Okay, so the basics first: I'm 19 (will be 20 in March), a virgin, never properly used tampons because they hurt and were just really, really difficult whenever I tried. It's been a few years since the last time, though. I absolutely hate pads, they're generally uncomfortable and messy and just ick, but that's what I've used pretty much since day one. I'm between 5' 3" and 5' 4", weighed 97 pounds last I checked, so pretty small. And I'm totally blind, which I only mention because I'm not sure how much (if any) of the process would be easier with some vision.
I'm very, very confused about which cup to choose. I know I need to just get in there and do some exploring, figure out what and where things are and all that, and my flow is pretty light except on the first and sometimes second day, so I don't think I need anything heavy-duty for major blood. I've been leaning more toward the Lunette for its hardness and the smaller size I think it has, but I had a couple questions there. First, I wanted the hardness as opposed to something soft and squishy because I read that the squishier ones tend to hold the fold more and be harder to pop open. I'm really nervous about insertion because I'm so unfamiliar with things like this, so I thought the harder one would be better. But will it be more uncomfortable if I'm small, tighter and relatively unstretched? Not sure how that works. Also, I'm not quite sure how to know what length I need as far as the actual cup goes. Is this just something else I'll have to figure out by exploration?
And finally, I am for some reason absolutely terrified about removing it. I know it's not going to get stuck up there or anything and my hymen isn't going to keep it in permanently, but ... I don't know. The whole idea of removal just freaks me out extremely. I don't have a specific question here, just tips? Tricks? Anything? Tell me I can do it and I'm not going to have to like, wear it for an unhealthy length of time or take myself off to a doctor to remove it. Haha. I know it's silly, but removal is the main thing that's still holding me back from purchasing one. I think I'll go through one more pad period, do some exploring and psyching myself up, and buy it as a birthday present for myself (March 11). I should get it just in time if I do that.
Sorry it got so long! I tend to ramble on anyway, and this community has been so helpful to me already, I just wanted to make sure I got everything in there. Thank you all for being as nice and supportive as you seem to be--I'm still a little uncomfortable with talking about these things and even more with this exploration stage. Time to get past it, though. I'm actually pretty excited about the cup idea itself, looking forward to buying it and trying it out. Not quite sure how to tag this, so hope I got it right.