I am now the owner and operator of a speculum. I learned something: my body is astonishing.
It was frustrating trying to operate the thing at first, since they're not designed for self-exams. You need good lighting, a mirror, and two free hands to operate the spec. A lot of fiddling and blind maneuvering to try and find the winking little land of oz.
But I found it! WOW! My cervix is as cute as a button. It kind of looks like a button. I could stare at it for hours. It's amazing - this teeny thing inside me the size of a penny can pass open wide enough to pass another human being through it. It's quite shiny and pretty.
It was so pleasing.
Next, after closing and repositioning the spec perpendicular, so the handle is at 9 o'clock instead of at 6 o'clock, there came into view my urethral sponge.
Holy shit. Wow. It's massive. MAH-SIVE. Jaw-droppingly so. No wonder the longer diva cup wasn't working for me, it kept chafing my HULKING G-SPOT.
I had no idea there were things inside of me that are so fascinating. I had no idea how varied not only the outsides, but the insides are. We made some surprising discoveries.
How can this huge structure be right inside my vagina and I didn't know about it? I knew about it in theory, but it's presented as this rubix cube, difficult to find and impossible to operate. It's conspicuously absent from many anatomical charts. IT'S HUGE! How can you leave that out??? It's like ignoring a man's testicles or prostate! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!
So anyway, I think that EVERYONE who owns a cunt needs a spec. Get one. They're just a few dollars; a small price for self-discovery, which leads to self-care and self-advocacy. They're awkward to try to operate on yourself, but you'll get the knack of it after a few tries, and I found it to be much more comfortable than a doc's examination because 1. I'm being careful and I can feel my way around and 2. I'm taking my time.
Get a spec, a big bright lamp and a makeup mirror that stands on it's own. Even better if it magnifies.
Check out your cervix, check out your sponge, check out the stretchy, rippled walls of your vag. You won't be sorry, and you'll wonder why it took so long.