March 26th, 2010

Vaginal tightness?

Hello, everybody!  I am very, very new to the menstrual cup world, and just bought my first, a DivaCup (size 1) yesterday!  Unfortunately, I didn't research ahead of time like most of you ladies did, and jumped into buying the DivaCup right away because it was the only one I knew of (and the only one in the first store I went to).  I was quite surprised by how big it was even through the packaging, but was like, "Well, I'm sure all brands of cups will be the same, right?"  Right ;)  I tried the cup once during the day yesterday, only for an hour or so, and then I tried it again overnight, where it was in for 12ish hours.  It was all REALLY uncomfortable for me, could definitely feel the thing in there, especially the longer it was in, and it hurt like crazy to put it in and get it out.  I had thought the instructions that came with it were maybe being a bit idealistic talking about how you'll be able to feel what's going on during the insertion, sealing, and removal, because to me it was more like blindly (but gently) stuffing it in there and hoping it would adjust itself, but then reading through the posts here, it seems like that's something that most women are in tune with, while I felt NO popping open, suction, etc.  I just can't fit my fingers in with the cup to figure out what goes on up there.  (Leaking, if any, was minimal, but possibly just because of the light flow of that day, I don't know.)  I guess I can conclude that had I the funds for another cup, I could look around for a smaller one, seeing as I don't need the high-capacity cup because I don't have a heavy flow in the first place. 

Anyway, that's hardly even the point.  The point is -- and I know this is completely, completely ridiculous -- I was worried the whole time about it stretching me out too much.  I knew even before I'd bought it that the size of it would be on my mind and I'd be worried that it was "ruining my tightness", and that probably contributed to the pain I felt when I had it in.  I know I should be more concerned with the amount of waste I'm saving than trying to get my vagina tight enough to choke a gnat (not that I do that with my spare time), but I can't help feeling like this intimidatingly large cup is de-elasticizing me.  It's one thing to have something of that width in you for a little while, but another for it to be in there for such a long stretch of time, right?

I do plan to try again with the DivaCup, and I know that this is the absolute silliest worry to have.  But solutions or not, I'm really just interested in knowing if there's any basis to this.  Do menstrual cups stretch vaginas?  At all?  F'realz.  My apologies if this has been asked before.  I'd be happy to find direction to any previous answers.

Please help me find a cup that works!!!!!!!!!!

Short version:
Keeper cup: very painful. Cup too firm. Stem was AGONY. No way I could use it.
Meluna medium ball stem: went in very easily, super comfortable. Did not leak overnight. AWFUL trying to remove. I was afraid of dislocating my thumb and I think I may have sprained it!

Longer version:
I tried the Keeper a cycle or two ago. It leaked, was way too hard and firm going in, and the stem was so excruciatingly painful there was no way I could use it. The stem was so firm and pokey. I figured I needed a shorter cut with no stem so got a medium Meluna ball stem cup.

The good news is the cup went in fine. I had no pain and was very comfortable. I was afraid it might not have opened all the way, but I tried it overnight. No leaks! But, removal was AWFUL. I could not reach the cup at all. :( It probably took me at least 10 minutes of bearing down, fishing around, catching the end of it with my nails and nudging it down. Again, the good news is that it came out with virtually no discomfort, and I have no residual effects of the fishing. Well, except for the fact that I think I sprained my thumb slightly getting the sucker out.

I cannot use the Meluna. It is too short.

But, I need a soft cup that is easy to get in and will not irritate my vulva area at all. I have vestibular vulvodynia, a condition where pressure and poking etc. causes pretty significant pain on the vulva.

Please, I am so desperate. I want to use a cup, but I can't keep going through this. Does anyone have any suggestions for soft cups that I'll be able to get out? I'm guessing I have a high cervix b/c even docs have trouble finding it, but I'm not really sure. Both my attempts at cups have been that I place the cup and then it migrates upwards. In the Keeper case, this meant a painful, pokey stem. In the Meluna case, it meant a cup I really could not reach. I need a soft cup that I can reach. I fear the diva b/c I fear it's size (I'm 36 but never gave birth vaginally, never had a full term pregnancy and have a small vagina, I think). I also fear the diva b/c I think I need something that has gripper of some kind at the bottom.

Please help!