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Lynx Logan
15 June 2012 @ 10:28 pm

I've been lurking around here for about a month and a half, read everything (I think) I could find remotely related to my issues, and have finally decided to try posting.  I apologize in advance if this gets long or TMI - I've been trying to compose it in my head for awhile and am now typing when I should be sleeping.

I'm almost 32 and have had 3 children vaginally (9lb2oz, 9lb1oz, 10lb9oz).  I've always been a pad user, never got the hang of tampons, but recently my friend waxed so enthusiastic about her DivaCup that in a fit of frustration with my pads I went and bought one.  I'm on my 3rd day of my second full cycle with the DivaCup and keep having trouble with it riding super low.  My last cycle I had so much trouble getting it to stay in at all comfortably that I kept taking it out and never tried it overnight.  This time I've turned it inside out (as per advice read here) and finally tried it overnight the first night of this period - which actually turned out to be the most comfortable wearing and I had no leaks!

However.  Even with the stem trimmed way off, if I wear it right side out it pokes me.  When it's inside out I feel like I get it up where I think it should be, but it quickly migrates back down (not up, which is the issue I was prepared for).  It also seemed to make me feel more like I had to pee, though I haven't noticed that so much today, so maybe I'm adapting.  However, when I actually sit down to pee, I feel I have to first reposition the cup or remove it, because it's often so low that I can touch it without even putting my finger inside of myself and I'm afraid I'll pee on it and contaminate my vagina (is that actually possible?) or accidentally push it the rest of the way out.  Ditto times two for going number two (well, not the contamination, but the accidental removal).  I can tell it sometimes creeps down while I'm walking around too because it starts to feel like it's pushing the opening wider (as in sitting in the opening instead of up high).  I also don't love wearing it inside out because the middle tends to kind of squish in when I'm trying to push it up, which can be awkward.  I've tried finding my cervix and while I'm not entirely certain I'm feeling the right thing, no matter which way I go I hit a dead end with just the length of my forefinger.

I'm wondering if part of the problem is that my vaginal muscles are too loose?  I tried doing some Kegels this month, but admit I wasn't very consistent or regimented about it.  I'm also thinking I might be happier with a shorter cup - probably something in the medium range on the chart.  Any recommendations as to which one might be good?  I'm not too worried about width at insertion - I've been doing a rough c-fold with the Diva with no trouble and it opens pretty quickly after entry.  I don't think I've gotten it much more than half full and my periods aren't usually super heavy - but with three kids (ages almost 2, 4, and 7) I'd love to have something I could change in the morning before they get up and then not have to worry about again until they're in bed - or at least until naptime :P.

Thanks in advance for any advice, suggestions, etc.

P.S. Advice on how to make my Diva experience more comfortable would also be highly appreciated, as I may not be able to afford a different cup right away.
Current Mood: tiredtired
susannahfragilemacabre on June 16th, 2012 06:05 am (UTC)
I have a small LadyCup, which is one of the smallest and softest out there, and even it gave me some trouble peeing at first. After a few cycles I just figured out how far to put it in and I acclimated to it, and it isn't nearly as noticeable. Until you can get a cup that is better suited (I don't have any input there as we are very different cup users!), at least that might help you.
juliiie87juliiie87 on June 16th, 2012 10:55 am (UTC)
Flipping the cup inside out is probably the best piece of avice right now, while you're trying to make this cup work, because it'll make it shorter. If you do want to get another cup, use the approximate figure you believe your vagina length to be while on your period (this may be important, because it may change over your cycle) to pick a size range. The Diva is the longest cup, so pretty much any cup will be shorter. I believe you need to look for a short-ish, wide cup. Possibly not to firm if the pressure on your bladder persists. Large Fleurcup is a favourite of many in this size range, large Si-Bell is similar but even softer, and large Lunette, on the contrary, is firmer than your Diva. Large Ladycup would be an option, but honestly I can't see why to choose this one : from what I heard the rim is quite firm, it's slippery, the slanted holes are annoying, and the capacity is pretty low for its dimensions. Just my 2 cents.
Lynx Loganlynxt on June 16th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the suggestions - I appreciate a starting point cause I tend to get so overwhelmed by all the options available that I feel I can never make a decision!
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on June 16th, 2012 12:38 pm (UTC)
It sounds to me like yes, your muscles are out of shape.

There are many different Kegel tools. Some are hands-on and require interaction -- such as wands or tethered "orgasm balls" or gizmos that look kinda like speculums. My favorite tool is just plain Ben Wa Balls. Start with ones that are about 1" and 3/4oz apiece and then graduate to those that are appx 3/4" and 1oz apiece. The idea is to insert them and keep them in while you walk around, do the dishes, etc. Start with 20 minutes a day and build from there. The longer you keep them in, they harder they'll be to keep them inside. That's what's working your PCs -- hands free, no interaction required. Do this at home. Be sure to remember to remove them (relax, cough and catch) before going out or using the toilet.

But it has recently come to light that Kegel exercises are not enough. You will need to add lower abdominal crunches and squats (for the butt muscles) to your exercise routine. They all work together.

In the mean time, continue to use the Diva inside out. Until you strengthen those muscles, ANY cup will probably feel like it's trying to escape.
Lynx Loganlynxt on June 16th, 2012 02:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks - guess maybe this'll be motivation to finally start an exercise routine :P. Where does one acquire Ben Wa balls and how expensive are they?
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on June 16th, 2012 02:53 pm (UTC)
I did an online search for BEN WA BALLS and these jumped out at me:
Stainless steel and appropriately sized/weighted.

Use your favorite search engine to see if you find others you like better.