October 31st, 2004

being really real

while bleeding i always always use my diva cup and/or cotton pads. i've been using the diva cup for about a year and a half. today i wore my diva cup all day and didn't put it in quite right, it leaked a bit of course, and when i was taking it out i was a bit messy and i got blood everywhere. which really doesn't matter, i'm very comfortable with my menstral blood and body. but someone was coming over and i wasn't dressed and i could hear them on the steps. so i rinsed my diva cup real quick and grabbed a tampon (i have a box of OB's i keep on hand incase of emergency---i'd actually thought of throwing them away the other day). Tonight when i took it out and it smelled funny- like tampons always do, and I thought to myself that it's no wonder people think of bleeding as gross or dirty. tampons and pads make it something dirty. i like the time when i'm bleeding, my roommate thinks i'm crazy. but i celebrate it. i wonder if women would like their periods more if they expirienced them instead of hiding them and trying to forget they are having one. menstral cups and cloth pads are so much more inclusive, like involving a woman in her own body. midwives often remind women that their body and baby know how birth goes. i try to think about that when i'm bleeding, my body is in control and i should let it work. it knows what it's doing. maybe it's just radical acceptance i'm talking about but when i started having to see and touch my menstral blood i started to know my body better and accepted myself enough as i am to include it's natural processes as wonderful [even when i see commericals everytime i turn on the tv that tell me periods aren't and my body isn't] I think it's beautiful and real to be as you are and really awesome how bodies work.

i just wanted to post this because i thought it might be encouraging!♥