All right then, I'm sixteen, and I've had a DivaCup stuffed into my vag for about nine hours now. After much trouble, I finally got the fucker to cram its way up there. So I think, "all right, I'll just leave it in there for tonight, and yank it out before work tomorrow. " Uh... more words, let's see...I'm not sure if I'm actually on my period, but yesterday I was leaking this milky bloody sort of stuff--WHOA TMI-- so I figure it's a brilliant idea to give the Diva a shot, as I've had it for over a year and only managed to stick it up there once prior to this (and took it out like 10 minutes after)
Now i cannot get the thing out. It's moved back like a mile since last night, where I could feel the stem like a centimetre in. I can now feel the stem about two inches in, and I can touch the base, but only on the top of it, if that makes sense. Like, I can't move my finger all the way around it. I can't fit both my index and thumb in to grab the stem, just my index finger and that is doing diddly-fucking-squat (Jesus, is everyone's vagina so damn meaty?).
I'm as bloody relaxed as I can get, I've tried continuely bearing down while fishing around up there, I even peed a little in the tub, if you must know. I'd rather off myself and let them remove the damn thing during the autopsy than enlist the help of another human being, so I'm gonna scratch that off the list of potential solutions.
I know I'm no where near the time-frame where I should start worrying, but I can't not. Haaaaalp LJ, I'm all whiny and cry-ee.
HOW THE DEVIL DO I GET THIS THING OUT.
Sorry; mucho profanity. That's me trying to be a big girl. :(
edit; Thanks for answering, guys. So I've pushed hard enough to expel several of my internal organs, and I think it's getting closer to the bottom. I think I might be able to get it out after work. I actually haven't even taken the suction into account, but once I get a grip of that fucker I'm gonna pull as hard as I bloody can, regardless of whether my intestines come with it. I can't get it out while squatting, 'cause I think the stem like, goes behind my hymen or something. I left it alone for now, 'cause my vag is starting to look like a dehydrated sea creature (seriously, I never realized what a disgusting orifice it is.) I found some disposable gloves, but they smelled like flowers or baby powder or something, so I didn't think that was very safe.
I told my supervisor (she's only a couple years older, we're pretty tight), and she thinks it's the single most hilarious thing she's ever heard.
I also told my best friend, who also laughed her ass off, and told me to 'take a dump and see if it falls out'.
...Truly, I'm surrounded by scholars. :/
My sister uses a cup, but she's a lot older than me, and the thought of her knuckle-deep in my snatch makes me want to vomit.
We'll see. D: