? ?
11 February 2008 @ 12:50 am
Heyy, I'm new here.

My name is Kayla, I'm seventeen and I live with my aunt. I have been reading/researching about alternative menstrual products for about two years now and I've decided that I want to get a menstrual cup. I can't find Insteads around here anywhere (western Maryland), so I asked my aunt to order a Divacup for me.

She read around the site for a few minutes, asked me questions about it, and she decided that she's totally against it. She doesn't like any new medical/health developments, she says that in like ten years they'll say that these things cause cancer or something. Does anyone know how I can convince her that menstrual cups are perfectly safe to use? D:
Current Mood: tiredtired
Christinekisekileia on February 11th, 2008 05:55 am (UTC)
Could you just get a friend to order it instead?

*Edit: You might also want to point out that it's made of medical-grade silicone, which is routinely used in medical equipment, and encourage her to call the company and ask her questions.

Edited at 2008-02-11 05:56 am (UTC)
Sarah: divacupflannelgnome on February 11th, 2008 05:58 am (UTC)
Have her check out the Museum of Menstruation online. She'll see that cups aren't actually a new thing at all.

Good luck!
mandarinarosa on February 11th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
Introduction to a History of the Menstrual Cup:

Leahsimpleshaquana on February 11th, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)
I would also suggest pointing out that it's been used in medical equipment (including certain artificial body parts, I think, which are basically implanted in people's bodies for years!) so there's probably been significant research done on it to make sure that the material itself is safe. If she's concerned about them because you insert them in your vagina, you could also point out that women have used devices that are inserted in one's vagina for centuries (tampons, sea sponges, other forms of cups) and nothing bad has happened to them.

If she's really against it, then just save up your own money and get a friend who has a credit card to do it. She doesn't need to know what you're putting in your own body!
fight or flightstuhfoo on February 11th, 2008 07:45 am (UTC)
Not to mention sex toys, some of which are also made of silicone. Sorry, I had to say it.
faesdeynia on February 11th, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC)
Don't apologize . . . that was what tipped me toward using the Moon Cup.
khendrix85khendrix85 on February 11th, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC)
you could also point out that women have used devices that are inserted in one's vagina for centuries (tampons, sea sponges, other forms of cups) and nothing bad has happened to them.

i'd just like to point out that people have DIED from tampons. lol
Leahsimpleshaquana on February 11th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
ok...I definitely should take that back. But at the same time, there are no documented cases of TSS with cups, right?
khendrix85khendrix85 on February 11th, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
absolutely none.
elizends_and_means on February 11th, 2008 06:03 am (UTC)
tell her they're not new (been around since the 1930s), and that tampons etc. are more likely to cause health problems than cups.
Dina Clare: *laf*lintilla on February 11th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
New? Hahaha. I remember reading a post a while back about a gal here whose aunt (or something) used menstrual cups back in the 50s. No cancer there! XD
Carolinemiriyaayanne on February 11th, 2008 01:38 pm (UTC)
If your aunt is under seventy, tell her that menstrual cups have been around longer than she has :P
Inkshopezmerelda77 on February 11th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
They have been around for awhile. When I told my mom that I was using a menstrual cup she told me that she had also used one, except her's was latex. I think the only thing "new" about the cup is the silicone and that isn't all that new.
just2have1dream on February 11th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
My mom said she used one too! She was really dismissive about it, though, I don't think it fit her right, she complained that it kept slipping down, so she gave up. What a bummer she never told me about it! I had to find out about cups on my own.
rubykins02rubykins02 on February 11th, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
Cups have been around for years with no evidence of causing disease unlike tampons which have been shown to cause TSS.
If you are old enough to have your period and think intelligently about your options for dealing with it, you are old enough to order one on your own and use it. I don't think she has any real right to control this issue for you.
Christinekisekileia on February 11th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
Agreed. I don't see anything wrong with going behind your aunt's back on this if you have to. You are the only one with the right to control your own body, since you have the maturity to do so.

Edited at 2008-02-11 07:53 pm (UTC)
Angela's Ribbonsthought_ribbons on February 11th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
Have you tried looking online? some health food stores carry them.

Maybe tell your aunt that it's your body and you would really like to try, and it's your money.

I have to admit I was a bad kid and I just threw hissy fits when I wanted somthing until I got it...

But def try the above tactics, its all really great informatioN!
Dmangojellytoast on February 11th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
Have you looked for Insteads in drugstores near you? I have seen Insteads in Walgreens/CVS type stores pretty frequently over the last year or so.

I agree with some of the previous commenters as well. I wouldn't tell every teenager to go behind their guardian's back, but you're seventeen and I think that's definitely old enough to be making your own decisions about your body and your menstrual products.
Chelsea Elisecamptramp9th on February 12th, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
get a prepaid credit card and order it your self?
newlydiva on February 12th, 2008 05:18 am (UTC)
Oh, parental units. It's frustrating when people are resistant to change, ain't it? Especially when (a) it's not really *change* because cups have been around for so long and (b) generally, it's such a positive change.

It seems to me that convincing reluctant guardians often pops up here. I know that several of the posters have suggested purchasing the cup on your own without telling your Aunt and if that's necessary, I'm all for it. But since you said you spoke with her about it in the first place, I don't know if that's an option for you. If it's a credit card thing and you run out of options, I'd go on eBay and see if you can find a seller that will take money orders (several posters here have had success getting cups through that route). That way, you can pay for it and order it yourself. Generally, it just means you'll have to wait longer for the cup (you mail the money order, they wait til they get it, then mail). If no one's posted that they allow money orders, email the seller and explain what's going on and ask if they'd be willing to do it that way for you...

If that's not an option, I'd suggest sitting down with your aunt again. As I've said before, I'm a huge fan of the "ripping the band-aid off" approach. "Hey, remember that time we had that vagina discussion and you said you didn't like the idea of the menstrual cup, I've been thinking...."

Go through the community here and make a list of the pros of the cup. For example: it's cheaper, it's cleaner, it doesn't interfere with the self-cleaning-oven-ness of Ladytown, etc. If she's concerned about the potential dangers presenting themselves in the long term, I'd point out to her that the chemicals used to bleach tampons aren't exactly something she'd mix up into sunday night dinner. This on top of the TSS risk and the fact that they dry out your vag.

In fact, I'd start the conversation by gently pointing out that she is perfectly entitled to her opinion and that you respect it, but you're also entitled to yours. Her not liking the idea of a menstrual cup really only affects one vagina: hers. You shouldn't let her elect herself mayor of your Ladytown.

Tell her you'd really appreciate her respecting your decision in this -- it seems to me that you've put a lot of thought and research into this (kudos!) so it's not something you've entered into lightly. Remind her of that and drop the big one's like "the cup is FDA and Health Canada approved..." and "the cup's been around since the 60s..."

If you've got a family doctor, maybe you could talk to them about the cup and medical grade silicone and see if he/she would be willing to talk to your aunt. It sounds like she might be more willing to listen to someone with a bunch of letters after their name, maybe? I should point out that not all doctors have heard of the cup so that may not work...

The most important thing that I'd probably tell her if I was you is that having her respect your decision is important: it reflects that you can talk to her woman to woman and will help you feel more comfortable in the future when you want to talk her about things that are important to you.

And remind her that just because you buy the cup doesn't mean it's surgically grafted into Ladytown. Tell her you'll keep her posted about how things are progressing and if you're having any problems.

Is there any other older female or male in your life you'd be able to talk to you about this if things don't work out with your aunt? I know it's tough if you don't, I didn't have a lot of options growing up either...

And most important: Keep us posted too!
missKitty_79: crampsmisskitty_79 on February 13th, 2008 09:28 am (UTC)
Perhaps your gynaecologist could help you find one?