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I am about to give up! - Menstrual Cups - Divacup, Mooncup, Instead, Lunette, Miacup — LiveJournal
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So...I am about 3 months into using the Diva Cup and while I love it in theory, that has not translated into practice! It always leaks. The problem seems to be that it stays folded. I am assuming that is the issue as when I pull it out it is still partially folded or I hear/feel it pop open as I am pulling it out. I don't know if I've done one too many Kegels and have vaginal walls of steel but I can't get it to properly open. I have tried numerous different folds and I have no trouble inserting it. I have tried twisting it as it goes in or once it is in...moving it all around by the stem to try and get it to open, sticking my fingers up the side...all without success. It feels like it has suctioned at the time of insertion but it hasn't. I've read lots of posts and have tried suggestions I have seen to no avail. Also I have a high cervix so sometimes retrieving the cup requires extensive maneuvers leaving me with a sore wrist, and cramped fingers. I am losing hope that I can use a cup, as much as I'd like to. If anyone has any other tips I can try, let me know.
17 comments —
Honestly, my best advice is to keep trying -- maybe take a break from it for a few cycles and come back and start over.
I had this problem too, for months. And it really got me down so I gave up, and stopped trying for five or six months. Then on a whim I decided to try the cup again, sat down, went through all the memories here... and lo and behold, that cycle I suddenly got the hang of it, and I've been able to wear it for every cycle since (about 9, now) without any major leaks! (If there is, I just rejig it a bit.)
Sometimes it just takes quite a bit of time and error and poking around to get it in the right place for you. Or, you might have better success with a different type of cup?
I had this problem too, for months. And it really got me down so I gave up, and stopped trying for five or six months. Then on a whim I decided to try the cup again, sat down, went through all the memories here... and lo and behold, that cycle I suddenly got the hang of it, and I've been able to wear it for every cycle since (about 9, now) without any major leaks! (If there is, I just rejig it a bit.)
Sometimes it just takes quite a bit of time and error and poking around to get it in the right place for you. Or, you might have better success with a different type of cup?
I have a Diva cup too (and a high cervix). What I do is use the punch-down fold, and then hold the cup so the fold is pointing down (towards the back wall of my vagina). My finger is against the fold. Then I insert it and move my finger out of the way, so the cup unfolds. Sometimes it's still not completely open, so I run my finger all the way around the cup as I push down a little with my PC muscles (so I can be sure I'm reaching the top of the cup). That usually pops it open. Then I give it a little push by the bottom/stem and it's good to go.
Not sure if that'll help or not, but maybe it'll give you something to try that you haven't yet.
Not sure if that'll help or not, but maybe it'll give you something to try that you haven't yet.
have you tried the cold water trick? for me it works with cups way softer than the diva, but i have to let any cup open as soon as the rim is in because of my low cervix.
when you stick your fingers, make sure you hold it like that long enough. 20 seconds maybe. you might hear a sound as air goes in.
there's no such thing as too many kegels, just make sure you are relaxed when you're inserting the cup. keep your jaw slack, relax your shoulders too, try a more comfortable position (maybe not standing. sitting on the toilet? squatting? lying in bed on really light days?)
as for "I am losing hope that I can use a cup", at the very least you shouldn't have problems with a stiffer one, like a large lunette. but you might also be able to feel it.
when you stick your fingers, make sure you hold it like that long enough. 20 seconds maybe. you might hear a sound as air goes in.
there's no such thing as too many kegels, just make sure you are relaxed when you're inserting the cup. keep your jaw slack, relax your shoulders too, try a more comfortable position (maybe not standing. sitting on the toilet? squatting? lying in bed on really light days?)
as for "I am losing hope that I can use a cup", at the very least you shouldn't have problems with a stiffer one, like a large lunette. but you might also be able to feel it.
Hi! It sounds like you're still stuck in the learning curve. I use a diva too. I usually use the C fold because it pops open most easily for me. Sometimes I use punch down though. Try experimenting with different folds, and inserting them at different angles. Anyways once inserted, I don't do any twirling or stuff, I just unfold it manually with my hand. Otherwise it takes a really long time for the cup to pop open, and my vagina walls just seem to be pretty narrow or something. Then I run a finger around the base to make sure it's round and open (or ovalish) and I'm good to go.
Keep reading more stuff! You'll get there eventually. :) Also these videos might help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLPBZz3uJEg
Keep reading more stuff! You'll get there eventually. :) Also these videos might help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLPBZz3uJEg
I also have a Diva and had a few problems with getting it to open. Now, I use the punch-down fold, insert, and then squeeze the bottom part... it's hard to describe? I push it open by squeeze the bottom, just under the rim that's inside the cup, so that it moves up and eventually opens. Oh my, I hope you can understand that. I've never seen that as a tip in this community, but maybe someone else can describe it better.
haha, I do that same maneuver, and I've often thought that it's so much easier to do than it is to describe! I think you described it well though. :)
The Diva is a soft squishy cup and it has TEENY little anti-suction holes around the rim.
Try different folds. Face them this way and that way. Sometimes facing the folded part the other way makes all the difference in the world.
The idea is to get air into/above the cup to get it to open. Create an air channel with your finger on the soft back side of your vagina to get that air in.
And finally, try enlarging the anti-suction holes around the rim. Just be careful not to start a tear.
Try different folds. Face them this way and that way. Sometimes facing the folded part the other way makes all the difference in the world.
The idea is to get air into/above the cup to get it to open. Create an air channel with your finger on the soft back side of your vagina to get that air in.
And finally, try enlarging the anti-suction holes around the rim. Just be careful not to start a tear.
imjustlittle on April 22nd, 2011 01:05 am (UTC)For me, insertion involves either c or punchdown fold. I then insert it about a third of the way, let it pop open and then while pushing the bottom of the cup upward, i kegel simultaneously. Then i run my finger all along the edge to make sure that there are no dents and that my cervix is in there. If i find dents or touch my cervix at any point while checking along the edge, i remove the cup and start over. When i can run my finger along the edge and find nothing but rounded out cup, it was a successful insertion.
Dont give up! It could very well be that the Diva just isnt the right cup for you. I was lucky enough to have two brands to try out on my first cycle. One did NOT work at all, and the other did. I know they're a bit pricey, but its worth finding the right one.
Dont give up! It could very well be that the Diva just isnt the right cup for you. I was lucky enough to have two brands to try out on my first cycle. One did NOT work at all, and the other did. I know they're a bit pricey, but its worth finding the right one.
jecado on April 22nd, 2011 02:43 am (UTC)Thanks all! You have given me a few new ideas to try. So glad to hear others have had the same issue. I will spend more time with facing the fold back and trying to get it to open manually. Maybe I am not as flexible or have shorter arms or stubby fingers but I find it hard to get my fingers up and around to the rim of the cup. I don't believe I have ever touched my cervix. I'll keep trying!
Have you tried moving the cup down before you try to remove it? It takes some practice but you basically bear down with your abdominal muscles as though you were having a bowel movement. I use a Diva and have a high cervix, and doing this I can move the cup down to where I can easily get hold of it and get a finger alongside to break the seal.
jecado on April 22nd, 2011 03:01 am (UTC)yes...I have to bear down and try and pull it down to get it out. Basically it is quite the circus act. Even with bearing down sometimes it is really hard to grip the stem as it is so high up. I can get one finger on it but to get a grasp to pull on it is very hard. It is slippery too when wet so difficult to get a hold of! Sometimes I am able to get it out fairly easily and other times it still takes me a good 20 minutes of contortions. I am not sure why sometimes it goes much higher up than other times.
probably depends on how high your cervix sits:) the diva is already the longest cup though.
I just skimmed the comments, so forgive me if I'm repeating someone, but have you tried... the "dance"? I insert mine and then don't bother with twisting it or trying to manually open it. I do a few circling and figure-eight movements with my hips, then bear down and it always seems to pop open fine in it's own. Give it a try!
orgasms work for me! LOL (as long as it is in prior to the orgasm) The one day I had an issue, after I had an orgasm, everything seemed to be fixed! :) But the time I tried to put it in AFTER an orgasm, it got pushed back out! LOL
If you let the cup open low it tends to help with squishy cups. Sometimes, if a cup is being especially difficult to open, I'll insert and then do a few squats, and it will pop open.
I haven't ever had an issue removing a cup, so I'm not much help there. Best of luck!
I haven't ever had an issue removing a cup, so I'm not much help there. Best of luck!
madamenb on April 23rd, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)I also use a Diva and have a crazy high cervix and my first cycle was exactly what you are describing. I tried the C fold (that was a disaster), the punch down fold (thought it was open - it was not), the 7 fold (knew right away it wasn't open). What finally worked for me was the origami fold and letting it open up when it was completely in.
In terms of removal, I had the same problems. Now, I make sure to sit on the toilet and REALLY push. That usually brings it down to where I don't need to use the stem at all. If it doesn't, I try again.
In terms of removal, I had the same problems. Now, I make sure to sit on the toilet and REALLY push. That usually brings it down to where I don't need to use the stem at all. If it doesn't, I try again.