June 13th, 2013

Needing some encouragement :(

Hello! I am a 25 year old female (virgin). Some background: I've been using tampons for 12 years, I have a fairly light flow, and I've never been able to touch my cervix that I'm aware of, so I think it's fairly high up. I've been interested in menstrual cups since I found out about them when I was 17...and I even used this site! I ordered a diva cup in 2005 and I remember trying to put it in the first time and being very intimidated by it. I was so uncomfortable that I decided "heck no, I'll just use my tampons for a few years until I lose my virginity". I was nervous about it hurting. Well...fast forward 8 years now and I'm still a virgin, and I don't want to wait forever to switch over. I haven't had too many relationships and I have fairly traditional values sexually, but I do think *part* of the reason I'm still a virgin is because I haven't gotten over my discomfort with my vagina and the fear of pain. I know that my hymen is definitely still present as I've looked with a mirror and when I spread my legs the hymen is completely blocking the entrance to my vagina. I've only had 2 pap smears and both of them were very painful. I think this has somewhat scarred me.....my first one when I was 21 had me going "oh God oh God" just to get through it, and the doctor specifically told me to make sure I lubed up when I had sex.

I have a small Lunette Selene that I ordered a few weeks ago. I was not that intimidated by it and I tried one dry run and with a little lube and the Lunette slid in fairly easily using the punch down fold, but when it was time to let go it felt very uncomfortable, and I immediately panicked and took it out. It was barely inside the entrance to my vagina so it still hadn't popped open when I took it out but I'm not sure why it felt so uncomfortable.

Today is the first day of my period and I feel like I"m back to square one. I really want to feel comfortable with my vagina but I just don't. I've had less success than I did with my dry runs. I think I'm probably clenching my muscles even though I'm trying to relax. The idea of pushing the cup far enough in to let go is freaking me out....and I'm nervous about having to take it out later since I've read so many posts about removal being painful. I finally just put it a tampon, feeling like a wimp, but relieved because tampons for me are so quick and easy.

I feel bad because I thought at the age of 25 I would be more comfortable with myself. There are 14 year olds on here!

Left my cup in the sun for 2 months, did I damage it?

I put my Fleurcup on a windowsill in my conservatory to try and bleach some of the stains out, and I put it in a clear plastic box behind the blinds so my cat wouldn't use it as a chew toy. In hindsight, putting it behind the blinds wasn't such a good idea as I promptly forgot it was there, and it remained on the windowsill for the next 2 months (yay irregular cycles!). When I found it today I noticed there was some discolouration at the bottom of the stem and it was a little tacky, both of which have gone away with washing, but there's also a smell there (it doesn't smell like something organic that's gone off, it smells vaguely plastic-y/rubbery) that hasn't gone away. I've had it for less than 2 years. Is it possible the heat/light has degraded the silicone? Do I need to buy a new cup?