When it came, I was on day 3 of my period, which I figured was just about the perfect time to try it out; my bleeding had slowed down a bit, so I wouldn't have the pressure of needing to change it as often/worry about leaking so much, perhaps...anyway, I spent some time lying on my bed trying to get the cup in, and after awhile realized that the stem was just too long. So, I snipped it with some scissors to perhaps 1/4 of its original length, and filed the edges so that they weren't jagged. Up until this point, even though I had wrestled with it and experienced some discomfort, nothing was really making me panic about it. Very straightforward process. I was having no trouble getting it in and having it pop open, and after snipping the stem it seemed to be PERFECT. Didn't even feel it, figured this was golden for a first day's try and I went about my life.
The trouble started when I went to take it out yesterday evening for a quick clean before putting it in for the night. It felt like the suction was really strong. I rocked it back and forth and tried to break the seal, bore down, etc., but this thing was tenacious. I got it out and it felt...bizarre. It hurt a fair amount, but mostly it just made me feel strange and upset. I was willing to accept that I just need practice, so I got it back in (no trouble there) and went to bed. As I said, I've hung around on this site, and I felt pretty aware of the learning curve and how sometimes removal is a trial the first few times. And I've seen posts here that deal with the suction not being strong enough to cause harm, etc.
I went to take it out this morning and it was worse. I don't even know that "pain" is the right word - it makes me shaky, and ready to cry, and sort of...faint? Lightheaded, I guess. I think it's because I'm so freaked out at the idea of it tugging on bits inside my body. It doesn't so much cause physical agony as make me concentrate on the sensation of being pulled from the inside out (not to be dramatic, but that's all I can think of). I got it out and, to make matters more mentally frazzling, my cervix was RIGHT THERE. I can actually see it, if I pull apart my inner lips. I've looked up a million and one pictures of the cervix, and descriptions of what it feels like, and I have no idea what else it could be. I've checked twice, a half hour apart, and there it is.
I really need a way to get the idea out of my head that the cup is actually yanking my cervix down, because this is impossible, yes? Logically, I just don't think the cup is capable of bullying my cervix down that far. I haven't taken the time, previously, to really locate my cervix throughout the month, and now I wish I had so that I would have some idea of what is "normal" for me. I do know that my cervix is easily reached during sex, so I suppose I'd always figured that it's not too high up most of the time, but this seems so low. And yet, not really painful and symptomatic, if that makes sense? My body feels fine, my cervix isn't jutting out or aching, it's just that I'm unused to SEEING it.
Does anyone have any guidance or pearls of wisdom on this? Seeing my cervix was like suddenly being confronted with my spleen - you know that feeling you get, where you're injured and you think "I'm fine," but then you look down, see the bone, and lose it? It was like a less intense version of that, I guess. Am I just totally weird? Did anyone else feel disappointed when things turned out to be troublesome, even when you felt prepared? My brain says it's cool and to just try again, and to relax, but of course I looked up things like "cervical prolapse" that make me worry that my organs are about to fall out :/ Basically: it's really hard to tell what is my mind is doing to me, versus what is actual pain. I think that with some practice, my cup and I will get along famously, but how do I get past this hurtle? And do you think it could be the MoonCup specifically - when do you decide to try a different cup?