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04 May 2008 @ 09:04 pm
My Divacup (size for women who have not had childbirth) came in the mail yesterday and I woke up this morning with cramps, hopped out of bed, and took my new cup to test it out before my flow started in earnest. Long story short, I can't get it more than a little bit in without it being so painful I can't force myself to try it any more.

For reference, I'm a 17-year-old virgin, and a rather small person.

Daunted by my first try as well as a bit sore, I hopped on the computer and came across this community. Since then, I have tried the 7-fold and punch-down (modified so it's as small as I can make it), and diamond fold. I practiced the origami but can't hold onto it without it popping open. I've tried sitting, standing, squatting, and laying down, and also tried in the shower; laying down was the most successful but I still can't get it very far without it hurting so much that I stop.

After that I got sore and discouraged, so I threw on a pad and went for Sunday exercise (physically taxing foam-padded sword fighting), but coming home to the stupid mess of the pad after all my physical exertions just made me want to try harder. I explained my frustrations to my mother and she actually gave me some lube [o.o], but I haven't tried that yet.

I'm sore from fighting, cramps, and trying my cup... I think I'll go swallow some painkillers and maybe try again in the shower.

*Side question: I'm excited that you can get away with active stuff while using a cup--I always use pads and it's horribly messy; at least, the Divacup website had a testimonial from a rugby player who used one. I get bowled over by big shield-bearing men, rolled on the ground, hit with padded weapons, and have to run all over the field. What experiences have you had with using a cup while being very physically active?
annina: deardiaryajun on May 5th, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
sorry that it didn't work yet for you, i'm not a virgin but also a rather small person and am also quite small in my vagina (i hate that word but what else to say ;)
i have only had my smaller Divacup for one cycle and it worked good for me, what i wanted to say is, with squatting, do you mean sitting on the toilet?
because for me it is easiest to insert the cup when sitting on toilet.
with tampons i used to be able to insert them standing too, and i thought it would be the same with the cup, but it's actually much more difficult and so i always sit on the toilet, then i'm somehow more relaxed and the position is just optimal for inserting.

i can't really help more, i hope you can find a way to make it work for you, but i think it's a good idea to take a break and maybe try again tomorrow!
thainwulfthainwulf on May 5th, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
I've tried both sitting on the toilet and squatting while in the shower.

I've never used tampons, after an unpleasant experience with them way back when I was in junior high. Could my problem be that I'm just not used to having stuff... in there? *.* Would trying out with a smaller tampon first help, maybe?
annina: reachtheskyajun on May 5th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
yes as others wrote here after me it could be that you are just not used to have anything in there, and that trying to gradually stretch yourself a little might help.
on the first day when i used my cup i still found it quite big to insert, but after the cycle and havong used it for 5 days i felt like i better knew how to relax my muscles to allow for easier insertion. i kind of "got used to more stretching" too i think.

i myself am not sure yet if i will keep the small diva or if i will maybe order the small LadyCup and try returning the Diva, because the small LadyCup is the samllest of all cups if i got that right in a chart here, and i'm thinking it might be enough for my light flow aswell!
maybe if all fails you could also try to get a LadyCup and then if that works better get your money back for the Diva? (with my Diva it said it has a 3 months money back guarantee)
kitikatz1kitikatz1 on May 5th, 2008 04:19 pm (UTC)
Another name?
You can always refer to them as your "Girl Bits", works for me.
annina: reachtheskyajun on May 5th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Another name?
thanks, yeah that's more fun than vagina-shmagina ;)
kitikatz1kitikatz1 on May 6th, 2008 12:01 am (UTC)
Re: Another name?
MUCH nicer to say and all the girls will know exactly what you mean.
slinkydhoney on May 5th, 2008 03:10 am (UTC)
I had some major problems with the c-fold & was in a world of pain when I tried it. I was sore & never wanted to try again.

Try the labial fold. It worked for the me the 2nd time I tried it.
thainwulfthainwulf on May 5th, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
Oh, thanks! I'll try this tomorrow, though I'm trying to figure out how to fold it now. Is it like punching it down -outside- and then folding in on it? I think I'm misunderstanding the pictures. :(
slinkydhoney on May 5th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
The way I understood it (and the way that worked for me) is you pinch a bit of the rim between your fingers - so it's like a tiny c-fold - & you push that pinch into the cup - so the sides fold in on it & that pinched part is all tucked in. This helps a lot with insertion for me because it makes it smaller.

Does that help? I'm not sure my written explanation is better than the pictures.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes the 2nd time around!
Christinekisekileia on May 5th, 2008 06:16 am (UTC)
I think the problem is likely that you're not used to having anything in there at all, and the Diva cup is pretty big. You might want to hold off until next cycle before you try the cup again, and in the meantime try gradually stretching out your hymen and the muscles in your vagina with your fingers in the shower every day.
Raychrendyrheart on May 5th, 2008 07:13 am (UTC)
Okay, so I posted before about this, and since have had a better time of it.

I think for me the first time I tried it, I got so freaked out and sore, and was so determined too get it in, that when I finally did, I was already hurting.

I put it aside for that month.

This cycle, I was able to get it in as I'd been stretching the area a bit. It didn't sit very comfy, so I actually removed it, cut off a little of the stem, and now it's doing fine.

I think the hardest part was not getting it in, but getting it to open, and I did that by having it sit a little further in than the instructions say, and it seems to be working (I fight with practice Kendo sticks and also boffing swords, and so far no leakage, and it's been more comfy than tampons.

Oh, I finally just reversed the way I was doing the c-fold and it opened better for me, but other than that, I like the punch down.
ever so slightly obsessedscien on May 5th, 2008 08:09 am (UTC)
The lube will definitely, definitely help. Use it!

Are you sure you know where everything is? Sometimes people can be in a lot of pain because they're poking and jabbing in slightly the wrong location or direction. If you haven't yet, I would suggest exploring with your fingers and a drop of lube.

You'll notice that your vagina points towards your tailbone not your head as you might expect, this is really noticable when you're sitting down and affects the angle you want to push things in at.

Also check to see if you can feel your cervix, learn what it feels like and where it is - it can move around quite a lot! The cervix is the connection to the womb, where the blood comes from. It feels kind of like the tip of your nose, with a dimple in the middle. You want the rim of the cup to be below the cervix so it can catch the blood.

I would advise not attempting to insert the cup until you learn how to insert two fingers.

If it hurts, stop and try adding more lube and adjusting the angle. If you're sore, I'd suggest not trying until you feel better.

The cup is fantastic for sports, even swimming. I'm sure you'll find it extremely rewarding when you get the hang of it.

Best of luck! Hang in there. Give it another go when you feel recovered. It doesn't even need to be on your period.
ever so slightly obsessedscien on May 5th, 2008 08:11 am (UTC)
P.S. there's no need to 'force' yourself to try anything you're not comfortable with. Don't feel you're obliged to use it just because you bought it. Those suckers last a long time, it'll still be there next month and next year.
Moriahacrophilia on May 5th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
try the lube and relax as much as possible- and definitely do it when you have a lot of time. Sounds strange, but maybe try it after you take a big poo. Mine always feels like it's going to fall out when I have to 'go.' As I remember, it took a lot to get it in, but I thought getting it out was the worst. I would advise keeping it pinched as tightly shut as you can for as long as possible, and when you go to take it out, reach a finger in to break the seal before trying to remove it by tugging. I'm tempted to tell you to alternate between pads and the cup, but as soon as you get the hang of the cup, it'll (likely) go every time!

Since I'm in a dorm, I usually take care of mine in the shower, but sometimes (often) the water is really unhelpful. I think I've had my Diva Cup for 4 or 5 cycles, and it definitely took practice. All the best to you!

And for the other question: fencing, swimming, vinyasa yoga, ballet, belly dance, and fairly athletic ballroom dance (with boys lifting girls and the crotchal region being exposed to everyone) - all with my DivaCup. And it's been fantastic.
Miakatimamiakatima on May 5th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
were you inserting the cup dry or did you dampen it with water? personally, i can't insert the cup at all if it's dry. i always rinse it with water and that does the trick for me. but if you're just starting, definitely use the lube! (check to make sure it isn't silicone based!)

if your skin is irritated, trying even harder isn't going to help it feel better. let your body relax and recover. as sweetrush said, there's no need to rush! your cup will be around for a long time! ^_^
thainwulfthainwulf on May 5th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice everyone! I think I'm going to wait until next cycle or at least until I'm not sore any more, and try the labial fold (I think I managed to fold it right--I like that the shape is a lot more even). Not to mention I'm dead tired... bad time to try new things, heheh. I'll let you all know how it turns out.
Alwynsabishii_kirito on May 6th, 2008 08:20 am (UTC)
I agree with everyone else... Definitely wait a cycle and then try and stretch yourself a bit in the mean time. I'm not a virgin, but before I got used to putting in/removing the cup, it hurt pretty bad. I'd suggest holding your lips apart with two fingers on your non-dominant hand (like a V shape) and then slowly easing it in. I notice now that even when I thought I was getting it in right, I was still catching skin on it as it went in, and now that I'm not doing that it doesn't hurt at all.

As for activity, I do yoga fairly often, but my first big test with my DivaCup was the other day when I rode my bike for 4-5 hours to and from another city. It was the first day of my cycle, but heavier than normal, and I got there and back without any leaks or discomfort. It's not the same kind of activity, but if you're worried about anything, chances are you'll be fine as long as the seal is correct.
K.girlracer on May 8th, 2008 04:22 pm (UTC)
instead softcup
I didn't notice anyone suggesting this yet - the Instead is a lot softer and more flexible, so you might have more luck with that.

I had a tough time using tampons before and after losing my virginity, they were never comfortable for me.