind that most cups will probably work for most users. So yes, it's smart to make an informed choice and it will improve your chances of getting a cup that works for you, but on the other hand there is probably a whole range of cups out there that you could use.
You have lots of chances of getting it right! Don't fret too much.