*Long Post and some TMI---peruse at your own risk*
After three days browsing, clicking, and key-word searching through the Memories, Tags, and recent posts, I feel as though I know several of you. So hi. And I'm in need of some troubleshooting help that is similar to others' problems but that is based on weird questions I've had since I was a preteen but for which I was never able to find an answer.
Past usage: disposable pads since onset of menses (have never even seen an unwrapped tampon)
Cup: brand-new (as of last night) Diva, size 1
Folds tried: the punch-down/push-down; Seven; and the one that came with the booklet [I seriously can't do the origami]
Sexual activity: small vibrator use for years, but never inserted more than the head/tip. Also, I've had PIV sex 10-12 times with the same partner, who either has a rather small and slim penis, or we're doing it wrong OR my equipment is not easily compatible with his (he slips out a lot and it's hard for him to reach deep inside). Which brings me to...
Ob/Gyn issues: the one pap smear I've had (pre-PIV sex), the small speculum hurt like a mofo...to the point of near-screams/tears. The doctor made some mild comment like "well, this is a bit tough." (uh, thanks...)
Cup problems (the usual):
(1) At times, I did get suction (heard and felt it), but....Like many other past posters, the bell of the cup will not disappear inside; there is still a goodly bit of cup (and, of course, the stem) sticking out, and when I open my legs, I can see the bottom of the bell easily in the mirror. The stem (even after I trimmed), pokes into the crotch of my panties (so that if I was wearing tight spandex or work out pants, people would see the protrusion).
(2) I can also feel it inside me, not in a painful way, but in a "there is an obstruction here; if I shift the wrong way, something's going to happen" way.
(3) I just went to pee, and there were only a few drops of blood on the pantyliner (yay), but, as soon as I began peeing, the cup pushed itself out like magic and plopped right into the (urine-filled) toilet bowl (retrieved it).
Trouble-shooting I've done on my own (based on all the memories and tags):
1. Cut down one notch of the stem.
2. Turned inside out (too slippery and still same problems as above)
3. Tried different folds (punchdown, seven, the standard booklet one)
4. tried different positions (5-7 tries over the whole of today; took the day off from work): lying on back; sitting on a low (toilet-height) stool; lying on side; standing
5. I was lubed up with fresh (1 1/2 days in) blood and mucous
6. Used a hand-mirror to see what I was doing
7. Felt for my cervix while in the shower before embarking...didn't really learn much
8. stuck a safety pin point through the holes to make sure they were really hole-y.
As for my real questions, to which I've never been able to find the answers (and you vagina-lovin' educated types might know):
1. Okay, I know this is likely an absurd notion, because I don't think the vaginal canal is divided up like this, but when people insert things into the vagina--say, a penis/dildo; a tampon; a cup--with the goal of going deep in, does it matter where exactly on the labia we make the entrance? Because all of the "insertion" diagrams I've seen have been from the side--that doesn't help me. I want to see a vulva head-on, legs, spread, so I can know which is the part that should be pentrated.
Basically, if we imagine a pencil pointing down (north to south) and set that up side by side (parallel) to a vulva looked at thus, the eraser is roughly corresponding to the clitoris and northern point of the labia, right? So, where is the insertion supposed to take place: the middle (virtually impossible for my partner's penis and/or the Diva to go further than a few centimetres in) or the southern bottom, towards the lead point of the pencil/rectum (this is where I've been able to get stuff in deeper. though it leads to an uncomfortable feeling of over-fullness).
Or, does it not matter how north or south the point of entry is--it all just opens into the same tunnel...?
2. Can I take my cup to an ob/gyn and have them show me how to (a) find my cervix and (b) insert the damn thing? I really want to learn how to use this and not give up, but my body keeps rejecting my Diva. Maybe a pro is needed...
At the end of my long day of cup experimentation today, I'm back to disposable pads (bleh for the earth and my wallet).
If I can't figure out the cup and if a doctor can't help show me how to insert it properly, then I will have to invest in cloth reusable pads (the thought of a pad is so comforting to me right now).