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charissa080
Hi. I'm Rissa, 22 years old. I've had my ladycup small for two weeks. I've done all dry runs for the moment since my period doesn't start until the end of this week. I'm a virgin and I couldn't get it in the first time, so I did what everyone suggests and tried to stretch my opening. I do not see a hymen, but I feel a remnant of one just inside. Stupid, bad tampon experience broke it for sure (found out that dry tampons are incredibly painful to get out.. hence my desire for a cup. Oh, and that I'm possibly allergic to them. Let's not tempt fate, shall we?). I got to where I could fit two fingers past the middle knuckles, so I figured I was in good shape. My cervix is rather high. I can barely reach it with my index. My urethra is rather low, though, parallel with the opening of my vagina. I find it odd, but not a problem I don't think. Oh, and one of my inner labias are penny-sized, i.e. larger than the other. Don't know if either of those are signs of more issues. Never been told they would be, but here we go with the problems:

At first the opening was just so tight I couldn't bear it. Did some periodical stretching. Then I got it in half-way and it tried to open, so I pulled it out. Gave it a couple more days. Then I got it farther in and it wouldn't open. Few more days. Now, tonight, relaxed and laying down, I get it in as far as I can, with part of the base still sticking out, and it opens. My thought process here:
"Wow. That feels tight.. oh VERY tight. Oh OW OW OW OW *wanting to scream, but not wanting to wake mom*"
I squeeze the base to break suction, hear it AND feel it.. more "OW OW OW OW  SHEEEEEEEEEE"
And I teeter it out in 2 seconds. Now blood. Oy.

Now I'm scared to death to put it back in. It was like a nerve went absolutely nuts and shot a bullet of pain all up there. I wonder if the very fleshy tissue in the anterior side has anything to do with it. The posterior side is smooth like a muscle, but the anterior has parallel vertical "folds" almost that are very soft.

I'm fine now. No pain after I took it out. Just a light feeling of needing to pee, like all the times before.

Please help. I really want to get away from stinky pads. :(
 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on May 6th, 2012 08:59 am (UTC)
Your anatomy sounds totally standard, I don't think any of that's causing the problem. Are you using lube of any kind to get it in? Also, it might go easier when you're actually on your period. I'm definitely not a virgin, but I find having my cup in when I'm not on my period very uncomfortable.
charissa080charissa080 on May 7th, 2012 04:11 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the reassurance! I have not purchased any lube. This last time I used a bit of saliva on the rim and had no insertion problems. Just the whole pain on the inside..
Ashatenlegspider on May 6th, 2012 09:48 am (UTC)
Agreed that your anatomy sounds perfectly normal. If you've only looked at stylised diagrams you'd probably expect your urethra to be quite distinct from the whole area of your vagina, but it's not. As for labia, they vary a lot and many women have dangly and/or asymmetrical ones (almost-safe-for-work link).

The soft foldy stuff you describe is your urethral sponge, also known as the g-spot. It's sensitive and poking it when it doesn't want to be poked makes you feel like you need to pee, so it could be that that's what you're catching.

The only suggestion I've got is lube. Without it things don't move around easily and are likely to be painful. With enough lube your cup won't catch bits of your mucus membrane and is likely to get into the right position without you doing much. I can understand that this might not seem like a convincing solution right now, though.
juliiie87juliiie87 on May 6th, 2012 10:52 am (UTC)
All of the above, and above all that you need to RELAX. Easier said then done, I know. But it's mostly the muscles around the opening that make you "tight" or loose. Keep your jaw slack and even try pushing a little (bearing down) to make sure everything is as open as can be. Also, it might be obvious but make sure you pull most of the skin tissue out of the way. You'll get it in no time !

Edited at 2012-05-06 10:53 am (UTC)
Ashatenlegspider on May 6th, 2012 11:03 am (UTC)
While actual tightness does come from the muscles, a lot of the feeling of tightness is really friction, as I was just going on about in another post. I think it's worth emphasising because while relaxing is not that straightforward (good hints though), putting some lube on really is.
juliiie87juliiie87 on May 6th, 2012 11:11 am (UTC)
Oh I was just reading your other post and thought about saving it for later use, because of how detailed and informative it was !
Link : http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2860452.html#comments

Water and pulling tissues aside usually does it for my cup, but I definitely experienced friction issues during intercourse, so I quite literally "feel" you (pun attempted).
charissa080charissa080 on May 7th, 2012 04:13 am (UTC)
Ah! Thank you for answering that part of the query. That does make sense. I figured if I could get it in, I didn't need lube but I guess I'll have to pick some up and see if it helps. Thanks!
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on May 6th, 2012 04:29 pm (UTC)
this sounds weird but you kind of need to relax and bear down at the same time.
i'm almost 22 too, happy cup user for nearly two years:) still a virgin but using wide cups just fine.
try it again on your period, should be easier :)

was it deep enough when it opened? this sounds kinda similar to my dry runs but it was actually hurting the.. i think it's called the fourchette.

see this post about popping open http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2618390.html#cutid1
seachelle76seachelle76 on May 7th, 2012 12:06 am (UTC)
Even though I've only been using my cup for two cycles and was extremely lucky to not have a learning curve, I hope you'll find my advice helpful. I was once a virgin who had to go to a sex therapist due to dyspareunia when I became sexually active- so I know a bit about pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contracting and the pain that can cause.

First- you're normal. Relax. You're not used to sticking anything in your vagina (and had issues with tampons) so don't freak out and go slowly.
Second- others were right when they told you to use lubrication. If you're not on your period, you likely need lubrication. It's ALWAYS easier during your period.
Third- it could be the angle of insertion that is causing you trouble.
Fourth- perhaps you need to try different folds to see which ones work the best for opening. Personally, I've found that the c-fold works best for me in this regard.
charissa080charissa080 on May 12th, 2012 05:08 am (UTC)
YAY!
UPDATE: I waited a week, my period started today, and I was able to insert with no problems! Slight half-second pain when it opened and caused suction, but now I can't feel it! The stem sticks out, but I don't want to trim it until I'm sure it won't ride up. It's flexible, so I'll deal with it for now. Sleeping with it tonight! THANK you for your advice, everyone. You're right, sometimes dry runs just don't work. :)