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10 June 2010 @ 08:42 pm
I'm a Newbie
So basically I got my cup today! Unfortunately I was one of those silly people who went and bought a Diva cup assuming it was the most widely used, and thus safest and best, one. Silly me.
Alright, so the first thing you need to know is that I am a virgin. And my reason for getting the cup is because I just generally despise tampons. I've never really been able to use them. I probably just put them in wrong and felt all faint afterwards and jumped to a TSS conclusion... but anyway. To me it just seems like, you wouldn't just randomly shove a bunch of tissues into your vagina, so how is a tampon okay? but about the cup...
After three failed attempts of actually getting it inside, I realized very quickly that trying to push a strange rubbery object into my vagina makes me have to pee. Immediately. I'm going to guess that the cup isn't fitting me right. I did successfully get it in once, but it was not comfortable. And the darn tip I couldn't get a grip on to remove. I don't know about you guys, but I guess I just haven't gotten used to foreign things sitting in my vagina... I don't know. Is that normal for someone who isn't used to it? It seems like even teenagers have very little issues in this aspect.
Anyway, I have a few questions I hope you don't mind me asking. What exactly is the deal with cups and TSS? I researched it a little bit and found out that there have not been any cases that anyone is aware of. And that it most often happens with tampons of high absorbency. But I also read somewhere that there is still a risk that is higher than 100% cotton tampons. Can anyone shed some light on this?
Also, I looked at the sizing chart you have on this site. You have a list of each of their dimensions and say to check to see how big your vagina is, but just how much smaller than the length of your vagina should the cup be? (it doesn't go around the cervix after all)
Personally I know that my size fluctuates one heck of a lot during a month. I mean, I'm at the end of my period now and it's only 45mm, but I absolutely know that sometimes my cervix is so far in that you can only just brush it with the edge of your nail. I'm guessing I should still buy a small one? If anyone has a suggestion for which one I should buy next, (I think I definitely need something softer, and, at the moment, I don't really care much about a little bit of leaking.) it would be greatly appreciated. A retailer as well. I bought my diva on amazon.
Thanks so much for your time everyone! I haven't given up yet! I think cups are great because they stretch out your vagina just enough to make your flow much more steady. (Though I guess that's my own assumption since I'm yet to get this to work)
Blah, I better stop before I fill up an entire page. Oh gee, I already did. Well thanks again!
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fireaphidfireaphid on June 11th, 2010 01:06 am (UTC)
I think your prior "experience with TSS" was probably a vasovagal reaction caused by pushing the tampon into your cervix, the home of the vagus nerve, which is responsible for fainting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasovagal_response.

TSS is caused by a common bacteria (staph, it's everywhere!) getting into the bloodstream. With tampons, the absorbency comes from fibers, either natural or synthetic. When dry, these fibers are abrasive to the delicate mucous membrane of the vagina and can cause small cuts, providing a way for this super common bacteria that's on the white-but-not-sterile tampons to get into the bloodstream and cause a dangerous disease. The risk is pretty low if you use the right absorbency for your flow and don't leave them in too long, but because cups are completely non-abrasive and non-absorbent, there is no risk with them.

As for inserting a cup, it can be really hard to do if you're not comfortable with your anatomy. I would recommend doing some self-exploration before trying again, so you can learn to relax the muscles at the entrance to the vagina and convince yourself that it can't get lost even when you have trouble gripping the stem. If you're looking for a guide to learning about your body, I'd recommend this site: http://the-clitoris.com/n_html/locating_the_vagina.htm (NSFW! contains photos of human anatomy).

I'd recommend sticking with the cup you have and trying to use it for a bit before you buy another one. You may find that this is all part of the learning curve; it takes most cup newbies a few cycles to get the hang of using a cup, so don't give up just yet. If you decide you need a new cup after all, you'll know what to look for if you have more experience with this one; it sounds like you want a stem/base with more grip aids as well as a shorter body of the cup and a softer rim, and I think the small Yukki fits the bill, but you may find more things you'd change after a little more experience. Good luck!
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lizsterineglizsterineg on June 11th, 2010 05:16 am (UTC)
This! (the self exploration bit). It will definitely help with understanding how the cup fits in you and where to put it, as well as getting used to you using your muscles, relaxing, etc. This advice helped me greatly. After many failed attempts, I put the cup aside for the rest of the cycle and took some time to get to know 'me' and the next cycle went so much better.
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Serpentserpent_849 on June 11th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
try fingering yourself?
i don't have a cup yet and i read this advice here about a week ago and started doing it... and i can already get two of my fingers in, wow it's so stretchy there O__o
oh and kegels are your friends too:)
good luck!
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Meghanmegamuphen on June 11th, 2010 01:52 am (UTC)
The first comment covers the TSS thing pretty well, as to your other questions... am I correct in assuming that you were doing a dry run and aren't on your period right now? You might want to give it another try when you are, for me, things tend to be more lubricated and less tight when I'm on my period. You might also find that while the cup is uncomfortable at first, you might get used to it and not notice it is there. When I first started using a cup it wasn't uncomfortable, but I could definitely tell that I had something in there. By the end of my first cycle I couldn't feel it at all.

Of course, the diva could just be too big or not the right shape. But I'd give it a little more time and practice before buying a new one, even if the diva doesn't end up working out for you, a little more experimenting will help you decide WHAT exactly isn't working about the diva (too wide? too long? you want something with good grips on the bottom? too short?)
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Kai: pic#84732488kuradi8 on June 11th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC)
I agree -- get to know your Diva before thinking of another cup. Figure out what you like and don't like about it so you can make a better choice if you decide that you want another after all.

It will make removal harder but if you find your Diva is too long, you can shorten it by flipping it inside out. Once you get the hang of removal, you might want to try that on your low cervix days. (But get the hang of removal first.)

And if you haven't read it yet, there's a really good Virgins Guide to Cups located under the Community FAQ section of this List. You'll find the FAQ link at the top right of every page.
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Katrinakatrina_splat on June 11th, 2010 01:58 am (UTC)
Do you have your period? A dry run is always more difficult than actually on your period in my experience. Your body will much more readily accept the cup that way.

I had huge trouble with the cup for a long time...took me 2 years to work out how to use it properly. I could feel it most of the time. Changing folds and placing it higher helped me.

Cups if cleaned properly cannot cause TSS. It is caused (as said above) by a bacteria entering the body through cuts in the vagina. So you have to 1. have that kind of bacteria in your vagina 2. manage to cause micro tears by using tampons improperly (using them when you don't have flow, leaving them in for way too long). Plenty of people still use tampons fine, and though there has been no official testing for TSS and cups there's no reason to think using them might cause it.

I can't get to my cervix ever, and my fav cup is the small lunette with no stem. I used a mooncup UK but the suction was really hard for me to break.

Best of luck, you can probably sell your cup here if you don't want it anymore. Diva is only popular because it's the most widely available, that doesn't mean it's the best. If more people use it you'll have more good (and bad) experiences with it. Good luck!
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Dina Clarelintilla on June 11th, 2010 07:06 am (UTC)
>>Cups if cleaned properly cannot cause TSS.>>

We cannot be 100% sure at this point that there is no possible way for properly cleaned cups to cause TSS. That being said, what we know about TSS and cups make it seem extremely unlikely. (Keeping in mind that there have been no reported cases of TSS in cup users, yet they've been around longer than tampons. Much smaller usage base, of course, but you know.)
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Katrinakatrina_splat on June 11th, 2010 01:59 pm (UTC)
True, thanks for the clarification :).
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Dina Clarelintilla on June 11th, 2010 07:06 am (UTC)
If you did, I'd be in trouble! ;)
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Dina Clarelintilla on June 11th, 2010 07:07 am (UTC)
This post may be helpful.
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