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05 April 2012 @ 09:34 pm
Okay, I'm a short time lurker and first time poster here.  This community is so reassuring and frankly, inspiring, but I need HELP.  Stats!  Sexually active, under 30 with child, using #2 Diva cup.  I  am currently in the midst of the first cycle since I had my baby.  I bought my cup while I was pregnant because I figured I wouldn't have the leftover brain power to worry/deal with the hassle of my menses when I got them back.  AND LO.  I do not.  Tampons?  Pads?  I super hate all this BS.  

So I read the instructions and did my best to insert my cup.  I was surprised how quickly it worked!  It popped while I was putting it in the first time, and seemed to settle itself (I tried to do the whole 360 degree turning thing, but couldn't get a good grip) inside my body.  There was some minor cramping, but nothing serious.  It felt, well, great.  I sort of fell in love immediately.  I felt secure, and there were NO leaks.  I slept with it with no issue, woke up to a clean panty liner.  Yay!  And then, I tried to get it out.

And tried.  And tried.

I reread the instructions.  I squatted.  I pushed, I gripped, but the thing is damn slippery.  Also, I could barely get a hold of it.  It felt like it was way up there and not really super near to the edge of my vagina like it's supposed to be.  Even with my longest finger, I couldn't get it.  Finally, because I was panicking and my husband had to go to work, he fished it out.  But even he had trouble, and I had to lie down in the tub for him to get it out (we tried standing up, but he couldn't get at it either).

I was devastated.  For the next day, questions rolled through my mind.  Did I put it in wrong?  Should I have tried to keep it closer to the entrance of the vagina?  Is my canal super long?  I have never found my cervix, and neither has (ahem) my  husband.  But I am also determined.  I did pads/tampons for a day and wanted to kill myself.  I have an 8 month old.  I can't deal with that and a more than a week (yes, eight goddamn days) of this every month.  I missed the cup even though I'd only tried it once.  So I asked my husband if he would (ahem) support me if I put this thing inside me again and couldn't get it out and he said of course (he is super supportive, even though I know this time of the month is something that skeeves him out a bit).

So it's back in.  Like, right now.  It feels great.  I also feel like my body just sucks it in and positions it itself no matter what I do, so trying to keep it closer to the entrance didn't work.  I tried  to see if I could get it out myself about a half hour later and all I got was a pained wrist and no cup.  I just can't seem to get in there far enough to grab it.  In 11 hours, I have to get it out again and I don't know what I'm going to doooooo waaaah, first world problems a bloo bloo.  Please help me.

TTYL because ZOMG WHY DID I WRITE A NOVEL ABOUT A FEMININE DEVICE: I can't get this thing out, what am I doing wrong. 
misheymomisheymo on April 6th, 2012 01:55 am (UTC)
i had to give up my diva for a lunette because the stem has grips on it. the best thing for me was to get it out in the shower bearing down while tugging with a wash cloth.
Arrow_Brightarrow_bright on April 6th, 2012 02:53 am (UTC)
Once they're in the vagina, a cup will travel wherever it pleases. You can't really control where it goes after insertion, so you're not doing anything wrong in that respect. The diagrams are somewhat useless when it comes to actual usage.

I used to have a similar problem with my Moon Cup (US) because the hollow tube stem would get so slick. What helped me was to bear down and grasp the stem as well as I could, digging my nail into it to my grip. Still bearing down, I would gently pull it out while tilting it up and down. As soon as the base was in reach, I would use my other hand to pinch the base to break the seal and take it out.

I also had some other issues with the cup, so for my next cup, I opted for a cup with a flat tube stem with grips, which makes it a bit easier to get out.
Maxine of Arcmaxineofarc on April 6th, 2012 03:10 am (UTC)
It's true, a cup will find its own place to sit. What I do is remove my Diva on the toilet- sitting that way makes it easy for me to bear down and move the cup down where I can grab it easily.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on April 6th, 2012 03:10 am (UTC)
Well, the good news is that you happen to have bought the longest cup on the market for your long vag. PHEW! Imagine the trouble you'd be having if you'd bought a shorter cup. Eeek!

Despite the instructions to insert it low, a cup will ride where ever it darn well pleases -- and that is usually (O) around your cervix. Apparently yours is really high and therefore your cup followed it up.

Read the tags about REMOVAL for good advice. Bear down, stay relaxed and most importantly TAKE YOUR TIME. Some find that squatting in a tub or shower brings the cup down low enough to get a good grip.

It's a messy way but if you can get a finger up alongside the cup, try squishing it -- "hot dog in a bun" -- then slide the whole thing down low enough to grasp it.

Hang in there! You've ALMOST got it. You'll eventually figure out a good way to remove your cup and get a good chuckle out of your learning curve struggles.
skysosskysos on April 6th, 2012 03:29 am (UTC)
Make sure when you bear down that if you stop to take a breath, you HOLD your position! If you push, release, push, release, you'll get nowhere. And push hard! It's not like you're going to hurt yourself.

You can do it! My first time went about like yours. Now I'm a pro though! You got this! :)
tinkerandcrabtinkerandcrab on April 6th, 2012 04:22 am (UTC)
Speaking as a fellow high-cerviced person, I just want to chime in and say "You can doooo it!"

Also, about the "bearing down": I read and reread this community and thought I knew all about the bearing down and thought I was doing it, but then my last cycle (like my 5th or 6th cycle using a cup) something finally clicked, and I realized that I hadn't been bearing down at all, but that I actually could do it quite well once I applied myself in earnest. Sometimes we're so much in our heads and being analytical that we lose our connection with our bodies... motor memory is a whole 'nother animal, and that's what you're training during this learning curve. It does get better.
acat112233acat112233 on April 6th, 2012 06:18 am (UTC)
^^^agree with everyone above
I second all the great advice given here!

I managed to lose the mooncup (I have both the US, UK versions. The same problem with both!) in my vagina. I spent over 45 min trying to yank it out. I was so panicked I almost gave up and went to the clinic to have it removed :D . What ended up working for me:

1) I had to squat to move the cup lower.
2) Bear down, relax, but don't allow the cup to creep back up.
3) If you find the cup/stem to be too slippery, dry your fingers off occasionally. (Melissa of Zanashop gives this great piece of advice in her review for the Lady Cup right before the 2:00 mark http://menstrualcupinfo.wordpress.com/ladycup-review-with-photos/)
4) This job required two hands. I had to keep alternating when one hand cramped up/got tired. Also, it helped me break the seal (one hand grasping the stem, I used a finger from the free hand to dent the side into the "hot dog bun" shape :D)

It got easier, but I didn't like having to use two hands or having to dig so much. After that experience, I decided I needed a different stem type and went with MeLuna's ring stemmed cups. I'm also going to give the Si-Bell cup a try.

Hope this helps, good luck! It will get better! :)

dareva on April 6th, 2012 06:56 am (UTC)
I had the same problem when trying out my Diva Cup. I thought I'd never get it out. It had apparently gone to Narnia in there. Even now that I am used to it, my cup still rides high and getting it out can be a little troublesome at times. What I do is put one foot up on the toilet, and grab the stem, bearing down while wiggling the cup down by the stem. Sometimes it takes longer than other times. I don't know if my method works for others, though.

AmandaAutoclave239 on April 6th, 2012 11:07 am (UTC)
Guys, you are an immense help. I finally figured it out by sitting on the toilet. That position really shortens my canal while allowing me to relax, where squatting makes me super tense. I was able to fish it out without issue! I am now a complete convert (and my husband was happy to "stay out of it", lol).

Part of the issue was we had a bad night. Baby going through sleep regression, and had bitten one breast so badly that it was throbbing all night long. This morning I just didn't have it in me to panic or worry. I just sat down and pulled it out!

Arrow_Brightarrow_bright on April 6th, 2012 03:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Update: THANK YOU
I'm glad to hear it worked out for you!
ladyjz on April 11th, 2012 03:31 pm (UTC)
thanks so much for this comment
I am a new Divacup user and was so frustrated this morning trying to get my cup out that I finally just gave up figuring it will have to come out at some point.
I googled "I can't get my diva cup out" and found this awesome board. I am so happy that someone else asked this question as well, now I don't feel like such a dork!
I am going to try some of these great suggestions and keep using my Diva cup. I have loved the first few days, other than the initial "learning curve" issues. It's so freeing not dragging around pads, pantiliners, and tampons all the time.