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I have a tough time nailing down a purchasing decisions without doing a bunch of research but my research into cups has landed me in LALAnoncommittalLand. I am so confused at this point with all the numbers and lengths and softness and flow charts. So I just need some noodling this out help. I know there's a zillion posts like this and I am just hopeful you won't mind another one.

So! Let's get down to it.

I'm 32, no kids and have a flow like a wounded animal running for it's life. I have no idea why, but it torments me. First day, eh, it's okay...second and third day I might as well plop my booty on the toilet and wait it out. Then for the last 3-4 days it kinda comes and goes. My cervix is about 3 inches up when I'm not bleeding to death but when I went feeling around for it during my Tidal Wave I couldn't find that little nub, just angry squish. So I really have no idea where it goes when Aunt Flow is visiting. The heavy days can lead me through 3-5 super tampons and it's a plain ol' mess. I just can't deal with tampons anymore..they are starting to hurt and I'm just over it. 

I'm not too wussy when it comes to pain but I haven't been enthused about the complaints the harder cups have, but the softer cups don't seem to seal according to others. I just don't want to pick one that's too soft and find myself pouring red wine all over my pants to try and hide the fact that I flowed over nor do I want to walk like I was just riding a horse for 12 hours straight and crying. 

For a while I was pondering the Large Diva but I think I just need someone to go "You know! That sounds like a fine decision." Any nudging would be greatly appreciated so I can finally make up my mind!

Thank you!
Current Mood: confusedconfused
juliiie87juliiie87 on May 9th, 2012 12:06 am (UTC)
First off, it's really late here so you'll have to forgive me for giggling at your misfortune (and I mean rather at your great funny writing skills). I think you got your research right, you need a long, high capacity cup. A Diva would probably fit you, now I wouldn't personally recommend it, just because I don't like this brand for some reason, just to name one its tiny nub of a stem which I've read too many people complaining about (and probably just as many be perfectly happy with).

Other high capacity choices that come to my mind are XL Meluna and large Yuuki. The first comes in soft and medium-firm, the second is just very firm so I wouldn't recommend it for fear of being uncomfortable. My heart goes out to Meluna mostly because they're cheap and they give free samples, but also because of their vast range of options.

Ultimately, soft of firm, it all comes down to personnal preference. Like if you know you're sensitive down there or you have strong muscle tone, which requires a firm cup to stand against them. I have a large Cuplee and I can assure you it's never lost its seal. I've also never managed to fill it over the first half, but I do have a light flow. Use the comparison pictures and your gut feeling to determine which one of the high capacity long cups you'll most fondly wear. Here you can see the large Diva and other large sizes next to the XL Meluna : http://menstrualcups.friendhood.net/t224-meluna-comparison-photos
danger_kittykat on May 9th, 2012 12:18 am (UTC)
Happy to bring a smile! :D

I have no idea if my vagina has a kung fu grip or not..if someone has a way to figure this out please let me know. I don't think I've read anything along the lines of 'My vagina can bench press 20 lbs' so I really have no idea..! I don't think I'm overly sensitive..even uncomfortable tampons don't send me screaming for the restroom, just a general 'this sucks' pinching. I can take pap smears like a pro too if that counts for anything?

Looking at those size comparisons again I have a concern about the leaking due to the holes. I'm pretty sure I've read about that being an issue. I really don't want my cup to runeth over and me having to run home to change.

So your vote is for XL Meluna, yah?

juliiie87juliiie87 on May 9th, 2012 12:39 am (UTC)
Yeah, that would be my choice for you, but looking at the pictures, the large Fleurcup looks great too, and I've heard nothing but good things about it. Sorry If I'm not much help here. I don't want you to ressent your choice later because you had a crush on the Diva and you're convinced it would be better.

The holes are not a problem in my opinion. In fact, I believe tiny holes are just a pain in the ass because they make it more difficult to break the suction - oh another reason why I hate the Diva. You do want to look for a cup that has its holes placed near the rim, but that's most of them but the Ladycup I think. It's pretty much the feature that defines a high capacity cup, regardless of its size. Your cup shouldn't leak until it overflows, because there are flesh walls all around it forming a seal. And you'll be thrilled to realise cups can hold nearly 3 times what tampons can. Yay!

People with super strong muscle tone are usually the ones who use these muscles a lot, either just by working out intensly, or more specifically doing an awful lot of yoga, pilates (I swear, I went to a pilates class once because I wanted to sweat my ass off, and it was all about holding our pelvic muscles... :/), or even do regular kegels exercise. Or possibly, people with some form of vaginismus who tend to hold their muscles tightly more often than not. You'd probably know somehow if you fall into that category.

danger_kittykat on May 9th, 2012 12:43 am (UTC)
Yeah, no kung fu happening there for sure! And I don't have my heart set on anything, so no worries! It was more a shot in the dark and the ease of ordering through Amazon. I want to try my best the first time around instead of settling!
Tessgryphonwing on May 9th, 2012 12:48 am (UTC)
You can find out how strong your muscles are by squeezing them around stuff, if you're really curious. I have an insertion toy with a variable diameter. Sometimes I try to hold it in using internal muscles while I try to pull it out with my hand. It's glass so my vagina loses (no friction) but sometimes effort is required.

Or just see how hard you can squeeze your finger. Or two fingers, or however many you need to use to have something with enough diameter to squeeze. If you can clamp down on one finger pretty hard, the muscles are pretty strong. :)

Sometimes, again with a toy, I practice pushing it out and pulling it back in with no hands involved.

Yeah, yeah, my vagina and I play some games together sometimes... :D
danger_kittykat on May 9th, 2012 02:11 am (UTC)
Certainly sounds fun though! I suppose at some point I'll find out exactly how much my vagina can bench press.
nocebo_domingonocebo_domingo on May 9th, 2012 12:14 am (UTC)
I'm going to recommend the L Fleurcup. It's one of the highest capacity cups available; it's soft; and it pops open quickly and reliably. It is on the medium-short side so you will probably have to bear down to reach the base. This is learnable and worth it, plus the Fleur has a comfortable flat tab stem to help you work the base down. (pulling out by the stem is uncomfortable and not recommended but if you are panicky and can't reach the base it's a fall-back)
nocebo_domingonocebo_domingo on May 9th, 2012 12:16 am (UTC)
Oh and ps: the seal is utterly trusty.
danger_kittykat on May 9th, 2012 12:20 am (UTC)
According to the comparison shots Juliiie posted the L Fleurcup is fairly similar to the XL Meluna..I'm not enthused about digging around, but they seem pretty comparable at this point. I'll mark one for the L Fleurcup! Thank you!
Tessgryphonwing on May 9th, 2012 12:45 am (UTC)
The large Diva is my cup of choice and I love it. Fits me beautifully. I also have a medium Meluna classic for lighter days, but I prefer my Diva. Sounds like your cervix is high enough for any cup to fit (unless it's lower and you're missing it somehow) and a longer cup is a bit easier to remove if your cervix is high. My much shorter Meluna goes wandering and requires some bearing down to reach.

I don't really use the stem, so the Diva's short stem has never bothered me. I like the squish - my Meluna is stiffer and I find that although it's easier to make sure it pops open it sometimes pops open before I want it to, especially during removal (I partially fold it to remove it), which can be annoying (and splattery). I started out with the squishier cup, though - so some of this is just what I'm used to. I mostly have the Meluna because it's blue and glittery. It's quite firm but I don't feel it when it's in any more than I do the Diva. Stiffer cups hold their shape better overall, which can be good (doesn't get crushed!) or bad (doesn't fit right when lying down!) depending on your vagina.

Neither cup leaks for me - I think high-cervix people probably have fewer leaks in general, because there's not really much risk of the cervix sitting beside or half-in the cup. Also I have some seriously powerful pelvic floor muscles, particularly for someone my age - and I've never had kids. I could probably wear a small cup without any trouble if I wanted to. You could encounter leaking issues with any cup, of course. I've just been lucky. :)

It sounds like you're comfortable exploring the region, so I think probably any cup you try will work pretty well, and some will work better than others. The learning curve seems to be markedly shorter for those of us who are already used to poking around in there. :) I'd go for a larger-bodied long cup, especially if you verify the where's-my-cervix effect (mine's unreachable, by me anyway, very nearly all the time; just pre-period and on day 1 it's baaaaarely reachable by someone with longer fingers than mine).

In sum: you sound a whole lot like me and I love my large Diva. But if you're enough like me, most cups will probably work juuuuust fine, so go with your gut and don't worry about it. :)
danger_kittykat on May 9th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
Well, the ease of shipping on a diva is very appealing as I do love amazon prime..! I just want to get a good pool of ideas on which I should go with so it'll make me feel more secure in my decision. I'm just not in the mood to throw around the time or dough to keep trying to figure out which one is the best (zero patience, I know, I know, my health, my vagina..)..

So your vote is generally for the Diva! Thank you!
Arrow_Brightarrow_bright on May 9th, 2012 04:44 am (UTC)
Of the ones mentioned, the XL Meluna, L Yuuki, and L Fleurcup have the highest capacities (as listed at the sizecharts) at 30 ml, 29-35 mL, and 29-30 mL, respectively. After that, the L Diva is 25-26.5. Really, any of those would probably work. One person has done a bunch of cup reviews here: http://menstrualcups.wordpress.com/ She does them all from her personal perspective, but she does review each feature and brings up different considerations.
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on May 9th, 2012 06:30 am (UTC)
Stop worrying so much and just pick one. The large Diva sounds fine. Even though we fuss a lot here about size and stiffness and so on, in reality, most users will get on fine with most cups. And if you don't like it you can try another one~
m03m on May 9th, 2012 09:58 am (UTC)
Exactly. And since you'll then know what about your first cup doesn't work for you, there is a very good chance that your second cup will be perfect.

I bought a Ladycup as my first cup, without doing much research at all. It worked pretty well. After a year and a half, I found that the pointy end where I'd cut off the stem started irritating my vagina. So I looked for a round-bottomed cup, bought a Fleurcup, and we're perfectly happy together ever since.

Before getting a cup, I would never have guessed that the conical shape of the Ladycup would start causing me discomfort. But that's how it goes. We can't always see these things coming, other people can't always prepare us either, and we can't prevent all of them.
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on May 9th, 2012 10:02 am (UTC)
Yup, I was terribly scientific about my first choice, and couldn't actually get it in. Randomly bought a Diva from my local coop in annoyance and I love it. It's tough to tell what you need before you try it.