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Jessalyn Whitlock
22 February 2012 @ 09:34 pm
I've had my small lunette cynthia for about 6 months now, and in that 6 months i've only actually inserted it 2 times. pathetic i know. the first time was a dry run, my friend who is a cup user suggested pleasuring myself before inserting and it was RIDICULOUSLY easy to insert that time, removal was pretty easy too. the second time was at my friends house, i forced myself to relax and insert it because we were going to her grandparents beach house and we would be swimming, i didn't want to insert it there so i put it in in like 1 minute. it was a little bit painful but i used a little bit of water-based lube and got it in while in a full squat position. i couldn't feel it very much unless i moved my legs really far while swimming. removal was a different story, it took almost 10 minutes, it hurt like all hell and i felt like screaming every time i tried to take it out. it felt like i was giving birth. (ok..maybe not that bad..). i finally got it out and my crotch was sore for almost an hour after that.

i should probably mention that i'm a virgin, i'm 15 years old, and i'm NOT a tampon user, never used one. i use pads, and i really hate them. they feel hot during the even when i change them frequently, they give me a rash when i wear them for several days, and i can feel the fluid streaming out of me in little clots every once in a while to the point where i shudder. 

recently i've been working on getting my cup in again after that crappy experience at my friends house. i get to the point where i get it mostly in, and i know i can get it in, but all of the sudden it makes this revolting suction noise and it feels like it's pumping air into my vagina and i want to throw up because it feels so gross! i know i sound like a drama queen but i just don't like weird feelings down there, it doesn't go in smoothly, it suctions the air and pushes on the sides of my vaginal opening and pops open too early and it hurts :(

some help please? mostly about the suction thing. thank you so much in advance! i would love to use cups instead of environmentally UNfriendly pads! 

Additional info: i just had this intense inspiration to go in the bathroom and try it out as i'm on my period now, but i had incredible pain. i tried inserting like 15 times, each time i would get it about halfway in and then either chicken out, feel too much pain, feel really uncomfortable, or it would pop open too soon. then on the last try i thought i had it so i moved my fingers down and let it pop open halfway but i had released it too soon, and it popped all the way open and BURNED. just...oww. please help? ahaha i'm starting to lose hope :-/
ever so slightly obsessedscien on February 23rd, 2012 08:37 am (UTC)
Mod note
Please don't change your font size or colour, it makes it less readable on people's friends pages.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on February 23rd, 2012 10:11 am (UTC)
Re: Mod note
http://prntscr.com/6e6ci yeah... i love it though :D
Jessalyn WhitlockJessalyn Whitlock on February 24th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC)
Re: Mod note
ok i changed it. i thought that it was ok since it was an option when i was writing the post.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on February 23rd, 2012 11:09 am (UTC)
so do you basically have problems popping open? http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2618390.html#cutid1
as for other things... this opening too soon thing happened a lot on my dry runs but for some reason practically never after that. and i really have to maneuver, my cervix is really really low.
i think an important factor here is how exactly you hold the cup folded. this is how it works for me http://lockerz.com/s/71359161 when actually inserting, i press it like that against my vulva.
also, get more familiar with your anatomy. somehow just realizing that popping open too soon means the rim was outside my body and pressing on my, i think it's called fourchette. that "pocket" at the bottom. so, even just realizing it helps me avoid it now.

i recommend not trying when you think you're likely to "chicken out". seeing as it worked out fine when you had time pressure... maybe you could set a timer? just decide that if you don't have it in within 5 mins, you stop trying and put it off. also, did you use water-based lube on other tries? it might be useful even while on your period.

as for removal, check the tag. i can't recommend much as a low cervix girl. just relax and bear down at the same time, idk if this makes sense. you could try folding it partially, into a C or punchdown fold. btw try various folds for insertion too! try the labia fold especially.

also, it seems like slowly and calmly is the way for you... so while you're getting used to your cup, get some cloth pads! to me, the main downside of them is that you have to wear tight underpants for them to be, like, completely unnoticeable. but they're DEFINITELY better than disposable pads. try this site, it explains the various styles well: http://clothpads.org/ don't get too many at first...get one or two in different styles and shapes.

that said, yeah, you do sort of need to pump air. into your cup, not your vagina. try whether my tricks can help you with popping open ^_^ but if you don't like them either (cold water isn't ouchy, honestly!), the other option is getting a stiffer cup. you probably won't feel it either but it might be uncomfortable during insertion/removal. but it'll be easier to insert/remove.
before you get another cup though, give this one some more time. decide what you dislike about it, if anything.

also by now, are you able to insert the cup without looking? took me some time in the beginning (i'm also a virgin who's never used tampons. i was 20 when i got my first cup though - also a small lunette).

and random but i don't think i've ever heard a mum compare removal to giving birth.
Jessalyn WhitlockJessalyn Whitlock on February 24th, 2012 12:48 am (UTC)
thank you VERY much! this was super helpful, i just got it in pointing the cup a different way! removal...ehh..not looking forward to it.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on February 24th, 2012 03:48 am (UTC)
Re: thanks!
yes, it's important not to aim up! i had read about it 345783568 times and i still did that on my very first try, i also didn't relax XDDDDD
gross but i'd describe the angle as making it come out through your bum :D
juliiie87juliiie87 on February 23rd, 2012 12:43 pm (UTC)
Try various folds from this video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6L-POE-b0

For me, I find labia fold, origami and... diamond fold work best, although they are amongst the most complicated. Try origami and labia fold especially like Serpent said, and hold it folded all the way down and slowly insert it folded as far as you can (using lube if it hurts) before letting go. Unless your cervix is really low and gets in the way, this should prevent your cup from opening too soon. While doing this, make sure your jaw is slack and you're as relaxed as can be. Pain is often a cue that you are clenching your muscles. Actively relaxing them is kinda similar to pushing when you empty your bladder, I think. Pleasuring yourself can also make you more relaxed.

The position you're in makes a great deal of difference too. Squatting is more of a removal position for me. I find that lying on my bed, knees splayed, resting on my elbow makes ecverything so much more relaxed down there. It also allows for the cup to pops open more easily.

Suction is a normal part of how the cup works, and it's especially vital to break it for removal. I compare this to deflating a balloon by squeezing and pressing it ; you can do that with just one finger slid alongside your cup, pressing against it. Then you can try partially refolding in a C-fold while dragging it out, so it's smaller. But then again the key is to RELAX.

Check the removal tags on the sidebar for more techniques. Above all, don't rush it and don't be hard on yourself, there's a learning curve and you'll manage it eventually !
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on February 23rd, 2012 01:00 pm (UTC)
yes, yes, relaxing is also important for insertion. seconding basically everything you said:)
(i don't think the OP has a low cervix, given these troubles with removal)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on February 23rd, 2012 02:17 pm (UTC)
Have you read the Virgins Guide to Cups yet? http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.html GREAT info in there and in the comments.

As you've discovered, removal can be harder than insertion. The trick is to get air into/above your cup so you don't create suction. Use your finger on the soft back side of your vagina to create an air channel to get air up there.

If your hymen isn't in the way, you're probably clenching your PC muscles. To isolate them, next time you go pee, start and stop your stream a few times. Then insert your finger and give it a little squeeze. Now that you know how to contract them on command, practice RELAXING them on command. You'll need to do that for insertion and especially removal. Open your mouth a little and keep your jaw slack -- and don't forget to breathe! :o)
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum. Now I'm borrowed. Now I'm numb.notxdeadxyet on February 23rd, 2012 02:38 pm (UTC)
My removal trick is to give just the slightest tug to the stem. You don't want to try and remove it via the stem, you just want to work the cup down a little bit. Once you can reach the bottom of the cup with your fingers, pinch the cup gently and pull. The pinching breaks the suction.
As for insertion, everyone here has excellent ideas. Try the different folds and you'll find the one that works best for you.
Angela Heckmanaxjohnson on February 23rd, 2012 06:22 pm (UTC)
If you have water based lubricant at all that can help, KY jelly sold at stores can help, put a little drop on rub it inside and out side of the cup and it should glide easily, also... have you looked at different folding techniques to make it easier? I use the C-fold and the punch down fold.
eb1223 on February 23rd, 2012 11:39 pm (UTC)
Triangle fold works great for me!(15 and a virgin also) Try that with some lube. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!
Jessalyn WhitlockJessalyn Whitlock on February 24th, 2012 12:49 am (UTC)
thank you! i did that, got it in and i'm wearing it now LOL
eb1223 on February 24th, 2012 01:02 am (UTC)
awesome I'm so glad it worked! pretty new at this myself haha :)
Kristenkrissyluuful89 on February 24th, 2012 03:44 am (UTC)
I have been using cups for over a year now, I'm about to turn 16 and I'm a virgin. For insertion I agree with the others who say staying relaxed is *very* important. Also, what fold are you using? I found that the labia fold is the easiest to insert, the smallest in diameter, and it doesn't open too soon for me. I started out with a small lady cup because I figured that I wanted to either break my hymen, or stretch it and a smaller rim wouldn't be too drastic.
A really good trick that I haven't heard of here for removal is to take it out in the bath. When my hymen wasn't used to cups removal was *painful* and I couldn't get it out. When in a warm bath your relaxed, and it made insertion a breeze until I was able to stretch my hymen. It looked weird having pink water when I got out but I drained it and got over it. I've heard of removing in the shower, but in a bath your muscles expand and my vagina was more flexible and there was water between my cup and vagina, it made removal a lot easier for me. I also second the idea of getting to know your anatomy.
A great thing about cups is that you don't have to dive into them, you can get used to them slowly and they can wait until your ready. Good luck :)
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on February 24th, 2012 11:17 am (UTC)
exactly, good point that last one. even my mum made the switch quite slowly and still uses pads at night and as backup.